Trying not to be Discouraged:(

nola1202 · Jun 25, 2011

This is the reality of work. There's always someone who is Soooooooo much smarter and better than their peers (and you) that they must inform you of this fact frequently. I don't know if you have siblings....as a younger sister, I got this a lot growing up. 1. Don't feel like you have to defend your preceptors or her co-workers. 2. Don't let yourself internalize her comments...it helps me to think "this is how this person handles her stress, it's not that big a deal. I also tell myself to listen to the message not the messenger. She may have a good technique or two, I'll concentrate on learning that and forget the negative tone. 3. Thank your lucky stars she isn't your regular preceptor! Just be careful not to stir the pot, tell the nurses you enjoy working with how much you appreciate them, but don't say much about the negative one, chances are there's a storm-a-brewin based on her response to you! Good luck, and I'm so glad you are a nurse! You are needed and valued and yes, you do know what you are doing, so be proud. :)

tyvin, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2011

Suck it up girl and get back out there. Lifes not all wine and roses and so with orientation. I would say you were lucky to have 4 in a row that were so receptive. Remember; don't become that nurse ... Don't waste your energy worrying about that person. Karma rules. You'll be fine.

Of course it's stressful, you're in orientaion! This to shall pass. Ya know not all nurses are going to be receptive to say the least. I've had them want to kiss me and then I've had them try to kill me. Ahhhh ... ain't life grand? Good luck to you.

kahunachic22 · Jun 25, 2011

Hi! I am also a new grad RN, and I just completed my 3 month orientation a week ago! Please, please, please hang in there and don't get discouraged! You will unfortunately come across many people like this during your orientation (and career!), and please don't let them get you down! During my orientation, I experienced everything from coworker, patient and family compliments to a nurse who wouldn't let me even witness a telephone consent for a PEG tube "just because I was a new nurse" (nevermind the fact that I have perfect hearing and was perfectly capable of acting as a witness). For me, personally, I have found my post-orientation time to be a very humbling experience. I have already been charge nurse on the smaller unit of my floor (third day off orientation, yikes!!), and it was a fantastic day. I was told many times what a great job I was doing. Then today I had the worst day imaginable. Long story short, you are going to have many ups and downs, good days and bad, great coworkers and other coworkers you want to strangle with pillows when no one's looking. I have a charge nurse who whenever she asks me questions, I feel like she's attacking me. But she is great nurse who gives excellent care to her patients that I can learn a lot from. I'm sure I can also learn a lot of "what not to do" from her as well , just like I did from my preceptor :-) . And please don't get discouraged because you don't know how to do something, or let anyone make you feel bad because you don't know something. If nurses came straight out of school remembering everything and knowing how to do everything perfectly, then what would we need a 3 month orientation for anyway? I did all my time, and I had a patient today who needed a wound vac changed. Guess what? I've never done one! It's a constant learning experience! Good luck to you and be proud of the great job you've done so far--and keep it up, we need more great, caring, compassionate nurses out there!!

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2011

Gotta love nurse the preceptor from hell.

Just remember:

1) When you precept, you will know how not to act.

2) She probably does know something, so maybe it's not a total loss.

3) like another poster said, don't stir the pot and tell the other preceptors about her. Keep it to yourself.

4) My motto in life is "This too shall pass" Nothing lasts forever and neither will she.

Go pray, have a glass of wine, throw darts at a picture of her. Don't let her snarky attitude get to you.

Hugs!

mindlor · Jun 25, 2011

read my thread on bitter dried up nurses lol.....you are not alone

Best of luck to you!!

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2011

Sorry, I don't agree with sucking rude behaviour up. Corner this rude person and tell them how you feel. He/she will be taken aback to say the least. Tell them you felt disrespected and humiliated, and point out why exactly and when. They might not 'get it', but it will certainly rattle them. Then again, they may make your next session a living hell! But I doubt it somehow. I've confronted people in private re the way they treated me - I even c/o my CN who was my preceptor in a former job not supporting me, and we had a meeting with the CNC. The CN was good after that, but she got her little, nasty minions to make my life a misery when she wasn't there! I did leave as it was a toxic environment, but not before I told the management EXACTLY what I thought of their unprofessional and childish behaviour. I got a better job after that, now I'm studying again. And it felt SOOO incredibly satisfying telling those fat NUMs what I thought of them!!

The only reason we let people get away with being rude, is that WE TOLERATE THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody else will! You are a professional also, so tell this preceptor to start acting like one, not like spoiled, uppity, little madams who think they know everything. If you come across as being a strong person, people will respect you more.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Jun 25, 2011

It's one bad shift out of many good ones. Don't let this determine how the rest of your orientation goes. You can't change people but you can change how you let them effect you.

Miller86 · Jun 25, 2011

People like that are just insecure and need to bully someone to feel good about themselves. Ask questions and practice what you have not done before regardless of her remarks. You need to learn and that's why you are on orientation! Focus on all the other positive days you had and work on any areas that may need improvement.

If 3 nurses believed you were great and she thought different and on top of that talked impolitely about them ...well that just shows who was in the wrong there.

Good luck with the rest of orientation and stay positive!!

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jun 25, 2011

Sorry, I don't agree with sucking rude behaviour up. Corner this rude person and tell them how you feel. He/she will be taken aback to say the least. Tell them you felt disrespected and humiliated, and point out why exactly and when. They might not 'get it', but it will certainly rattle them. Then again, they may make your next session a living hell! But I doubt it somehow. I've confronted people in private re the way they treated me - I even c/o my CN who was my preceptor in a former job not supporting me, and we had a meeting with the CNC. The CN was good after that, but she got her little, nasty minions to make my life a misery when she wasn't there! I did leave as it was a toxic environment, but not before I told the management EXACTLY what I thought of their unprofessional and childish behaviour. I got a better job after that, now I'm studying again. And it felt SOOO incredibly satisfying telling those fat NUMs what I thought of them!!
The only reason we let people get away with being rude, is that WE TOLERATE THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody else will! You are a professional also, so tell this preceptor to start acting like one, not like spoiled, uppity, little madams who think they know everything. If you come across as being a strong person, people will respect you more.

I think you need to decide if this is a hill you want to die on though. If she is only temporarily working with this woman and will soon be on her own, and away, is it worth the trouble this could cause in the long run. Maybe if management was empathetic and supportive. It would totally suck to talk to this woman and then have it blow up in your face.

lrobinson5 · Jun 25, 2011

What a bitter, miserable person. I wouldn't let ANY of what she says get to you. She obviously is horrible to everyone on the floor, and she extends that to you as well. You have had numerous other positive experiences, so don't let her take those away from you!

sweetnepenthe · Jun 25, 2011

If someone asks " didnt they teach you anything " , you could answer " they taught me many things, but this wasn't one of them-- I would appreciate your showing me".