Ramblings of an Inactive Mind

  1. [font='comic sans ms']i was thinking about how a status symbol of today [font='comic sans ms']is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. [font='comic sans ms']i can't afford one. so, i'm wearing my garage door opener.

    you know, i spent a fortune on deodorant

    [font='comic sans ms']before i realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    i was thinking about old age and decided thatit's
    [font='comic sans ms']when you still have something on the ball, [font='comic sans ms']but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

    i thought about making a fitness movie,

    [font='comic sans ms']for folks my age, and call it "pumping rust."

    [font='comic sans ms']i have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. [font='comic sans ms']that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

    i know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
    [font='comic sans ms']"oh, have you got a cat?"
    [font='comic sans ms']just once i want to say, "no, it's for company!"

    employment application blanks always ask

    [font='comic sans ms']'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'
    [font='comic sans ms']i think you should write, "a good doctor!"

    why do they put pictures of criminals up in the post office?

    [font='comic sans ms']
    [font='comic sans ms']what are we supposed to do -- write to these men?
    [font='comic sans ms']why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps [font='comic sans ms']so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? [font='comic sans ms']or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

    i was thinking about how people seem to read the
    [font='comic sans ms']bible a whole lot more as they get older.
    [font='comic sans ms']then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
    [font='comic sans ms']
    [font='comic sans ms']as for me, i'm just hoping god grades on the curve.
    [font='comic sans ms']
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  2. Visit FranEMTnurse profile page

    About FranEMTnurse, LPN, EMT-I Pro

    Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 14,785; Likes: 7,997

    9 Comments

  3. by   tryingtomakeit
    You got my day off to a start with a smile. Thank you!
  4. by   RNsRWe
    smiles!
  5. by   pickledpepperRN
    Laughing as I read these to my husband,
    He asked me to make a copy so he can get his friends laughing.

    THANKS!
  6. by   Drysolong
    Funny!!!!
  7. by   suzy253
    Great Fran!!!....as usual.
  8. by   banditrn
    Oh YEAH!! I think I'm working on the 'Furniture Disease'!!:chuckle :chuckle

    Wonder if I could use that as an excuse to call in? "I won't be in tonite - I'm having an exacerbation of my Furniture Disease!"
  9. by   sirI
    Grade on the curve is right.

    SOOO good to see ya, poopsy!!!!!
  10. by   weetziebat
    Great ones, Fran!
    I'd like to put out a litter box, just so I could say that to someone.
  11. by   prmenrs
    Those are excellent, Poopsie!

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