Nurse fantasies

  1. What is your favorite nurse fantasy?? Come on now--get your mind out of the gutter. I mean the ultimate time, place, patient type that you would love to care for? The sky is the limit---there is no health insurance, you have no budget woes, you can chose to work at the bedside or from home on a computer. The hours are yours to do with as you will, the pay is whatever you think is necessary. What would you do?????

    Here is my ultimate nurse (nursing) fantasy: I want to work 9:30am to 2:30pm m,w,th. I am the nurse who screens the new residents to decide if they can step onto our unit. If they pass the test, they will then have to work with a nurse exclusively for the first 3 months of their medical school training. If they are at a satisfactory level by a nurses standard they can continue on to be a doctor. Our patients on this unit, can have a variety of problems (no cardiac as we don';t like to deal with chest pain)

    There will be one nurse for each 2 patients. If one of the patients starts going bad then the other patient will be covered by the residents. (as they can deftly change an occupied bed after a 'humongous' brown alert). We will be able to sit and talk with our patients and if they chose to give us some food for our care--it will come with a pill that blocks all the fat and calories from our size 5 waistlines.

    Well I have to leave my fantasy for now--I could tell you all about my real life experience--but I chose to sleep with my fantasy as I have to enter the nonfictional world at 0700 which is now only 6 hours away.

    Dream a little dream with me...:kiss
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    About zumalong

    Joined: Jul '01; Posts: 395; Likes: 56
    Specialty: 22 year(s) of experience in surgical, neuro, education


  3. by   JeannieM
    Let's see...can't make this too easy, or it wouldn't be any fun! OK, I'm at a wonderful, sweet-natured little hospital where I'm working with staff members doing education on evidence-based nursing standards that come from research performed by bedside nurses who actually know what a patient looks like! My upper level management recognizes the value of nursing, rewards us with generous salaries, and sends us on exotic vacations when we look too fatigued or start to burn out. All of our patients either make full recoveries and leave singing our praises or else die peacefully with their loved ones at their sides. Our multidisciplinary peers, including physicians, work collaboratively with us and respect us for our intelligence and contributions. And if any of our patients makes poo, a designated "poo patrol" that consists of physicians, managers and peers who have been rude, lazy or obnoxious must come to clean up the mess!
    Great thread idea! :kiss
  4. by   Tephra
    Sheepers... I just want enough frickin pillows without having to steal them from CCU or Dialysis... LOL!

    Oh, and that physicians and families let dying people, well, die, in peace, love, respect, and comfort. Please, please, love your loved ones, all the way, till the end, and let it be sweet.

    Nice thread.
  5. by   Sleepyeyes
    Originally posted by Tephra
    Sheepers... I just want enough frickin pillows without having to steal them from CCU or Dialysis... LOL!

    :chuckle: Good one, Tephra.

    Here's mine, and because I'm getting old and crotchety and feeling like if I don't do it for myself, nobody will, I really and truly am working toward this goal:

    I work Med-Surg/Tele and went back to it because I have this fantasy of doing a couple weeks a year in medical missions. Now, this can be here in the US or overseas--doesn't matter. Operation Blessing is one I was checking out; you can go for cheap, like $700 to Asia, for instance. In most cases, you have to pay your own way. Which means I had to get a decent salary from my regular job.

    One of the big reasons I went back to MS and wanted to learn cardiac stuff is because of that dream. After all, I asked myself one day, how many 3rd world countries really need a good LTC nurse??? No, they need OR and MS and Pedes--and I'm not a Pede nurse.

    This has been a dream of mine since before I became a nurse, when my pastor's wife gave me a book about medical missionaries in China. While I don't have what it takes to be a full-time missionary, I sure wouldn't mind helping out.

    My daughter wants to become a nurse, too. She speaks Spanish. We decided we'd go to Guatamala or one of the Central American countries so she could translate for me the first year she got her license, and we could work together.

    As a mother, I just think that is soooooo awesome that my child would want to work with me!!! :kiss

    ---OK, here's the other part of the fantasy: On Sundays, we go to church. My 12 yo follows The Plan and there I am, in the front row while he preaches the sermon. :chuckle
  6. by   NancyRN
    Last edit by NancyRN on Jun 28, '02
  7. by   live4today
    My nurse fantasy would be that every doctor would change their own patients dressings, document their findings, and write their notes very legibly for us nurses to read when necessary.

    Nurses would receive one hour for all meals I might add...the tab being picked up by the hospitals we work in...eating in a fine dining room with mauves and blues to calm our weariness of the day...tables would have cloth tablecloths and fresh flowers...adding candlelight for any meals served after five p.m. This dining room would be designated for nurses one else allowed unless the nurses care to invite a guests, family, etc.

    Nurses would get a ten minute potty break every two hours, and if 'number two' must be performed...each nurse would get an extended ten minutes...for a total of 20 minutes.

    Nurses would never have to chart again, pass another med, or fetch mundane things for patients, doctors, admins, and family members alike. All nurses would need to do is wave their own personal nursing magic wand and make all these things appear instantly...Wahlah!

    Doctors would be addressed by their first names by all nursing staff just as nurses are addressed by their first names...if we're lucky that is by doctors.

    Nurses would have their own parking garage attached to the hospital so they never have to walk outside...and there would be NO FEES to park in this garage. Security would abound around the clock to ensure our safety at all times.

    Nurses would receive $100,000 for experience less than five years, and once the five year mark is hit, nurses salaries would DOUBLE...earning $200,000/year...with benefits of first rate health/dental/vision coverage completey paid for by the hospitals.

    VACATION TIME, BABY! The BEST part of the benefit package would be each nurse would receive every weekend off...weekend nurses would work the weekends for the workweek staff, and every nurse regardless of when she/he works, would receive 30 days PAID vacation per year...with vacation pay of $1,000.00 TAX FREE!!! Yahooooooooo!!! Yeah!!! :kiss
    Last edit by live4today on Jun 28, '02
  8. by   zudy
    On my fantasy floor, we have high tea every afternoon. We have a lovely tea cart filled with cakes, cookies , tea coffee,for all staff, pts, families, etc. We all take a break, visit with the pts and families, in fact we spend over an hour with them, just checking them out and seeing how they are doing. Nopills, no procedures, just a nice visit.
  9. by   mattsmom81
    Cool thread!!!

    Nurses own and operate independent practice groups like physicians and are 'on staff' at facilities...WE would contract our shiftwork...kinda like our own nurse run/nurse managed agency...'cept NURSE OWNERS (us) profit rather than the owner of the agency.! Other branches of this nurse owned/nurse run business: home care, respite care, health screening/wellness services, etc. I dream of nurses profiting from the hard work of nursing.

    Facility directors, supervisors and administrators are REQUIRED to work 8 hours a week on the floors so they are FORCED to SEE what goes on and what our jobs are really like.

    Love the fantasy about covered parking garages for nurses.....not just docs.....they will be patrolled by REAL armed security guards so we don't have to be afraid....also love administrators relieving nurses for scheduled breaks and meals so we can actually GET breaks....I rarely got one due to poor staffing (also the desire and need to get out with less than 2 hours of OT at the end of my shifts).

    Legally mandated nurse patient ratios....hospitals MUST comply or will be 1) fined by state agencies and 2) be open to lawsuits from consumers and nurses. Mandates are 1:2 in ICU.......1:5 Med Surg. No mandatory overtime is allowed and the FACILITY (not the nurses) is responsible for maintaining safe staffing.

    Normally I like 'less' government but in the hospitals' case they will keep short staffing us and working us to death UNTIL the government makes them stop, IMO.

    Baby docs will be trained to actually appreciate what nurses do and will include us in the care of the patient as a peer rather than an underling. What a wonderful work environment this would be, eh? I did get some doc respect in ICU...we are treated better than many other areas...but TOO MANY docs treat nurses poorly.

    Guess I dream little...why are these things so hard to come by??Most of us just want to be able to do a good job but hospital practices get in our way....

    Neat idea for a thread....I'm still getting into this...I'm off to dreamland and I'll be BACK!
  10. by   bandaidexpert
    You are all dreaming!!! I am with you though!!!!

  11. by   Nurse Ratched
    In my fantasy world, all patients will be able to bathroom themselves, experiencing neither constipation nor diarrhea...

    Paging a doctor to decode his gibberish orders after 5 staff members have scratched their skulls raw over them will be a relic of the past...

    Patients will be admitted in a timely fashion - neither showing up three at once nor all swarming in at shift change....

    All medications will be in the med drawer flawlessly, eliminating the need to specially request them from pharmacy...

    All patients will be issued perfect vasculature for IV starts and blood draws as a prerequisite for admission. Patients will baby said IV sites like they are their firstborn child - IV's that mysteriously "fall out" will be an unknown thing.

    Patient assignments will be perfectly evenly divided, and never again shall the the phrase, "I got the heaviest load" be uttered.

    Great thread idea!
  12. by   adrienurse
    1. no more night shifts
    2. afternoon siestas for nurses
    3. Nurses can take their generousely alloted breaks in a relaxing place where they will receive free massages from scantilly clad men (or women, whatever be the case). there will be low lighting, string quartet hired to play relaxing music and a five star chef hired to make delicious healthy meals for all (no deep fried fish sticks allowed).
    4. Floors will be self-cleaning and no patient will ever find their sleep disturbed by a loud floor polisher.
    5. There would never be any concern over cost of such thing as dressing supplies or meds. A patient would never be denied treatment because the budget could not cover it.
    6. Patients could sleep undisturbed, and never have to be woken up to be washed and dressed at 0530 because day staff would have all the time in the world to properly wash, dress and care for their patients.
    7. LTC nurses work loead would never exceed 5.
    8. Nurses would never be expected to strain their back turning anyone.
    9. Uniforms, pens, parking, meals and duty shoes would all be paid for by facility.
  13. by   joannep
    Originally posted by Tephra
    Sheepers... I just want enough frickin pillows without having to steal them from CCU or Dialysis... LOL!
    Ah, so that's where the pillows from my dialysis unit are when they are missing!

  14. by   LasVegasRN
    I would like to be the nurse case manager for the Rolling Stones for this current tour.
    "Uh, Mick... can't take Geritol with a Harvey Wallbanger, that will make your ulcer flare up!"
    " shame in using bronzing powder, just to give you a little glow..."