Pathetically Unethical!!

  1. Get this! I work at a hospital and about a year ago had a patient who was young and found to have cancer. To make a long story short, she died of colon cancer and her death was HORRIBLE! The care she got stunk! I thought we were in a time where people didn't have to suffer the way she did. I loved her as a person. She was so upbeat and we had a lot in common. I'm guilty of being overly caring about her. I sent her off to surgery when she thought it was to be something minor (although my thought was that it was going to be much as more and it was) and when she found out how bad things were, she was confident she'd fight it and win. Her battle was lost nine months later.

    I felt like a bad nurse as I was there for her in the beginning, lost contact when she left the hospital, but then near the end, she deteriorated so much, I had a hard time not wanting to cry the few times she did. But as a nurse, you have to be strong!!

    Now the unethical part! One of the nurses who seemed overly concerned near the end, still sees the patient's husband. She broke up with her boyfriend and apparently cried her heart out to him that she had no money. He stopped by the hospital and gave her $1,000.00 cash!! She was overheard telling a friend of hers who works at the hospital. Well, you can say there's no proof, but she was heard stating this and she is and was a snake. She even flirted big time with the doctors of this patient. There was rumor something was going on between her and the docs. You'd hope docs would be smart enough to see through this! I'm just disgusted when I she took money from the patient's husband. While she acted so concerned about our patient, she really was putting up a show for the husband. I didn't trust her and now to think she has taken money from this man who didn't have much to begin with sickens me. Apparently nothing was done about this. Our new director is nice, but likes to look the other way. What are your thoughts nurses!!!????
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    About lisa41rn

    Joined: Mar '05; Posts: 166; Likes: 42

    18 Comments

  3. by   kstec
    Even if she never gets held accountable for her actions, I thoroughly believe what goes around, comes around. Hopefully one day she'll get hers, which won't be very nice.
  4. by   Tweety
    I agree that she's pathetic.
  5. by   GingerSue
    why did he give her $1000?
    Did he give this voluntarily?
  6. by   Kyrshamarks
    best thing to do is MYOB!!! Things like innuendo and rumors can come back and bite you on the butt.
  7. by   Captain Tripps
    Hmm, I was always curious what became of my ex.

    Seriously though does your facility not have a policy regarding gifts from patients or patients families. I mean this goes way beyond flowers, a card or cookies. This seems to be the reason those policies are written.

    As far as what comes around, what would be appropriate for this woman?

    Ebola?
    Fishing with Scott Peterson?
    The T Virus? (video game reference)
    An interview with Geraldo?

    Peace,
    Tripps
  8. by   SuesquatchRN
    Quote from Kyrshamarks
    best thing to do is MYOB!!! Things like innuendo and rumors can come back and bite you on the butt.
    :yeahthat:
  9. by   P_RN
    Quote from Suesquatch
    :yeahthat:
    I second Suesquatch
  10. by   Dalzac
    Hey I know that chick.!!!!!!!!!!!!1 not really but the more women in nursing that you work with there is always one that is just like that. I have met 4 of them. They got into nursing to find a Doctor. and yes it always blows up in their face It's karma and it comes back on them.
  11. by   jojotoo
    Quote from Captain Tripps

    As far as what comes around, what would be appropriate for this woman?

    Ebola?
    Fishing with Scott Peterson?
    The T Virus? (video game reference)
    An interview with Geraldo?

    Peace,
    Tripps


    ROFLMAO!!!!
  12. by   Tweety
    Quote from Kyrshamarks
    best thing to do is MYOB!!! Things like innuendo and rumors can come back and bite you on the butt.
    I started to say something similar about all the rumors, "she was overheard saying........" and things like that.

    Best to take a look at what's fact. What needs to be addressed, if anything, and let go of the rest. Definitely sounds like a whole lot of gossip is going on and the op would do best to stay out of that.
  13. by   lisa41rn
    I believe in the saying "what goes around, comes around." Someday she will have to pay for her sneaky ways. But to take money from a man who has a young daughter and didn't have much to begin with is soooo wrong! As far as MYOB, that sounds great, but when she was confronted, she admitted it to others. Apparently, she figured those she admitted to, weren't able to do anything to her so she didn't care. I DEFINITELY believe in MYOB, but this is beyond something you should just sweep under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. It makes the hospital look bad and our reputation as nurses look bad. Our hospital does have a policy of not taking gifts, but this nurse is not the type to care. I truly believe strong people don't look the other way. If you know of something wrong and it may hurt others, you need to be strong and have it checked out. If someone didn't do anything wrong, then nothing will happen to them. If they did, they should pay the consequences. Don't be a wimp and always use that MYOB theory. It's almost hipocritical to think a nurse would take from someone she knows has so little. By the way, she got her new apartment and bought all brand new furniture. She told ME how thrilled she was.
  14. by   TrudyRN
    This is probably more common than we realize and I have to admit that I somewhat question the stern attitude that we, as a profession, take on things like this. People are sexual beings and money is a powerful motivator.

    We could conjecture all day long about why the spouse gave her money, if he really gave her money, should he have given it if he gave it.

    Really, what it comes down to is that it was his to give if he wanted to and really did give it. What she did to earn it - well, that's another topic.

    I'd say that we need to be 1000% pure in our relationships with patients and family members. We need to be able to live with ourselves and with our God and realize that our reputation is easily destroyed, almost never repairable (if that's a word).

    Without solid proof, leave it alone. If you feel the need to speak to her about it, I guess you will find the time and the way to do so but be very, very careful. She will not likely respond positively unless approached in a totally non-judgemental way. She will have to be the one to realize her error and admit it and that's just not very likely to happen, especially if you jump on her with both feet.

    I'm sorry you lost a patient with whom you really connected. That is painful but time will help heal the wound.

    As for what goes around comes around - maybe it does but somehow I never get to see it when it gets here. Don't worry, everything will work out. If she really is concentrating more on money and relationships than on patient care, someday she will encounter a boss who lowers the boom on her. Although in honesty I must say I see nothing wrong with wanting to marry a man with money (doctor). Must we all aspire to poverty? Is there really anything wrong with meeting a mate where we work? This happens all the time, too. Should it be with a married patient or patient's spouse? No. But we all have heard of cases where the staff fall in love with a patient and they get hitched and are happy together. What is so unethical about that?

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