I'm not sure I'm cut out for this

[ItsThatJenGirl]

Quick note - I put this in General Nursing because I want to talk to nurses, not students.

So I'm working on my nursing school apps now, and I'm about done with my pre-req's. I'm a grown up (37) with previous work experience, kids, a husband, mortgage, etc.

I'm starting to doubt my decision to go into nursing. Not because I don't think I can do it - I think I can with the proper schooling and training. In fact, I think I'll make a half way decent nurse.

It's the culture I don't think I can handle. I know not everyone feels this way, so if you don't, please know this doesn't apply to you.

There seems to be this idea that if you're a nurse, you're special. I don't like this. It's as if you're better, you work harder, you're above other people (similar to teachers honestly). This makes me really, really uncomfortable. It's not just how other people view the profession, it's how some nurses view themselves (in my opinion, of course). It really, really bothers me (as it will apply to me, not as it applies to anyone else). I already get the big eyes, and the hand to the throat and the "I could NEVER do that, you're an angel" when I mention my ambition is nursing. It makes me not even want to mention it. I see shirts that say "I bust my a** so I can save yours" - like that's going to be my job, isn't it?

I'm not going into nursing because I've been "called" to do so. I want an interesting job, that pays decently and that I get to keep learning at. I'm not really altruistic. I mean, I like helping people, but it's not the driving force of my life.

I know this probably sounds really dumb, but it's been bothering me for months now. I hate being put on a pedestal, because I guarantee I'm going to fall off. I guess not meeting expectations (regardless of how ridiculous they are) people have of me is a fear of mine. Is this something that I'll get over? Or that will stop bothering me? I hate people thinking that I'm something I'm not.

Sorry for being ridiculous. Sometimes it slips out.

Thanks in advance.

[virgogirl]

I agree with you Lovinglife123...I think nursing can also affect people emotionally too! I was treated very badly while in an OR residency. It didn't work out and I resigned. It really shook my confidence quite a bit...unfortunately there is bullying that goes on...that's one thing I never knew about until clinicals and I was shocked! Noticed it mostly in hospitals and certain specialties like the OR.

[3ringnursing, BSN]

Hi Jen,

You get all kinds in every profession - it's a grab bag assortment of personalities, just like anywhere else.

Think of nursing in these terms (with the disclaimer of inserting any other profession into the nursing slot): If you took a random 100 people between 22 to 69 years of age (my random assignment of working age nurses, although I have met 20 years olds with RN degrees, and nurses older than 69 still working) whom all work full time and stick them into a room you likely will get a wide variety of people all with different backgrounds, experiences growing up, socioeconomic levels, religions, ethnicities, cultures, first languages, out looks on life, and talents. You would get the kind, the humble, the decent, the generous, the giving, the altruistic, the narcissists, The snow flakes, the sociopaths, the proud, the braggarts, the entitled, the jerks, et al. ...

That's nursing.

I hear what you are saying - there are people out there whom feel a step above everyone else, but I think it is less that they are a nurse, and more the person they subscribe to be overall on the inside.

Those people you mentioned would be a jackwagon whether they were a nurse, hair stylist, dishwasher, plastic surgeon, bus driver, dental hygienist, real estate appraiser, financial planner, or cashier.

So Jen, now you know: you will meet those same people anywhere no matter what career you pick. How about you continue on with your nursing studies? I've seen your posts before and you have a level head on your shoulders. And we as a profession could sure use someone like you.

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P.S. If I had a nickel for every time I thought I wasn't cut out four nursing in the beginning I would be able to be retired right now, sitting on some white sandy beach drinking beverages with little umbrellas sticking out of the top. Me and my 1,000,000,000 nickels.

I didn't go into nursing as an altruistic move either - I became a nurse because it was my mom and grandma's dream that never was. I wanted to be an orthodontist, but we had no dental school in AZ at the time (and I was a momma & grandma's girl through and through, even if I did marry when I was 17). I had nothing better to do career wise - but you know what? It grew on me, and now I love it.

Good luck!

[Purple_roses]

I was a teacher that became a nurse. I am not all that altruistic either, when I'm being completely honest. People don't really put nurses or teachers on pedestals out there in the real world. You'll see. Oh, you'll see. You're overly concerned about nothing. You'll honestly wish that was the case once you're there.

There was an awful lot of that specialness being promoted in nursing school, which I saw through immediately. They were simply trying to retain people.

Sometimes, I still see that via some nurses I went to school with on FB. They're all super young. These are the same people that have constant selfies and the 'blessed momma' hashtags too. I'm just waiting for the full brunt of reality to finally sink in for them.

I think you figured out what the root problem is with nurses who put their own selves on pedestals. It's the nursing instructors lol. If I had a dime for every time I heard one of the following:

--Nursing is a calling.

--You can't work in nursing school. (Code for "all your time must be sacrificed to the god that is nursing in order to succeed).

--Posters stating something to do about nurses being angles on earth or some crap.