What do you do if your friend is "THAT patient?"

[mskate]

So, long story short, I recently got back in touch with an old highschool friend whom I had lost touch with over the past 10 years or so over facebook.

She is one of these chronically ill with a number of things, none of which QUITE make sense to me, always in the ED person... She ended up really having something wrong once and unfortunately had a complication that left her debilitated (a very reasonable, very expected complication - to point out - pre-op she moved into a handicapped accessible home in anticipation of this complication). This is unfortunate, no doubt.

But what kills me is, even before this injury and certainly thereafter - all of her postings are disparaging comments about how "stupid" all doctors and nurses are and other comments like that, and how she is "abused" - for what amounted to looking for a muscle twitch or movement in a flaccid post-op extremity by nail bed pressure and various pinching up extremities, pain from an infiltrated IV, and now she is trying to sue the doctors and nurses for patient abuse and just keeps a constant rail on the hospital staff via text message, facebook, blogs, etc... every time she is admitted, in the ED, or thinking about her health issues, and to be honest - her complaints are things that are just, albeit uncomfortable, or inconvenient (take a second pregnancy test, even though you did one a day ago, for example), that are routine, common and part of the deal when you come to the hospital. Video taping the room, snapping secret pictures of nurses ID's who come into the room - even the janitor!

She is the epitome of the patient that no one wants to go NEAR, who people avoid the room, who comes back and tries to sue the staff.... Eeek! What in the world do you do?? It is extremely hard to ignore this behavior, because it is relentless, but also as a nurse - its exceptionally irritating and more than mildly offensive to hear people rail on nurses who are CLEARLY just doing their job. I have told her I am offended by this, I have tried to explain rationale, explained and explained and explained - but all she says is "Well, on Web MD...." and "Well, i don't know how YOU are as a nurse, so I can't say to you specifically....but THESE ones..."

*bangs head* /vent

[VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN]

Defriend her and stay away. When a patient at your facility, treat her with kindness and dignity as you would any other patient, but be careful to follow all facility policies and protocols to the "T" and of course, document, document, document!

[mskate]

Defriend her and stay away. When a patient at your facility, treat her with kindness and dignity as you would any other patient, but be careful to follow all facility policies and protocols to the "T" and of course, document, document, document!

Oh, no - sorry - she is well out of state. I don't have her at my facility, I'm just talking about the extremely uncomfortable personal interactions.

[canigraduate]

Time for another 10 year time-out.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

I just unfriended a former hs classmate for a similar reason. I was just sick of the complaints that as a disabled person she was entitled to everything. Best move in my case.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

But defriending her on FB is good advice. Generally I just hide people who post things that I don't like but don't want to unfriend for whatever reason (inlaws, want to be friends just don't want to read their status updates, etc), but if someone is posting something that really bothers me, I defriend.

It's unfortunate that she is dealing with her illness this way, but don't go looking for aggravation.

[NurseBlueBear]

I have to agree that this is a mess you just don't want to step in. Just unfriend her and take another 10+ year time out.

[NightNurseRN]

I cant stand when people act this way! When my FIL was in my hospital, on MY UNIT, my MIL would complain constantly. It got on my last nerve! I would probably give the friend a piece of my mind because that's just how I am. But defriending her is a good idea too :)

[AOx1]

Well, you could share a link with her to the satire website "The Oatmeal," which has a hilarious comic on "How to suck at Facebook."

Kidding (mostly)! I agree with others: defriend. This type of person just drains energy & emotion.

[JenniferSews]

Another for unfriending. There is no reason in the world you should put up with someone you dislike on FB. If you don't want to unfriend her you can easily block her posts. Just hover your mouse to the upper right of her post and click on the X that appears. It will give you an option to hide that post or hide all posts by that person. They have no idea you have hidden them, so no drama.

There is no way you can change the person she is/has become. No amount of educating is going to change her perspective. Most likely she ENJOYS the drama created by constantly being the martyr in every situation. If you attempt to educate her she will find a reason to make you a part of "those people" who are stupid/don't care/ assault her, etc. Walk away with your career and more important friendships intact.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

What reason do you have for keeping her as your Facebook friend? Do you have one? One that overrides the reasons to not have her as a Facebook friend?

You don't have to keep an irritating person as a friend either online or in person. Consider your motives if you do. You can tell her what you're going to do and the reason, and if she doesn't respond as a FRIEND would, just do it.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

so, long story short, i recently got back in touch with an old highschool friend whom i had lost touch with over the past 10 years or so over facebook.

she is one of these chronically ill with a number of things, none of which quite make sense to me, always in the ed person... she ended up really having something wrong once and unfortunately had a complication that left her debilitated (a very reasonable, very expected complication - to point out - pre-op she moved into a handicapped accessible home in anticipation of this complication). this is unfortunate, no doubt.

but what kills me is, even before this injury and certainly thereafter - all of her postings are disparaging comments about how "stupid" all doctors and nurses are and other comments like that, and how she is "abused" - for what amounted to looking for a muscle twitch or movement in a flaccid post-op extremity by nail bed pressure and various pinching up extremities, pain from an infiltrated iv, and now she is trying to sue the doctors and nurses for patient abuse and just keeps a constant rail on the hospital staff via text message, facebook, blogs, etc... every time she is admitted, in the ed, or thinking about her health issues, and to be honest - her complaints are things that are just, albeit uncomfortable, or inconvenient (take a second pregnancy test, even though you did one a day ago, for example), that are routine, common and part of the deal when you come to the hospital. video taping the room, snapping secret pictures of nurses id's who come into the room - even the janitor!

she is the epitome of the patient that no one wants to go near, who people avoid the room, who comes back and tries to sue the staff.... eeek! what in the world do you do?? it is extremely hard to ignore this behavior, because it is relentless, but also as a nurse - its exceptionally irritating and more than mildly offensive to hear people rail on nurses who are clearly just doing their job. i have told her i am offended by this, i have tried to explain rationale, explained and explained and explained - but all she says is "well, on web md...." and "well, i don't know how you are as a nurse, so i can't say to you specifically....but these ones..."

*bangs head* /vent

and she's your friend why? what i'd do about it is unfriend her -- both on facebook and in real life. it doesn't sound as though she's adding anything positive to your life!