I left a patient's home crying today

Nurses General Nursing

Published

i've been seeing an elderly lady with lung ca for about a month and a half. she finished her first round of chemo and was supposed to start the second round yesterday. earlier this week she told me she was giving up, she's tired and she doesn't want to fight anymore. the onc referred her to hospice so i went to discharge her from home health today. she looked so worn out and tiny sitting on her couch. we held hands and talked for a bit, then she whispered, "you're not coming back?"

i lost it then and there, and i was still crying when i left. her last words to me are still in my head: "i love you."

She sounds like a brave soul.

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Big (((((((((hugs))))))))))

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Tazzi it is ok to cry.

I think you have a healthy balance and know that you can get close to patients without getting too emotionally entangled.

It is wonderful that you made such an impact on this dear lady.

I am sure her decision was a hard one for her but I do know Hospice will make a difference in her short life.

Hospice Nursing is awesome and I am so in love with my job.

I leave some of my patients in tears. I drive off praying for them.

For instance I have a sweet couple, she is young compared to most of my patients. Second marriage for both, obviously in love with each other.

It breaks my heart to see her hubby so strong for his wife but so broken when we leave the house together to talk before I leave.

This lady is so gracious, has such a peace about her and is prepared as anyone I have ever seen.

She is an artist and wanted to have all the details of her dying process, what she will see or hear etc. I think she is painting her final picture.

Tears help us rid us of these emotions that build up. Tears are good for us.

Keep the professional boundaries as you are and always remember this little lady loved YOU.

Have a blessed day Tazzie :icon_hug:

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Specializes in Tele, Infectious Disease, OHN.

{{{{{{{{{{Tazzi}}}}}}}}}}

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

*Hugs Tazzi* You do an awesome job!

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Specializes in ICU/PCU/Infusion.

(((((((((tazzi))))))))))

you are a special woman. it certainly speaks volumes that this lady shared her feelings with you. keep on trucking, i'm sure this will just be the beginning of many relationships that you will build only to have them go on to different types of care.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Love you, Tazz!

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Specializes in Lie detection.

Oh {{{{{{{{{Tazzi}}}}}}}} this is part of Home Health. I can say that for me, it makes me feel like an honored part in the pt's care.

I've had a couple of pt's choose to die at home and NOT want to transfer to hospice but instead stay with us (Long Term HH). So I was with them the whole journey. It's a challenge but a blessing as well.

Tazzi, you made an impact and feel proud and honored that you touched this lady the way you did. Tears are ok.

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and the love goes both ways.

:)

It does.

Tazzi, you brought love and kindness to this lady.

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it was the way she said "you're not coming back?" that got to me. the "i love you" pushed me over the edge. i honestly do hope that i was able to bring a little sunshine into her last days.

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you are in my prayers!

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I honestly do hope that I was able to bring a little sunshine into her last days.

you were the warm, safe blanket that let her sleep.

leslie

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