I got myself in a sort of mess.... - page 4

Put all your feelings about homosexuality aside. Homophobes need not respond. Sorry, just had to say that, since that is not the issue. Anyway, we have a nurse who is male (boderline personality... Read More

  1. by   Audreyfay
    I'm with nurse izzy. Go to the supervisor. You have already tried to discourage it, and it hasn't worked. The only thing you have not tried by yourself is to say the "H" word. "This is sexual harassment. If it does not stop NOW, I will report it." But, do you want him out or in? If out, report it now. If in, try by yourself, if it doesn't work, go to the supervisor. Good luck. Let us know what happens.
  2. by   itsme
    Well, in my book, sexual harassement is sexual harassement. It doesnt matter what a persons sexual preference is. Now I need to vent!! It is NO ONES business what anyones sexual preference is, not mine, yours or the guy/gal next door. That is a very personal thing. My daughter is in 9th grade and one of her best friends is gay. He is a wonderful kid, and he is so afraid of being "found out" becasue it is a small town. I wish people werent so closed minded. it just infuriates me to no end when people are homophobic, racist, or any of that other crap. It is what is in a persons heart that matters, not what they do in the privacy of there own home, or what color they are, or what religion, or anything.... Thanks for listening! And, 3rd shift guy, my thoughts are with you, and I am sending hugs and smiles your way. You have tons of support here with me and with all of us!! Please keep us updated and stay strong about this- it is NOT your mess, it is the jerks mess!
  3. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    This guy sounds exactly like an RN I worked with a few years ago. I'm female, and he is a (gay) male but he harrassed me in another way, not sexual, but verbal abuse and threats of physical violence. I reported him. The company scheduled a meeting to speak to him, and he brought a lawyer to the meeting. This scared the administration and the wimps backed down.

    I quit because of this guy. He was later fired, and was under investigation by The State Board for suspicion of contributing to pt deaths at the inpt hospice where we worked. Charges were never brought against him, due to lack of evidence.

    The company called and asked me to come back, but I declined. I was very put-off by their refusal to stand up to this psycho nurse and discipline/report him.

    Maybe this is the same guy? He was definitely a borderline.

    Your issue with this nurse is not an issue of sexual orientation; it's an issue of immoral, inappropriate and illegal behavior on the part of your co-worker.

    If you do not wish to protect yourself from this kind of person, that's one thing. But- you are obligated to protect your other co-workers and your PATIENTS from such a person.

    Keep a running log of what inappropriate things he says and does, and the time and date of each incident, including your response. Go to your administration with it.

    You know what you need to do.
  4. by   Dr. Kate
    Curious this thread should reappear.

    Had an experience about two weeks ago with a security guard dealing in unwanted sexual inuendo, sexually related questioning, note writing, etc., with every young female clerk on duty and many of the housekeeping staff. It took until midday for someone to finally come and tell me about it (I was the supervisor that day) but once they did I investigated the situation, consulted with the lead security officer and the AOC, and had the guy out of the hospital in just over an hour.

    Managers and supervisors can't do a thing unless you tell them what is going on. If there is any tangible evidence, e.g., notes or gifts, they should be kept not destroyed.
  5. by   Tweety
    Gee, I accidentally found this thread. I thought it disappeared. (I never really meant for it to go here, but on another board).

    Thanks for all the great advice.
  6. by   nursedawn67
    I have to agree with everyone here....good luck and we're here for ya!
  7. by   RNFROG3
    So thirdshiftguy --what's up? Is he gone or behaving ? What happened curious how you handled it ? Hope everything is hunky-dory>God now I sound like an ol geezer haven't heard that phrase since I was little!
  8. by   passing thru
    The Place you work, 3rd shift guy, reminds me of the old British sitcom--UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS- with all the intrigues, and personal interactions going on. Didn't you just write one about the favorites , and pals, and the bad guy, and the guy who was transferred out to the ER never to return? How do you all ever relate to the patients? with all this other stuff going on?
  9. by   RNonsense
    ditto to all the above. ..just wanted to add my support here!
  10. by   flowerchild
    Hi 3rdShiftGuy! You know this is sexual harrassment. Since you like the guy as far as his work goes, I suggest the same as another poster of being very blunt. Tell him what he is doing is against the law and you can no longer tolerate it. If he is incapable of understanding this and cont, report him.
    Remember, in most situations, that people will only do what you allow them to do to you. Don't let him get away with this any longer. My thoughts are with you. I hope this guy will understand and back off for your sake. I wonder if there are others that he does this to?
  11. by   VickiRN
    report him
  12. by   abnurse
    I went through this last year, so I know how you feel. It will only get worse if you try to ignore it. I went to my supervisor and an internal investigation took place. He was given a warning and a copy of the sexual harassment policy at our facility. No one else on the floor knew of the charges and the behavior stopped. We have worked along side each other since this occurrence and he has treated me with respect. Good luck!
  13. by   RED_ALERT37
    Can you spell ...... SEXUAL HARRASSMENT ??? I think in every hospital I have been to there is a policy on sexual harrassment. If he is subjecting you to this..... who else is he doing it to? Co-workers, family members, patients ???? I think not only do you need to tell him to back off, but also that you are reporting him and do it ....... Homophobia has nothing to do with it, its a matter of professional conduct.