Not a Nursing Question, but Has to Do with Work, So...

Nurses General Nursing

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I work with two CNAs that don't drive. One (Amy) simply doesn't have a license due to a mental/physical disability since birth. The other (Kim) has a license and a car, but the car is broken down and she can't afford the repairs. Both expect a ride home from coworkers every day.

Amy often goes to a friend's house instead of to her home. Her friend's house is literally two blocks from the facility where we work. She has never even asked me for a ride, she simply waits by my car and gets in when I unlock the doors. Kim lives about three miles away and used to ask for a ride, but now she simply tells me she will be waiting for me. They do the same thing to other coworkers who drive.

It isn't a big deal because it only takes about ten or fifteen minutes to get them both home. I don't think that any of us spend much extra money on gas. I think there is just some frustration with being expected to deliver them to wherever they need to go. Neither has ever offered to pitch in for gas.

Kim is a single mom who leaves her children with her mother while she works. A few days ago, Kim's mother called her while we were on our way to her house. She was concerned because Kim wasn't home yet. I only heard one side of the conversation, but Kim made the comment to her mother, "The nurse who is taking me home didn't manage to get out on time. She really needs to be more considerate of the fact that I have obligations at home." It was a long and lousy night. I was tempted to pull over and tell her to get out (not that I ever would, but it certainly annoyed me).

All of us who take them home have similar issues. We are just seeking some advice on how we can reduce our frustration about this. One of the CNAs that gives them rides has said she is going to start charging them fifty cents every time she gives them a ride.

Also one day when someone was dropping Amy off, her car died in the parking lot of Amy's apartment complex. She ended up having to call her husband to get it moved and eventually restarted. Amy told her that her car is a piece of junk and that she got in trouble with her landlord for having a friend's car in the lot overnight. She said that from now on Amy and Kim can just walk.

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I think it is nice that so many of you have been doing it to help them but the very second they irritated me, like the comment the one gal made to her mother about you not getting out on time, would have been the very last time that one caught a ride home with me. I wouldn't even offer anything more than a simple "Sorry I can't drive you home tonight" as many times as it takes for them to realize that you will never take them home again. Unfortunately I think it is going to come down to setting boundaries which might not be easy but the alternative is to be bitter and that is silly so I'd suggest deciding to either set limits or suck it up.

I would be more inclined to be inconvenienced if they would offer to pitch in for gas. Sounds like you are going to have to assert yourself to say no or they will continue to take advantage of you. Practice that sentence that Jules suggested, and use it consistently.

Specializes in Trauma, Orthopedics.

These people would never see the inside of my car ever again. But then again, I probably would have said something about their bold assumptions about rides home long before this.

I would have been tempted to tell the young lady off who had the audacity to tell her mother, in your presence, that you are inconsiderate of her 'obligations'. What a set of gonads! Where I come from, people who are getting something for nothing in return, tend to know how to be nice, if nothing else.

That 10-15 minutes a night equals up to an hour and 15 minutes a week or 5 hours a month plus aggravation all for free!

The comment about my lack of time management causing problems with the passenger's obligations would have been the final straw.

Good luck!

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

As I pick my jaw up off the floor...WOW. Um, when someone is doing you a favor, the appropriate response is "Thank you."

My suggestion for Kim is, "I respect that you have obligations at home. Therefore, because I cannot guarantee that I will be out on time, it's best you find more reliable transportation." Of course, in the shock of the moment, it would probably sound like "This clearly ain't working." :sarcastic:

As for Amy, "I promise it won't happen again...because my car isn't going by your house."

Specializes in retired LTC.

"...set of gonads!" Love that!

It's tough to end such a practice of being the 'informal facility transportation service'. Been there, done that several times. I have helped others at times because I feel an occasional kindness will get me 'rewarded 'somewhere, sometime' in my life.

As an RN/supervisor, I made a decent wage, much better than the CNAs' paltry wages. I had a good car rather than a clunker some of the aides drove. Some of the aides didn't have 2 nickels to rub together because of rough times at home with family circumstances. So to help once in a while was no big thing.

But when you're getting taken advantage of, like so many of y'all are, that would be the time to back out. But moochers don't have any qualms when they mooch. And they don't know when to 'take the hint' or they don't have any moral/social conscience to recognize their chutzpah 'moochiness'. It's all just about them.

So start giving them a 'heads up' advance notice that you won't be available some dates for your own 'personal needs'. And then make up some reason to go to a different location (a different direction) for a certain time constraint. Do it often enough and then you'll have set a precedent for yourself to just decline/defer further 'taxi services'.

"Are you feeling like you aren't getting your money's worth?"

I think the comment about being inconsiderate might have been facetious.

"Are you feeling like you aren't getting your money's worth?"

I think the comment about being inconsiderate might have been facetious.

You make a very good point and are probably right. It is amazing how different things seem when they are in print or being looked at from another point of view. I do understand that her mother gets a bit anxious when she is late. If her mother is anything like mine can be, I can see how the comment could be made facetiously.

More than anything I am tired at the end of my shift. I just want to go home. Every now and then, after a long and lousy night, I don't want to take anyone home. :sniff: I really can't relate to the no driving or no car thing because I am a bit spoiled and have always had a car (or a mom or dad or boyfriend or husband to give me a ride when I needed it).

You make a very good point and are probably right. It is amazing how different things seem when they are in print or being looked at from another point of view. I do understand that her mother gets a bit anxious when she is late. If her mother is anything like mine can be, I can see how the comment could be made facetiously.

More than anything I am tired at the end of my shift. I just want to go home. Every now and then, after a long and lousy night, I don't want to take anyone home. :sniff: I really can't relate to the no driving or no car thing because I am a bit spoiled and have always had a car (or a mom or dad or boyfriend or husband to give me a ride when I needed it).

First off, YOUR circumstances are your own, and everyone is an adult. So don't take blame for things that other adults do not have.

You are under no obligation to take care of others' needs that you are at work with. That your co-worker's mother is upset is NOT your issue--even if your own mother would be upset.....even if it was a sarcastic comment to Mom, again, not your issue. The co-worker who goes to the friend's house 2 blocks away can walk--really, 2 BLOCKS?! And the other one must get to work somehow---and can most certainly go back the way she came.

I would, on your very next shift, say to these lovely ladies who believe themselves to be your teenaged children, "Listen, circumstances in my life have changed, and I don't really want to get into it, however, starting Monday I will no longer be able to give you a ride home." Period.

Is there a public transportation system? No one can take a bus?

Specializes in hospice.

This must be why I was never very popular in school..... because I would have been like, "Excuse me, why are you getting into my car?"

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