need help for severe depression

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I am an RN that lives for my career. I am now faced with the probability of losing the career I wanted for so long & worked so hard for.Severe depression has officially taken over. This past year has been really awful. it started with a severe fatal stoke in the family,then I had 3 herniated disks in my cervical spine and ended up with fusion, then an emergency quadruple bypass on my father in law (where I ended up the main caregiver), My son (19) had recurring bouts of undiagnosed pancreatitis followed by gallbladder surgery, I had a car wreck that left me with a herniatd disk in my lumbar spine and will probable not be able to return to my job. top that off with a disabled spouse for the last 6years. so my income was the only one. now that doesn't exist.I don't know what to do anymore. i can't seem to get anything done, nor do i want to.antidepressants don't seem to be helping now.anyone have any ideas???

Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.

Allnurses has a great site that explains depression for what it is.

I encourage folks who do not know much about it or want to learn more about it to start here:

http://allnurses.healthology.com/focus_article.asp?b=allnurses&f=mentalhealth&c=depression_overview&spg=FIA

The more one knows, the better off one is.

Specializes in Nursing assistant.

Thank you for directing us to this article. It really helped in understanding the different types of depression.

I don't know where to start. When I saw the first response to my post I just thought 'how cruel' then I thought 'maybe I am being stupid & I need to get over it'.' Then the nurse education took over & I realized/remembered this was not true. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and OCD about 4 years ago, all this has just made everything so much worse. My therapist at that time believed some of it stems from abuse i sufferred in my pre-teen and teen years, as well as my first marriage to an abusive alcoholic.I believe now that I married him to get out of the abusive situation I was in. My second (current)marriage wasn't much better for a while but we worked on it and it's better now,although he is not much help with the psycological situations. He doesn't know how to express his feelings & thoughts very well.

I want to thank everyone for your replies. I cried through most of them and felt rediculous for some of the thoughts that have been going though my head lately. reading some of the relpies i realize thigs could be worse. i keep reading them over to remind myself, when I can get myself up and moving. It is painful to sit at the computer because of my back, so I can't do it very often. THANK YOU all so much,you have helped. I still think about the accident and wonder why? Why it happened? why I survived? why me? Why i can't just die and be done with it? Some days are worse than others and i have managed to not do anything REALLY stupid. I just want this sh** to be over with. I want the doctors to pay attention when I tell them I am hurting and the current meds are not working. Then act like I don't matter. I had a nerve block done on the 20th and the dr. said I would be really sore for a few days and take the lortab 7.5 every 4 hours.well I've been taking that since Nov. when the wreck happened, it's not helping. I spent the last few days wanting to die it hurt so bad. I have been on leave now for almost a month. with my husband disabled & denied social security my income was it. now it's not there. I was (I don't know if I will still be) the charge nurse at a Rehab hospital that works with spinal cord injuries and cardiac and respiratory failure patients(everything from 4day post CABG to resp. failure just off the vent.). as charge I took the same pt. load as the other nurses so at lease there my back is a problem. I just don't know anymore. I go to see my GP tomorrow, I plan on telling him to send me to someone or at least change my meds.maybe that will help. I am trying to stay positive, if the STUPID thoughts would just stay away. if I had help at home maybe it would be easier, i just can't sit and watch the chores pile up- my OCD doesn't allow that (ha ha). I better sign off now this is getting way too long SORRY! Thanks again to alll!!!

Hello

I am very sorry to hear about all you are going through. I have had my share of disappointments lately!

Here is a link to a devotional I read this morning. I hope it helps!

http://www.ggwo.org/faiththoughts/January/23.html

Did you look at this site and contact them for help?

http://www.nurseshouse.org

Please, do and let us know the results.

God bless you.

Sharon

Specializes in Critical Care/ICU.

needshelp -

You are in so much pain both physically and emotionally. I, probably like many reading this thread, am concerned about the "stupid thoughts" you are having. Are your thoughts related to suicide?

Please tell your doctor about these thoughts tomorrow. I think this is so important.

I am so so sorry that you are going through all of this and it seems like you are going through it so alone.

We are here for you and value you tremendously and what you're going through. Please come back when you have these thoughts and talk to us.

There is also a number you can call.

1-800-273-TALK

1-800-273-8255

If suicide is not what you're thinking then I'm relieved. But you must know that your words are alarming and your situation is temporary though it may not feel that way now.

Please come back to update us on how you're doing. Let us be there for you and again, please tell your doctor.

Direct all of your needs to a good physician !

please have your gp refer you to a psychiatrist- a reputable one.

there are those that just give you med after med after med and you're a zombie.

you don't want that.

my pcp initially prescribed my antidepressants.

it wasn't until this year that i started seeing a psychiatrist for a variety of reasons. and we experimented around with meds til the right combo. and i still won't take one of thenm because it makes me so sedated. especially having the ocd, these intrusive thoughts are just not going to go away until you're on the right med.

also ask your gp for a referral to a pain clinic as well as a therapist.

you need to do everything possible for yourself to get yourself well again.

you are so worth it.

and there's no reason in the world why anyone should have to live with physical and emotional pain.

please, try to motivate yourself enough to get the help you so very deserve.

insist on it.

i shall keep you in my prayers.

and by all means, pm me anytime-there's alot to be shared.

with peace,

leslie

Needshelp, I know exactly what you are going through. DO NOT listen to people who have never been there. People who don't know what it is like seem to have the strongest opinions...

I have suffered from debilitating depression most of my life (I'm 30) and I have a mother who turns her nose up at people who take antidepressants as "weak." When she found out I had started taking them she made sure to insert her opinion as fact, that people who have to resort to medication do so because they can't deal with life's problems the way everyone else has to.

I say, maybe antidepressants may have made her a more pleasant person to be around!

And my depression was made worse when stressors were added. What drove me over the edge was when my father-in-law moved in with us. I spiraled downhill from there (I also have a disabled husband who is legally blind). I had a mental breakdown and ran away from home, and ended up getting in a lot of trouble.

Anyway, depression has to be one of the most misunderstood illnesses out there. I know how painful it is. It is as painful as any physical ailment you can have. I started taking Lexapro a year ago and I feel like it saved my life. And my only regret is the wasted years of my youth where I did nothing because I was exhausted and cynical, never doing anything except overeat and gain weight because I thought "what's the point?"

Now, I am working on finishing up my associate degree in nursing, and I plan to go through an RN-MSN program ASAP after that. I still have days that aren't so good but in general my life has really changed, thanks to medication.

Did you look at this site and contact them for help?

http://www.nurseshouse.org

Please, do and let us know the results.

God bless you.

Sharon

Thanks for the link to this site I will try them. I never knew someplace like this existed. Thanks!!!!!

needshelp -

You are in so much pain both physically and emotionally. I, probably like many reading this thread, am concerned about the "stupid thoughts" you are having. Are your thoughts related to suicide?

Please tell your doctor about these thoughts tomorrow. I think this is so important.

I am so so sorry that you are going through all of this and it seems like you are going through it so alone.

We are here for you and value you tremendously and what you're going through. Please come back when you have these thoughts and talk to us.

There is also a number you can call.

1-800-273-TALK

1-800-273-8255

If suicide is not what you're thinking then I'm relieved. But you must know that your words are alarming and your situation is temporary though it may not feel that way now.

Please come back to update us on how you're doing. Let us be there for you and again, please tell your doctor.

In response to your first question I'm sorry to say yes. I don't mean to alarm anyone. I have thought about it 'logically' and cannot do anything. the pain something like that would cause my family is unbearable to think about. Besides my life insurance(like all I'm sure) has a suicide clause (attempt at humor.) I remember my psych classes in nursing class, (I graduated in 98 so it's not too long ago) to allay fears I have no intentions or plans.

I tried to tell the GP the last time i saw him but I worry that if i say I am having these thoughts i will be put on a mandatory 72 hour hold in a psych unit (state law) I could not handle that. Also I am seeing pain management MD's one for continued radiculopathy after my cervical fusion and one for this low back stuff (2 because of ins. issues) there is conflict there with meds.

At least my back is not as bad as yest. (now 10/10 instead of 20/10) maybe its going to improve some.

PS what is pm and how does it work? (that probably sounds stupid but I'm new here and don't chat much online) Thanks. Rhonda

PS what is pm and how does it work? (that probably sounds stupid but I'm new here and don't chat much online) Thanks. Rhonda

pm is for private message, and if you want to send a pm to someone here, then you just look in the upper left side of the post, that's where the person's name is located

then you click on their name and the box appears with the "private message"

(I learn something new everyday)

keep well

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