Questionable Behavior: Reports and Write Ups

[SisterofMary]

Last night, during my shift, I was having a conversation with a unit clerk over borrowing some equipment from her unit. The unit clerk said something to me that I believe to be inappropriate and unprofessional. It wasn't an attack directed at me, per say, but it was still not appropriate a remark to make in the work place.

I was fuming. I didn't confront her in the moment because I thought I would say things I'd regret. Later on, I figured I would speak to her one-on-one but her shift was over and she already left for the night.

Twelve hours later and I'm still upset with that comment. I would like to report it but I'm hesitant. I don't want to come off as "that" person. I don't want to go to H.R. but I was thinking of e-mailing her manager.

Just advice on how to go about the situation. Do I e-mail my manager? E-mail her manager and C.C. my manager?

Any thoughts are appreciated.

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

Both of you are professionals. It is professional courtesy to address an issue first with the person who made the comment. Since we do not know what was said, it is hard to tell what your course of action should be. However, you should talk with the person who made the comment. You could start off by saying... "The other night when I came to borrow "X" piece of equipment, I interpreted your saying as this. " Wait for response. "This comment made me feel ______"

Wait for response.

Depending on the response is how you could procede.

If you just go to her manager, it could easily turn in to a he said she said type incident. Maybe the unit clerk took your questioning to be offensive or harsh as well. It could very easily be a misunderstanding on both ends.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

It's hard to advise you without knowing what the unit clerk said.

While I agree that most moments of perceived incivility should be addressed directly with the person you take issue with, there are some things that should be escalated right away and there are some comments that are best ignored.

If the comment was offensive because of tone or facial expression, it should be ignored unless you see a pattern or it is repeated. Then confront gently and privately.

If the comment was a direct threat or a racial, ethnic or sexual slur it should be escalated and you should not confront the perpetrator.

Other than that, confront gently. What did you mean when you said xyz? Is a good way to open.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

I realllly wanna know what was said...

[MunoRN, RN]

Without knowing what was actually said it's impossible to just assume that you were in the right, it's also possible that there was nothing inappropriate about what the UC said and that you just took it the wrong way. So if you asking if anyone who feels they received an inappropriate answer or comment from a coworker should assume the person making the comment should be fired then no, there is no basis for that assumption.

[Jendes1979]

I'd follow the chain of command and first speak to her about your concerns before running straight to management to fix it for you.

[Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN]

If you were not in danger,nor any patient in danger then speak to this person first and that's it,end of story.

The problem solving you were mulling surprises me in its retaliatory tones,this is what we are taught in school but it is wrong ,if we are all going to work together.

Squabbles between Rns and ward clerks have a way of going very sour quickly and escalating to HR where both of you will be given a warning.This is just like family court,you will not get any real satisfaction,just grief and worries when you should be worrying about patients.

You have been given good advice on this forum I hope you follow it.

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

The last time I "reported" someone, (trying to get a policy changed, nothing against the person) I severely, severely regretted it. It backfired tremendously. No good came of it and looking back on it wasn't a safety issue or even a major issue. Now with experience I see it was not worth making waves about. If there is any chance you can directly deal with this person, do it. Just say "I notice you made [this statement] and to be honest with you, it made me uncomfortable."

[SisterofMary]

So if you asking if anyone who feels they received an inappropriate answer or comment from a coworker should assume the person making the comment should be fired then no, there is no basis for that assumption.

Fired! No way. That's above and beyond. No need to go there.

[SisterofMary]

I do appreciate the advice. After the first two commentators (and some sleep) I decided not to report anything at all. Partly because the opportunity to confront her was lost and secondly because I don't want to deal with the situations further. I do agree that confronting/discussing with the person directly is the best course of action.

I don't agree on comments stating people are "easily offended." Not all things can or should be "brushed off." I do believe people have a duty to act professional and shouldn't make comments that are insulting/rude to people and that can lead to hostile work environments. And I do believe the some things should be escalated, esp. if confronting the person can lead to further disagreement or a potential "fight." Not everyone is agreeable to being communicated with and they see it as a "challenge."

Anyway, thanks for the advice. Signing off.

[JKL33]

Not all things can or should be "brushed off."

Not all, just many (and maybe most). And I don't brush them off - I've just decided they have nothing to do with me; they fall under the category of OPPs and I refuse to waste my time or invest my emotions in that.

I do believe people have a duty to act professional and shouldn't make comments that are insulting/rude to people and that can lead to hostile work environments.

Someone else's duty to act a certain way has nothing to do with me. It's their duty and they are responsible for it. I reject "200% accountability" and any management idea that I could ever be responsible for a peer over whom I have no control.

Hostile work environments are created through a lot of means. I've never seen it get a foothold in places where employees are treated well.

An insult from peers/coworkers is what you make of it. I've been so rarely insulted by co-workers I can't even remember a time. Maybe they mean to insult me from time to time, I wouldn't know.

[SisterofMary]

Not all, just many (and maybe most). And I don't brush them off - I've just decided they have nothing to do with me; they fall under the category of OPPs and I refuse to waste my time or invest my emotions in that.

Agree to disagree. I think it is subjective and up to the situation. There are a lot of things that can be excused but not everything.

[nightlightnurseaide]

Talk to her manager without mentioning names to see what she thinks personally and professionally