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I worked as a back office MA for 4 years before becoming RN working nights. Both positions have pros and cons, especially considering your role as a mom. Hospital considerations: I can usually work my schedule around my kids' schedules at the hospital, provided I have enough warning. I can be at field trips, class parties, and the first and last days of school. But hospitals never close, so that means working holidays. My hospital schedules us on one "minor" (Labor Day, 4th of July, or Memorial Day) and one "major" (Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year) holiday. We have learned to work around this. Who says Thanksgiving can't be on a Wednesday or Friday? Kids loved celebrating Christmas a few days early last year. But, it can feel different celebrating on a different day. Clinic considerations: Have you discussed which parent will take off work if a kid is sick or has appointments? I have seen people lose their jobs for calling out frequently because of childcare-related things. A common misconception is that outpatient means slower than inpatient. Nope. I had to multitask like nobody's business working outpatient because whatever I didn't get done was waiting for me the next day, along with that day's work. We also had to deal with medical emergencies (for some reason people think going to their PCP first will get them seen faster at the ED). I will be honest, after 7 years of nights, I am looking to return to a more traditional position working M-F 9-5. I am in my late 40's, and know that I will not be able to keep up with the physical demands of my current job forever. But, that is me. I work with a few women that are nearing retirement and they run circles around the 20-year-olds. You have to consider what works best for you and your family.

I was the odd one and went with MA before nursing school, but there was a specific reason why I did that. I had worked as a legal secretary for 10 years when I decided I wanted to switch careers. I did have concerns about how I would do in the medical field, but I also didn't want to spend money on school and not use it. In MA school I learned injections, venipuncture, and front office (basics on billing, coding, insurance authorizations, and so on). I figured that if I couldn't do the injections I could use my legal secretary background and work as a HUC or work front office somewhere. CNA would have given me exposure to what life was really like at the bedside, but I wasn't sure what other options would have been available if I didn't like beside. In the end, I discovered that I loved being an MA and now a nurse. All that said, you have to decide what you feel you will gain as an MA or CNA before nursing school, and if it is worth it. For me, MA was beneficial, but this isn't a one-size-fits-all thing. As Subee pointed out, you don't have to earn either to be successful as a nurse.

I want to look at this from a completely different point of view...let's look at where the system failed. OP, you have not specifically addressed this, so I will ask. Do you have phones or pagers to get ahold of other staff during the shift? Do the RNs? I ask because you did bring up a good point, both you and the nurse have things that need to get accomplished. As charge, there are many times I need to track down a nurse, but they could be anywhere (pt room, med room, supply room, bathroom, who knows). I just call them up with whatever it is I need to tell them. I have heard that some facilities do not give CNAs phones to carry. Your situation is exactly why they should. While I understand your Post-It Note idea, I know that there are points in a shift where I don't see my desk for hours, so I wouldn't see your note, which leaves us in the same situation. But, having access to phones or whatever could have prevented lots of frustration for all. Just a thought.

I earned my BSN at 39. I'm currently 45 and working on my MSN. As the saying goes, age is just a number.

My heart breaks for you. This is absolutely not okay. As a preceptor to new hires (experienced nurses), it is my job to teach them our policies and procedures, and about our patient population if they are not from a similar specialty. As a preceptor to a new grad, we cover the policies, procedures, and patient population, AND I help them find their nursing practice and help guide them as they start out. Part of it is based on what I see as an experienced nurse, and part is based on what they tell me they need. And (because I feel like a mama to all the new grads), I keep an eye out on them throughout their first year to make sure they continue to feel supported. The fact that no other preceptors are available due to staffing issues is a big red flag. I'm also questioning leaving a new grad to fend for themselves days into orientation. It takes a while before I trust anyone to be alone with my patients. Big hugs. I agree with Been There Done That (she always has such great advice)...there are better places out there. The first year is hard, even with the best of support. ICU is hard (I've heard), even with the best of support. You have no support there. No. Just no.

First, big hugs Quinn_Le! New grad me would agree with everything you wrote, feeling exactly like you do. I agree with seeing if you can postpone school for a little while to focus your attention on work and self-care when not at work. I struggled when I started on my oncology med-surg unit. I did use a journal, and what helped me was writing out what went well for any shift. Then I would think about what was beyond my control and make a note of that. Finally, I would think about what didn't go as well as I wanted and what I could have done differently. Time management was a huge issue for me, so thinking about what could have been different helped when I came back the next day and had the same patients or at least some of the same patients. This allowed me to put into practice what I had thought about. But you need to also focus on what went well and know that things are outside your control. The next bit of advice is easier said than done, but try...don't think about work when you are not there. Or perhaps, take a little time to look over a patient's diagnosis that you recently had to start putting things together. But don't spend too long doing this. Your time off is your time to recharge and do what you need/want to do. Take some time for yourself. Are there other nurses on the unit that you feel comfortable talking with? If there are, go to them and ask them how they would approach the same situations. Hang in there. My dad always said, it takes 6 months to learn how to do a job. And it takes a year to learn how to do it well. He wasn't wrong.

Oh my, I feel like I could have written this when I was a new grad. I am so sorry that you are feeling like this, and are unsupported by your unit. I was the queen of filling out incident reports my first year and even had 2 patients fall within one week of each other during my first month off of orientation. I also struggled with time management. I was also acutely aware of the fact that no one trusted me. I remember knowing that I was going to be let go at the end of my residency. First, find one or two nurses that you know you can ask questions to. Also, learn who to avoid unless it is absolutely necessary. As I have learned over the years, even the best nurses still ask questions. But the key is to know who to ask. But you also need to learn how to trust yourself. I know this is hard, especially given your confidence has been shaken. But if you are sure you know the answer, then have faith in that. When you make a mistake, learn from it, grow from it, and then move on to be a better nurse because of it. You identified incorrectly waisting a medication and correlated the required pyxis count as a hint. Great! You learned and don't make that mistake again. Honestly, I get more concerned when I see repeated mistakes and not learning than making a mistake. The chemo treatment plans in Epic can really suck sometimes. It can still mess me up after years of doing it. I have a chemo-specific brain I use that walks me though all my checks (Echo date? Pregnant? Central line? Current lab values, and so on). Maybe create something like that to help guide you as you prepare. What concerns me more is that you were doing your first hang independently and there was no support. Any time we have a new chemo nurse hanging the first few times, we keep a special eye out on them. Chemo is stressful. This sounds like a unit problem, not a you problem. Time management is a skill that can only be learned. If you know it is an issue, make it a priority to work on. Each shift ask what went well, what didn't (why and what could have been changed), and what was beyond your control. Then (if you have the same patients the next shift) apply what you figured out. Sorry for the long reply. As I said, I feel like I am writing this to my new grad self. So with that in mind, I say this. I knew I struggled. But I made it. 5 years later I am a preceptor, charge, and resource to my unit. I am a better nurse because of all my struggles in my first year. The biggest difference I see between you and me is that I did have support from management. I am sorry you clearly don't.

We have a resource nurse on our unit, and their entire job that shift is to support the other nurses and do whatever is needed to help push the shift forward. One night as a new grad I asked our resource with help doing something for me in one room while I finished with something in another. She asked what all I had going on, and then after I told her, she said no to helping me. I remember being so frustrated at the time. I now understand that she was forcing me to learn how to handle what was happening. I should add, there wasn't anything drastic going on, and was well within my ability to handle, I just didn't believe I could. Perhaps your preceptor is doing something similar. Maybe that is why you see her helping others. But, I do see issue with her not providing feedback. I would ask for feedback, maybe focusing on charting one shift, then something else another shift. I am a big fan of feedback, in real time. I always point out things when I look over others charting when I precept. Hang in there.

Care plans were the bane of nursing school for me. But now that I am practicing, I can understand what was really being taught through our care plans. For my school we had to document what additional labs/testing we would anticipate and explain why. While I don't have to document this now, I am actually thinking about this throughout my shift. We had to document a full head to toe assessment, obviously I do this for everyone. We had to list all meds and labs and write out the significance of everything. Again, while I am not actually writing this down, I am thinking about all of this. Hindsight lets me understand that there really was a reason behind what we were doing. And, as the previous poster pointed out, part of this is to actually see what your thought process is regarding the situation. Remember, the clinical instructor isn't with you at all times and they need something as "proof" of your education. That said, we were also give a couple of days after clinical to put everything together. Although you do bring up an interesting point about virtual learning. Then the instructors control what information everyone is getting and it regulates things a bit. I will be honest, I have had a student with me that so clearly had no idea what was really going on with my patient. I kept trying to explain the situation and lasting implications to the patient (spinal cord compression from tumor with possible permanent paralysis....student just thought patient fell and hurt their spine). I think this student didn't have to do a care plan for this shift. Listening to her talk with the instructor, there was no way the instructor would know how off base this student was (they were in their last semester and this their last clinical so she should have had a little more insight).

My orientation was a week or two longer than the other new grads on my unit. When I finally got off orientation, I lasted about 4 weeks before it became clear I wasn't ready. I work nights and was put back onto orientation during days so that the manager and unit trainer would be around more for me. To the unit, it looked like I was training to move to days (at the time there was a long list of night shifters wanting to go to days). Needless to say, people were upset that I got to switch to days. It was hard to have to repeatedly assure people I was not going to days, and that I was back on orientation and then would go back to nights. I felt like a failure. I knew that everyone was judging me. But, the reality was, no one treated me any different. They were supportive. And I learned. I will not lie, it took a while to feel like I moved past being the questionable new nurse (not sure how much was in my head vs what everyone really thought). But now I know I am a stronger nurse for everything. It took time, but now I am a preceptor, and other nurses that I respect actually ask for my thoughts on things. I still get excited when people ask me for help.

So much to process here....you told the AM different ways the situation could be avoided in the future, by pointing out areas that you personally have control over, but also areas that the unit could improve. The fact that the carts are locked up and no one knew how to get one is not your fault. And suggesting signage be available on the unit at all times is smart (we have that on our unit because carts aren't always available). I will also point out that she said she never had issues working nights...well, was that when the carts were locked up? If not, then she has no room to speak. You attempted to get a cart, and couldn't, so you brought in your charge. This is exactly what you should do. It is called delegating and asking for help when needed. Your priority was dealing with a CIWA pt, among others, which you needed to deal with. The task of securing a cart could be given to someone else. Your AM obviously sucks at management. Publicly shaming you is unprofessional and uncalled for. Not seeing that people did not know how to get a cart is an issue....who gives a rat's rear end that she knew how...the point is that the floor didn't know. And yes, day shift can get crazy. But to imply that you don't need great nurses on nights is laughable. Guess what? Crap goes down on nights as well. Ugh. So much wrong with this manager. I have manager experience, just not at the hospital. But I would applaud someone that was able to identify where they could improve and point out other areas that contributed to a problem. Just saying.

I agree with the post above, you might just be automatically being rejected because you have not taken/passed the NCLEX. Take a deep breath in and focus on the NCLEX.

No, no one was defending the women. But there were points when people were saying it was dems acting out. My point was just that I've seen it on both sides, and in either case it is simply wrong. I have issues with the entire situation. Adults lashing out at a child and a mother putting her child at risk. Just sickening across the board.

Let me start with stating my bias...I am not a Trump fan. But would I destroy a Trump supporter's sign, or take a child's MAGA hat? Hell no! I have had many intelligent conversations with others that do not share my political beliefs. But here is the thing, I do so with respect, and I expect the same in return. No name calling. No shaming the other for their belief. And certainly no violence. It's called being an adult. I vote based off of which candidate I believe aligns closest to my belief, not their party affiliation, meaning I vote both democrat and republican based on the person. ? I know, shocking concept. I see both political sides with idiots like all of these women. I'm sorry, I would never tell my child to take back their hat from an obviously hostile (potentially violent) person. Not blaming the victim, just stating that my parental instincts would be to protect my child from those stupid women. True, I might be stupid enough to try to get it back, but again, I would NEVER tell my child to. But how does stealing a hat from a child show that you are somehow politically superior? People need to grow up. But the lashing out like this is a sign of a larger issue. When did acting like a spoiled child become acceptable for adults? Again, both sides have people acting like it. I am so over it.

I also am inpatient hem/onc. Breaks are essential. So is good hydration. I had a coworker that always rushed around, missed breaks, stayed late to finish charting. They were just running themselves ragged. We would try to get them to take a break, but they never went. Sometimes you just have to step away for a few. Think about it....we tell caregivers all the time to practice self care. Even the safety lecture on planes starts with "put your mask on first before you place it on your child." You mentioned that you always feel like you are behind. Without knowing you or working with you it is hard to offer advice on this. What is it that you feel behind in (charting, med passes, pt care???) Do you cluster your care so that you are not constantly returning back to a room (I was terrible about this when I started)? Do you have a trusted coworker that might be able to help figure out why you are rushed? It sounds odd, but I randomly changed my brain sheet from one sheet per pt with tons of info on it, so a basic one with just tasks and times for everyone on one side and important facts on the other and this simple change was a game changer for me. Turns out having too many sheets with too much information overwhelmed me.