Things people say coming out of anaesthetic

[frellyou]

I had my wisdom teeth out on Friday, and when I came too the anaesthetist told me I'd been 'showing him some affection with my fingernails'. :imbar I don't even know what he meant because I couldn't talk properly and then they put the oxygen mask on me to shut me up. I hope it was something innocent, that table is pretty much on groin level . He was quite dishy too!

Since then I've been comforting myself with the thought that the staff had probably heard worse things from patients. So, what's the funniest thing you've heard from someone coming out from under anaesthetic?

[LovingLearning]

Coming out of a D&C procedure, I apparently thought people were killing me...and took out a nurse fighting back. I had been crying from the pain while I was waking up, and was all stuffy nosed. I had on an o2 mask...I recall the mask over my face, hands holding the mask on, and flailing about screaming NO!!!! and fighting for all I was worth.

As I slowly regained sensibility, I realized the lady next to me was praying the Hail Mary, and I had 5 nurses on me...one on each leg, one on each arm, and one at my head. Which of course scared me even more...one nurse finally realized what was setting me off (the mask), and took it off; this calmed me immediately, as I didn't feel like someone was trying to smother me.

The worst part is that I'm a blackbelt, and apparently had developed some responses it doesn't take conscious effort to employ...once I was fully awake, I noticed one nurse sitting down at the station my bed faced, with a coldpak to her jaw. I had kicked her smack in the side of the face, and knocked her back.

I felt horrible. I still feel horrible. No one blamed me, and everyone understood...I even sent flowers to the nurse I kicked...but I still feel so rotten. And this was YEARS ago...

Best-

Lovin Learning

[twistedpupchaser]

In recovery after my first ACL reconstruction I turned to the nurse and started giving instructions about my care. "Dont worry about the bloody icepack, just strap the flaming thing and let me get back on the field. Hurry up woman! can't you see my team needs me out there!" I used slightly stronger language than flaming and bloody. My girlfriend sitting next to me in recovery told my coach who gave me a special trophy to honour my dedication to the team at that years presentation dinner.

[Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN]

My husband clearly remembers a naked nurse on rollerskates carrying a plate of keilbasa in the room with him during his cardiac cath. He was in there for almost 9 hours (having an ablation too) - and I was getting regular updates from another nurse. She kept telling me that he was fine, rather chatty and that he must really like redheads. The wheeled him out and he blurts out the naked nurse story complete with physical description (no vulgar details though) and sure enough, the circulating nurse was a statuesque redhead. Poor woman looked so embarassed. My husband really doesn't care and feels no mortification since he kept telling the very nice woman "no, not you... someone else...I swear!!" - he thinks it's hysterical - just like him asking me to jump onto the stretcher with him in recovery and give him some "attention" while not realizing his folks were standing outside the curtain. "Your parents want to see you first"... "They can wait. I won't be long..."

Blee

[ShayRN]

- just like him asking me to jump onto the stretcher with him in recovery and give him some "attention" while not realizing his folks were standing outside the curtain. "Your parents want to see you first"... "They can wait. I won't be long..."

Blee

LMAO! Beverage alert, please!

I swear cradle to the grave, do you men learn this in utero?

A co-worker once told me about an elderly gentleman that they THOUGHT was in a coma. She had brought sissors to cut off his ID band that was tight and was going to put in a new foley. She layed the sissors on the bed and started preping him for the procedure when he sat straight up and screamed "DON'T CUT IT OFF!!!"

[grandkids4]

I worked in the PACU at a small surgical center, and I had a a kid about 19, while he was there he grabbed my hand and kept saying " i am so drunk, don't tell my parents I had this party while they were gone."

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

when i had my wisdom teeth out, my then-husband picked me up and drove me to the uw campus, saying he needed to "pick up some books." he left me alone in the car with my tyelenol #3 and disappeared for a couple of hours. this was in the days before cell phones, so i couldn't call him to please come take me home. the weather was getting increasingly nasty and he wasn't coming back and i was in pain, and nauseated from the drugs -- somehow it seemed like a good idea to drive myself home.

as i was driving myself down the lakeside drive, i noticed a tree limb flying across the road followed by what looked like a good sized tree. in my rearview mirror, i could see the docks on the lake flying up in the air and twisting into neat spirals. i thought it was so cool! in retrospect, it was probably extremely foolish to be driving an itty bitty honda civic around in a tornado, but truthfully, i didn't notice the tornado at the time. i just thought it was really cool that the docks were flying up in the air and twisting into spirals.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I distinctly recall berating the ICU nurse for not following hospital protocol and giving me Phenergan IV straight up. Except that I was not at my hospital, I was at a different hospital and who knows what their protocol was. I think I even testily asked her how long she'd been a nurse, and didn't she keep up with her education, that she didn't know that.

As she gave it, I commented (still under loads of anesthesia and pain meds) on the fact that despite what I had read about IV Phenergan burning, I felt nothing. Even a little numb. That was surprising, I said.

Duh.

[Anxious Patient]

Wow, I hope my nurses or doctors don't let me know I made an @$$ of myself while under. I don't have a problem that caretakers get a chuckle privately or on forums like this at patient antics, but I would be very disappointed if they, my friends or family would feel it's OK to embarrass me to my face just for a laugh.

When I'm in pain or scared after an operation, my sense of humor is zero. I only want TLC.

:paw:

[jstbreathe]

These are so funny!

My first EGD, I was being waken up by a nurse calling me the wrong name! When I corrected her, all I heard was her walking off!

My second EGD, (I now know) my IV blew, I woke up fighting my dr and nurses during the procedure. I think I hit my dr! It took him about an hour to come out and tell me what he found. And, then he had attitude!! LOL!

And, when I had my wisdom teeth pulled...when surgery was done, my husband walked in and asked if I had been crying....My make up had run all down my face!!!! Wonder what happened there???!!!

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

When my honey had a vasectomy, I came into recovery to sit with him and he started ranting loudly how his doctor was well endowed and should never wear pants that tight. He went on to say how the nurses must love working with him all day. He kept saying how disgusting this doctor looked with his tight scrubs on and how big he was. I was laughing so hard and just kept trying to get him to eat crackers and drink. The nurses were cracking up as well. I finally had to get up and pull the curtain.

In his defense, the doc really did wear his scrub pants way too tight and yes, you could see everything he was born with!

To this day, he gets embarassed when I tell people. He has no memory of it at all.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I had an endoscopy with dilaudid and versed, I think. When I came out I couldn't stop throwing up, and remember feeling like I just came from space and an alien gave me a message I had to tell the "earthlings" and I couldn't remember what it was! I started crying saying everyone was gonna die and it would be my fault.

They tried to test my blood sugar, apparently, and I screamed at them to "stop attacking me!"

I also was apparently asking for my dad (who was in the waiting room) to come back and stay with me, then when he got there, said, "Who let that jerk back here?"

I had a patient who was waking up from CS for a bone marrow bx. She would wake up, say, "I'm not sleeping! I can hear you! I said I wanted to be sleeping for it!" We kept trying to tell her it was over and it was okay if she woke up now. She kept yelling at us to make sure she was sleeping before we started and we could not get her to comprehend that it was over.

Someone I work with said when her brother woke up from having his wisdom teeth out his mom asked him how he was feeling and he said, "I've done **** way worse than this before."

[HeartsOpenWide, RN]

I was strange after I got my wisdom teeth (all SIX) taken out too; at least according to my mom who drove me. She said that I was telling the nurse/assistant how gross it is that your parents have sex!

My mom told me that when my dad had to have his nose reset he got anesthesia and when she went to see him he pointed over in the corner and said really meanly "you tell that nurse to leave!"...there was no one else in the room...