That is IT; have had it with nursing...I'm going insane!

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

OK, now it's MY TURN to rant uncontrollably!

Had to go to a shift today. The agency that I work for has a policy that they can't say anything to you (it's in our contract we sign) or fine you, if you can't go to a shift. Anyway, I had been cleaning & packing to move in a few days. Must have done too much (didn't think I did?) because later on, my right shoulder muscle started really throbbing & was really tight; uncomfortable & annoying & painful. So I do the right thing by me & by safety standards for any patients I may have come in contact with - I ring & say I don't think I will be safe enough to go to my shift. No problems, I apologise, then hang up. 2 seconds (literally) the phone rings, and one of the coordinators is saying I have to get a medical clearance; she was not friendly. I say yeh, OK, if I can get into a doctors, which I did manage to do. I didn't think much of it earlier.

But now later, I have been sitting here & stewing. I have NEVER called off (or called in sick) for a shift near the beginning of a shift, unless I AM SICK or have a very, very good reason. The only other time I called in sick was when I had sudden, severe gastro symptoms (which has never happened to me before).

What do these employers WANT from us!?? They literally SUCK US DRY of our humanity! They will tell you any old BS to get you into their company. I worked my BUTT OFF to get through study & exhausted myself - literally - I was ++ sick for about 4 weeks. I worked AND studied, which nobody out there wants to do anymore, especially young people, judging from the posts we get here. I moved to another state where I didn't know anyone & got the experience I needed. I didn't have to come back here, but family reasons etc compelled me to. Now I thought this agency was different from all the others, what a laugh!

I have been sitting here REALLY thinking: what do we REALLY get from nursing? I no longer have friends call me to ask me to events or BBQs etc; heck, my own brother hardly bothers calling me because he knows I'm always working. Nursing is VERY isolating & anti-social. I work long & weird hours, & travel quite a bit to get to work... STILL. I feel like I have sacrificed literally EVERYTHING for my career - friends, intimate relationships - & where has it got me? Life long study debts to get another qualification that will probably only earn me a few thousand more after HIGH taxes in my country. I STILL work shift work & am really disliking it now (it never bothered me much before, as it was part of getting experience). I don't tell my family nursing tales anymore, because they don't believe me so I shut up. I changed to only do afternoon shifts now, thinking that would help. It has mucked up all my sleeping - I can hardly get out of bed the next day before 10.30am because I'm so tired, I can't move. I have severe indigestion (on meds now) have had bloods done, nothing showed. I take a multivitamin every day. My eating has gone out the window; I either overeat (before I go to work as I may not get a break for a long time), or I just skip meals now - eating & cooking seems like too much bother. Study is just out and out boring me now, I don't have the mindset for it. I compare my friends to myself on Facebook - when I used to have an account. They are all happy, married, travelling overseas & HAVE A LIFE! The thought of getting up early to exercise (not that I have any spare money at the moment for the gym), just shatters me - I just can't do it now. And when I do try to exercise, I don't enjoy it now.

I've HAD IT with nursing! Is is THE most life-draining, soul-destroying, anti-social, bull**** job I have ever done in my life. We are not treated as professionals, just an accessory that has been tacked on to the doctor. You always see TV shows about great doctors & new doctors etc but never about nurses; have you noticed that? (Oh unless you count cameo stories woven around nurses on shows like ER).

We are not heroes and never will be. Nursing is a wasted career. It is a waste of time and money and energy. I so wish I could have done something in history where I could have travelled, & actually have the TIME to meet other, professional people, but am too old now. I find, personally, many nurses don't have time to meet others, don't want to associate with other nurses because it's just too depressing to listen to their whining, or don't make the effort to socialise. The number of times I have tried to start up support/coffee groups to meet other nurses, well; I can't count them now.

It's just started raining again outside now. Even the weather has gone bad again! I really feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity trying to keep this 'life' together doing nursing as a so-called career. I feel it has all been such a waste of a life. I wasted my youth being conned by people saying 'nursing is a brilliant career; you will always have work; you will always have security.' I know people who work/have worked in supermarkets who have a better and more secure career than a RN.

Please...if you're young & reading this, PLEASE DO NOT go into nursing. It is too late for me & I'm in a huge rut, but it's not too late for you. Choose a career that will let you travel, where you have normal or near normal working hours and where you make decent money to live on, if not heaps of money. Shift work is not worth your sanity, trust me.

I feel old, creaky, cynical, and used up by the BS nursing managers & lecturers who lied to us all about EVERYTHING to do with nursing.

It's now my goal to try & convince others on here to not take up nursing or to get out. And I am getting out; don't know if I'll study next year but I WILL get out into something else.

Stay tuned for more of this saga! Thanks for reading..... :)

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

I don't think I know a nurse who has been around for a while who could not write the same things I just read. Everyone deserves a vent about this. That being said:

Keep this piece and read it in a week, a month and then see if it is all the same. You could feel the same or perhaps you could look back and say it was a very sucky day and everything hit at once. There may be redeeming qualities in nursing for you. If not, get out. No patient deserves being cared for by a nurse in such a circumstance.

This could be about depression, or burn out or many other things. Point is the complaints need to have a plan of action to make things different for you. It may be a change in career. It might also be a change in some of your behaviors. How much are you working? What is so important in non-work hours that you cannot do those things you like? What can be changed so your life is better? If you do not explore these questions it is likely that any career change will bring you with it and also the same behaviors that you hate now.

I agree that managers are crazy to ask for a med. excuse for 1 day absence. If you have a contract is that included in it? When can a manager demand such forms? Unless you have a poor attendance record you might want to talk with a shop steward about this. If your attendance is poor, look at you first. Why are you out? Again, burnout is a real possibility.

Don't just sit and complain. Take charge of your life.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

Um....:hug:?

I got to that point in computers, where I was miserable every single day, to the point where I didn't want to get out of bed to go to work, just all the back stabbing, the complaining, the constant worry that your job would be outsourced, downsized, "right sized"or there would be a "force correction," all of which meant that you'd be out of a job.

So, I made a radical change. I still see the back stabbing, complaining, whinning, etc., and now I have the added treat of possibly coming down with HIV, HepC, meningitis, and a host of infectious diseases if something goes wrong with a combative patient (nothing makes your shift like being told you have a HepC pos patient who's demented and likes to bite).

I came to terms with it. People are going to disappoint you, drive you nuts, and hurt your feelings. I can't change that. But I can keep their stupidity and ill manners, and "lack of good home training" from making me nuts. It's a job. You are paid to be there for X hours. Go in, do your job, and leave. Those special days where you really feel like maybe, maybe you helped someone one are the special days, most days you just grunt thru.

I have a yellow post-it note on the mirror in my bathroom. It says, "nothing that happens at work is personal unless you let it be." It's kept me from running screaming down the interstate many a night....

[kool-aide, RN]

Do you feel better now? Not trying to be condescending or rude, but have you seen a counselor? I feel like that could be helpful for you--you seem to have bottled up a lot. Please take time for yourself.

[MomRN0913]

I agree with you, totally.

My first job was pretty reasonable at first, lots of nurses on the unit with families, pregnant, young kids.... very sympathetic, helpful understanding.

But after time that went away. And it was never abused in the first place.

Then they short staffed our ICU on a regular basis. Running around like a mad person for 14 hours 9that's what the shift ended up being.

You call the Nursing supervisor obviously very ill, and they tell you to take some tylenol and call in a hour. No, I am calling out!

My NM was good, I called out very sick (reccurent tonsilitis, I couldn't speak) begged me to come in and agreed not to float me to ER holding (my turn) instead I got the 2 hardest patients on the floor. Ended up in the ER at 4am during my shift, severe dehydration and tachycardia....

Why do we do this, I don't know.

That's why i have chosen to move out of the bedside.

I am divorced with a young child, I am not killing myself anymore.

So, I would look into exiting bedside care.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Amen to that, sister!

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies!

@ aknottedyarn: I am VERY conscientious re calling in sick for work. I have rarely called in the last few hours before a shift - I only do it due to patient safety & when I am really sick. I never just call in because I feel like it (OK...maybe once!) I need the money, as we all do. But to ask for a sick note for ONE DAY OFF, when you're casual?? I know the manager of this agency & she really tries to care for her nurses & not **** them off. It's better for me to call in sick - even an hour before shift starts - than put patients at risk. And I will be reinforcing that tomorrow with the agency - I'm certainly not a shrinking violet when it comes to telling people when I'm displeased or annoyed.

And it's more than being burned out. I think that phrase gets bandied about too much. Burned out is when you want to slit your wrists, in my opinion. I have nursed patients who are so burned out, they can't even get out of bed in the morning and have no, or very little, will to live. I am not at that stage....but I'm getting there.

I went into psych study as I thought this was my passion in nursing - I'd worked in nearly every area & thought psych is it. Now, I just see reflections of how ***** up our society is; no one copes, so they take drugs/alcohol & beat up their kids or the wife. Nobody takes responsibility for anything anymore and to be honest, that REALLY bothers me. We aren't allowed to say to patients 'this is your fault, you must take responsibility' as it's seen as being too harsh & will tip them over the edge.

And nerdonurse: I passionately wanted a CAREER, not just a job. And I did many hours of research & interviewing of people before going back into nursing when I was older. But I realised many of them just worked part-time and not that many odd hours (they had kids so had to fit work hours in with them).

Somebody older on here said that when she was younger, nurses were respected by the community; this sadly doesn't seem to be the case anymore. And the days where I have felt satisfaction from helping people are few & far between. You are lucky if you even get a thank you from many patients, let alone doctors or anyone else.

I'm just so tired of fighting it all & trying my best to make a better world, when I don't see myself even making a dent most of the time. It gets very disappointing after a while.

Wish I coudl afford a holiday! *sigh*

[Altra, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, OP.

I think that just about every adult on the planet must have occasional "I hate my life!" days. If this feeling has been prolonged, however, you might consider that some correction is needed whether that is a job change, some time with a trusted confidante to talk through various problems, or some other change in your course.

Yes, it is demeaning to have an excellent work attendance record and then be required to provide "proof" of a 1-day illness ... but your incident is not unique, and it happens in all industries, not just nursing.

If you feel you are "always working" ... you might examine just exactly how many hours a week you are working, and if it's greater than 40 or so ... only you know if your finances actually require that or if you are able to cut back. If you have a financial need for a significant amount of overtime, I'm guessing that that would be the case regardless of whether you were a nurse or a bartender.

If you are not working much in excess of 40 hours weekly but still perceive that you are always at work, it's possible that work conflicts are indeed occupying too much of your mental and emotional time when you are actually off.

I hope this is just a temporary bump in the road.

[DragonPurr]

I realized early on that I didn't have the personality to be a hospital nurse. The politics and employment environment of which you have described just didn't mesh with my own philosophy on employer/employee relationships. I did try to get my 1 year experience in with the local hospital, but after 9 months I had to resign due to husband going overseas and childcare issues (couldn't find babsitting services for overnight shift). That's when I found an opportunity in public health and let me tell you it was the best thing ever. I love public health nursing and the people I work with are amazing. I have found a place where I get to utilize my nursing skills in a positive manner and also shine as an employee.

Maybe you need to pursue a different nursing outlet. I don't know, just thinking. I wish the best for you, I so understand where you are coming from.

Good luck to you.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

I agree with you, totally.

My first job was pretty reasonable at first, lots of nurses on the unit with families, pregnant, young kids.... very sympathetic, helpful understanding.

But after time that went away. And it was never abused in the first place.

Then they short staffed our ICU on a regular basis. Running around like a mad person for 14 hours 9that's what the shift ended up being.

You call the Nursing supervisor obviously very ill, and they tell you to take some tylenol and call in a hour. No, I am calling out!

My NM was good, I called out very sick (reccurent tonsilitis, I couldn't speak) begged me to come in and agreed not to float me to ER holding (my turn) instead I got the 2 hardest patients on the floor. Ended up in the ER at 4am during my shift, severe dehydration and tachycardia....

Why do we do this, I don't know.

That's why i have chosen to move out of the bedside.

I am divorced with a young child, I am not killing myself anymore.

So, I would look into exiting bedside care.

Goodness, ending up in the ER during your shift! I hope they appreciate you after that.

I did go to the Dr today. I asked for stronger anti-inflammatories for my shoulder as I said the OTC Ibuprofen I was taking wasn't helping. She condesecndingly (I thought) told me give it time to work - as if I haven't had it before - and to take paracetamol too, which I had. I did not ask for stronger pain killers at all, as they would bomb me out too much to work. We are all treated like druggies now, no doctors give you anything for fear of being sued.

I still contend that bedside nursing is soul-destroying; don't care what the arguments are. People suck the life out of you as a nurse, like some sort of bed ridden, invisible vampires.

And I can't afford counselling, that is very expensive over here.

[Her Own Catalyst RN]

I'm sorry, I've felt/feel the same way after just 3 years of bedside. Now I'm working as an informatics nurse - and I'm not so sure that's any better!

[VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN]

No words of advice, just a big (((((hug))))) to you and let you know that I care. I am very thankful that we have allnurses - this place is a sanctuary when we're weary and beat up and need a place to vent, a friendly word of encouragement or support, or just a shoulder to cry on.