ROFL, emtb2rn - reminds me of a recurring joke with a few of our staff, discussing the event that we ever lost our jobs and licenses and had to take up "exotic dance" to pay the bills. #1 stage name? "Delada," * of course.
* Say it fast and it sounds an awful lot like a very well-known trade name for hydromorphone...
That said, on to the Resuscitation League:
"The Cardioverter" - able to psychically convert any arrhythmia to NSR by staring at the patient's rhythm strip. "A-fib, begone!"
"Easy Breather" - with powers over ventilation and perfusion. Can tag-team with Electrolytra to get your patient out of respiratory acidosis. "A little BiPAP, a little bicarb, and we're in business."
"Electrolytra" - able to control electrolyte disturbances. Magic word: "KAYEXALATE!"
"He-Mostasis Man" - can use his "Clotting Factors" to stop bleeding and reverse coagulopathies. "DIC is no match for me!"
Opposed by the Crash Crew:
"The Edematous Flash" - can flood lungs with a single glance. "She was fine three minutes ago, I swear!"
"Triaginator" - ties up your triage station for hours gabbing about ingrown toenails while 35 patients wait in chairs. Usually works in tandem with The Silent MI.
"The Silent MI" - Alter ego: Joe Papercut. Sits in your waiting room for hours with a chief complaint of nothing, before magically transforming into a full-blown resuscitation case.
"Dr. Dismal" - can psychically erase physician orders for antibiotics, fluids, pain management and diets, thereby leaving your patients miserable and you with no recourse.
...This is entirely too much fun.