lost mom during the first semester

Nurses General Nursing

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I am entering my 4th semester of nursing school this fall. At the end of my first semester, my mom was killed in a car accident. She was driving to work and was not even a factor in what caused the accident, just a victim to a truck driver and another car. I miss her so much. Graduation is something that I wanted to look forward to, but she won't be there physically. I want to share this whole experience of nursing school with her. I feel so cheated. I really need her. I miss her friendship. :cry:

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Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

My mother died over 18 years ago, and there are still days when it is tough. I don't think you ever truly get over such a loss, whatever it means to "get over" such a tragedy.

Even though I had the support of my family and friends when I graduated with my first degree following her death, I cried throughout the entire thing. Everyone else was having a great time, but although I was proud and happy I couldn't get over the fact that she missed it.

What helped me was framing a photo of my graduation and taking that to her grave and "talking to her" about everything that she had missed. I was heartbreaking, but the only way I felt I could share the experience with her. I also wore a piece of her jewelry that I could touch during the ceremonly if I felt I needed strength.

You are going to feel what you feel, and that's OK whatever it is. Do what you need to do to honor her memory, but I am sure wherever she is she would want you to celebrate your achievement.

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Specializes in behavioral health.

tolerantgirl, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Nursing school is stressful enough, but I cannot even imagine a tragedy like that. taketwoaspirin had a great post.

And, to taketwo aspirin, I am sorry that you did not have your mother at your graduation.

I thank God everyday that I still have my mother at age of 83. However, I did lose a brother four years ago. And, there are certain times when I really miss him. e.g. The new addition of my grandson to the family. I know that he would get a kick out of him.

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Thank you for responding. My mom left behind her mother that she was caring for and now I am filling that role, doing as much as I can, but it is hard when you are in school. My grandmother is looking forward to me graduating and I want this time to be special for her. I will be sad, but happy too. Those are the two emotions that are very much mixed together in life it seems, crying one minute, laughing the next. I know my mom is with me every day.

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER.

tolerantgirl I'm so sorry for your loss. As a Mom myself I can assure you that if there is even any amount of truth to my belief in an after life, your Mom is with you. Her love for you didn't die when she did any more that your love for her would. She is there, she is proud of you and will be celebrating your happy day. Continue to make your Mom proud, she is watching!

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Specializes in Med-surgical; telemetry; STROKE.

Oh my dear... It was heartbreaking to read about your mom. I wish I could say more... I share your grief and disappointment.

And I know that your mom is proud of you. Nursing school is a very challenging experience for everybody, but for you it was devastating and yet, look at you, You Did It!!!

I want to congratulate you and wish you to find peace and joy in your work and meet new wonderful people there. Let your good friends be with you on the day of your graduation! I wish you that good fortune be with you!

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Thank you for all that have responded. I went to this site to find help for school, but then found a place where I can talk about how I am feeling with other things as well. It is a great place of support and I am glad that I found allnurses.com. God Bless.

Stephanie

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Specializes in Onc/Hem, School/Community.

Oh tolerant, I can empathize with you. I am 40 years old and will be graduating May 2009. My mother passed away a few months before my first class. I also find myself sabotaging my excitement with wishes that she were here to share the moment. I wish I had the perfect answer for you; but, I am sending you hugs and understanding. Remember to let yourself cry and get it out of your system. Please feel free to send me a personal message at any time.

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Hey Tolerant Girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My brother died 2 months before I was supposed to take the nclex. I will say a prayer for you that your heart will heal. Just know that she isn't there physically but she is there spiritually. I know you can get through it.

Take Care,

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I am sorry about the loss of your mother, especially in such a tragic manner. I lost mine to cancer 9 years ago, and it still takes some getting used to. Just do the best that you can to show your mom in heaven that you were worth the investment she made in your life because you will be a nurse and will make her proud. Blessings to you in your time of grief.

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I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your mom will always be with you in your heart, just know that she would be sooooo proud of you.

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Hello Tolerant Girl, Sorry for your lost. We will pray for your strength. I start school on the 26 and just lost my uncle that was my dad only brother he is having a hard time. I think this is a good support site.

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