I'm not sure I'm cut out for this

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Quick note - I put this in General Nursing because I want to talk to nurses, not students.

So I'm working on my nursing school apps now, and I'm about done with my pre-req's. I'm a grown up (37) with previous work experience, kids, a husband, mortgage, etc.

I'm starting to doubt my decision to go into nursing. Not because I don't think I can do it - I think I can with the proper schooling and training. In fact, I think I'll make a half way decent nurse.

It's the culture I don't think I can handle. I know not everyone feels this way, so if you don't, please know this doesn't apply to you.

There seems to be this idea that if you're a nurse, you're special. I don't like this. It's as if you're better, you work harder, you're above other people (similar to teachers honestly). This makes me really, really uncomfortable. It's not just how other people view the profession, it's how some nurses view themselves (in my opinion, of course). It really, really bothers me (as it will apply to me, not as it applies to anyone else). I already get the big eyes, and the hand to the throat and the "I could NEVER do that, you're an angel" when I mention my ambition is nursing. It makes me not even want to mention it. I see shirts that say "I bust my a** so I can save yours" - like that's going to be my job, isn't it?

I'm not going into nursing because I've been "called" to do so. I want an interesting job, that pays decently and that I get to keep learning at. I'm not really altruistic. I mean, I like helping people, but it's not the driving force of my life.

I know this probably sounds really dumb, but it's been bothering me for months now. I hate being put on a pedestal, because I guarantee I'm going to fall off. I guess not meeting expectations (regardless of how ridiculous they are) people have of me is a fear of mine. Is this something that I'll get over? Or that will stop bothering me? I hate people thinking that I'm something I'm not.

Sorry for being ridiculous. Sometimes it slips out.

Thanks in advance.

I already think of you as a nurse. You're the type of people "we" want on board.

I already think of you as a nurse. You're the type of people "we" want on board.

Well that's a heck of a compliment. Thanks

Now get out of here with all these feelings and stuff ;)

Specializes in LTC.
When you mentioned being put on a pedestal, there is one thing to compare it to that you probably understand.

Parenthood as an abstract concept sometimes lives on a pedestal. As an actual parent you don't live in the abstract realm of "parenthood", you live in the real, down and dirty world of childcare and there is no idealizing that.

Now the outsider view of nursing is like parenthood. The working nurse lives with patient care(which is a lot like childcare sometimes).

Exactly. Jen, I read through this thread earlier and thought: You've had to encounter this same thing with homeschooling. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Oh, I could NEVER do that... I don't have the patience..." Etc.

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

Put on a pedestal? More likely to be "thrown under the bus" at the first chance someone else has to save their own butt!

As far as those t-shirts, and other things with nursing sayings on them....just ignore them and don't get any! Nurses are their own worse enemies!

Specializes in Oncology.

As a heads up, you will have classmates in nursing school tell you that they don't know how you do it with kids. The thing is, the people telling me this where being honest and didn't know how I did it. They didn't get that my kids are not helpless beings that cannot function, or even breathe without my assistance. :roflmao: As someone else pointed out, parenting looks very different to the childless. Depending on the person/conversation I would either jokingly blow it off (I'm used to them so I decided to keep them) or if they were being honest and serious I would point out that there were other parents who worked full time as well as school, or the single parents in class, or even point out what they had going on.

Regarding those t-shirts....there will always be people in every walk of life that need constant validation of their self worth. The people that feel the need to post pictures of every meal they are eating, constant updates about where they are, acting as their own paparazzi. Ugh. I think that is worse than being placed on a pedestal...it is someone climbing onto it and shouting "LOOK AT ME! I AM IMPORTANT!" Sad really. Or perhaps they had no clean laundry that day...

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Put on a pedestal? I wish!

Nursing, as a profession, is respected. But on an individual level, nurses are often treated like licensed drug dealers and waitresses...or at least itfeels like it.

Nursing is special in its own way.Pretty much every profession is...except for lawyers. ;)

Specializes in Emergency Department.
Put on a pedestal? More likely to be "thrown under the bus" at the first chance someone else has to save their own butt!

+1

:roflmao:

Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

We all have our reasons why we choose nursing. I was a Health Care Administrator before I was a nurse. I do not have feelings of altruism, what I have is feelings of being a manager who can navigate a system of a cornucopia of people who have very different views. In short I can navigate in a HOT MESS most days. What is most important is being competent at what you are doing. There is a wide variety of nursing skills, you just have to find what fits you best. This truly is a job I find interesting, find challenging, find rewarding, find confusing at times but most of all this is a job where I know I will be doing until I retire even if I have direct patient care or not.

Quick note - I put this in General Nursing because I want to talk to nurses, not students.

So I'm working on my nursing school apps now, and I'm about done with my pre-req's. I'm a grown up (37) with previous work experience, kids, a husband, mortgage, etc.

I'm starting to doubt my decision to go into nursing. Not because I don't think I can do it - I think I can with the proper schooling and training. In fact, I think I'll make a half way decent nurse.

It's the culture I don't think I can handle. I know not everyone feels this way, so if you don't, please know this doesn't apply to you.

There seems to be this idea that if you're a nurse, you're special. I don't like this. It's as if you're better, you work harder, you're above other people (similar to teachers honestly). This makes me really, really uncomfortable. It's not just how other people view the profession, it's how some nurses view themselves (in my opinion, of course). It really, really bothers me (as it will apply to me, not as it applies to anyone else). I already get the big eyes, and the hand to the throat and the "I could NEVER do that, you're an angel" when I mention my ambition is nursing. It makes me not even want to mention it. I see shirts that say "I bust my a** so I can save yours" - like that's going to be my job, isn't it?

I'm not going into nursing because I've been "called" to do so. I want an interesting job, that pays decently and that I get to keep learning at. I'm not really altruistic. I mean, I like helping people, but it's not the driving force of my life.

I know this probably sounds really dumb, but it's been bothering me for months now. I hate being put on a pedestal, because I guarantee I'm going to fall off. I guess not meeting expectations (regardless of how ridiculous they are) people have of me is a fear of mine. Is this something that I'll get over? Or that will stop bothering me? I hate people thinking that I'm something I'm not.

Sorry for being ridiculous. Sometimes it slips out.

Thanks in advance.

I was a teacher that became a nurse. I am not all that altruistic either, when I'm being completely honest. People don't really put nurses or teachers on pedestals out there in the real world. You'll see. Oh, you'll see. You're overly concerned about nothing. You'll honestly wish that was the case once you're there.

There was an awful lot of that specialness being promoted in nursing school, which I saw through immediately. They were simply trying to retain people.

Sometimes, I still see that via some nurses I went to school with on FB. They're all super young. These are the same people that have constant selfies and the 'blessed momma' hashtags too. I'm just waiting for the full brunt of reality to finally sink in for them.

Don't worry too much about it. Any time I get comments along the lines of "Nurses are angels!" (which usually are accompanied by genuine thanks), I smile and thank them, knowing they have no idea what the reality of nursing is. Of course, I also worked newborn nursery, where all we did was "rock babies all day!" :roflmao:

Based on your posts that I've seen, you seem like the sort of level-headed, pragmatic person who is going be a great nurse. Don't let other people's misguided perceptions keep you from pursuing your career aspirations! :)

I saw and respect your preference for licensed RNs versus fellow SNs feedback on this issue, but as a fellow second-career student in his 30's, I thought I'd briefly chime in. I can't speak to any other person's comfort level regarding the complex you describe above, nor other people's perception of nurses and nursing. But I do think nurses are special.

I spent thirteen years of my life working in every role from linecook to IT professional and throughout it all, I looked at the nurses around me (family, friends and others in my community) and learned about their work, their sacrifices, their challenges and their education and I admired it. I also saw their experiences, their disposition and their weird-as-hell sense of humor and I wanted it. I was driving down the highway in 2011 thinking about how much I hated my current career and realized - wow, if I want it, I could make that happen. Six years of pre-reqs, applications, and school later, I'm about one year out.

I don't know you and it may be unfair to assume, but my guess given your age and the sacrifices you made to go back and get this far, is that you looked at the nurses around you, picked them out of all the jobs you could have gone back for, and decided you wanted to be like them too. When I get freaked out, frustrated, frightened, repulsed or (most commonly) completely weirded-out, I remind myself about that feeling and I power through.

Good luck.

As I was writing this, my reaction changed.

Initially I thought, even though these are morally sound preoccupations, I wouldn't let a perceived stereotype about my occupation define who I am...whether it be a garbage man or a doctor, yes

a doctor.

Some are troubled by being perceived as hero-like life savers when in reality many of their patients can barely afford to see them, the whole health should be a right not a privilege spectrum. Some even take it one step further and have admitted to seeing themselves as 'money-making machines' who treat mostly well-off individuals, rather than someone in public health who can, despite the lesser prestige, affect way more people across a much wider variety of socioeconomic statuses.

Anyways, I really respect your decision, whether or not I agree with it is meaningless, you know yourself better than I do, who am I to judge what you feel about yourself or your career.

However, it is dangerous to "hype up one's own profession or self" as it often gives off a notion of insecurity, which may impact the quality of care provided. Pride is one thing, but showing off is another and just like compliments can be beneficial, so can criticism.

Good post, enjoyed reading it.

+ Add a Comment