I got myself in a sort of mess.... - page 2
Put all your feelings about homosexuality aside. Homophobes need not respond. Sorry, just had to say that, since that is not the issue. Anyway, we have a nurse who is male (boderline personality... Read More
Dec 17, '02Occupation: Ob/Gyn RN Joined: Sep '01; Posts: 927; Likes: 2that is sexual harrassment pure and simple and you should not have to put up with it.Tell him to stop,them talk to your supervisor.Report it.Don't worry about his license.We don't need nurses like him.
Dec 17, '02Occupation: BSCN peds/nicu Joined: Jan '04; Posts: 0I agree with everyone here, he knows what he is doing is wrong. Report him and get rid of him ASAP!!!! If your supervisors do not act appropriately, get a lawyer! No one should have to deal with this crap!!!! We're all behind you.
Dec 17, '02Occupation: RN in Nursing Education; House Supervision; Editor RNdex Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 427; Likes: 9Can't add to the advice given so far, but will comment. While you would like to hope this guy would understand that he is once again jeopardizing his license, clearly he doesn't. That is not your problem. Sexual predators of any kind have no business in a profession that involves caring for the weak and vulnerable. It is up to those who are neither weak nor vulnerable to speak out when necessary.
Know we're with you whenever and however you need us.
Dec 17, '02Occupation: RN Case Manager Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 4,945; Likes: 27Ditto to all advice and thoughts expressed above.
You don't deserve this and being gay does not make his unwanted advances acceptable in any case.
Dec 17, '02Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 4,738; Likes: 104If you're uncomfortable with the length of time you've let go, tell him you're not going to take it anymore -- he will be reported if he does it again. Sounds like a real piece of work. Don't you be worried about his losing his licence -- he's responsible for his own behaviour -- you should not feel guilt.
Dec 17, '02Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 3,872; Likes: 18I second all of the above posters! You shouldn't have to put up with sexual harassment, regardless of your sexuality. Report him NOW!!!...before it goes any further!
Hugs to you....
Dec 17, '02From: NY, US ; Joined: May '02; Posts: 4,130; Likes: 91ditto all of the above....
do it and do it now....
hugs & support heading your way!!!
Dec 17, '02Occupation: Quality Nurse & Home Health Nurse Joined: Dec '99; Posts: 3,786; Likes: 129Ditto ditto ditto!!!
We're here to support you!
Dec 18, '02Occupation: critical care Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 182; Likes: 1I agree with the previous postings. Tell him if he continues he will be reported, and then do so. Always remember, we can not take responsibility for the actions of others or the consequences they reap. We can only control our own behavior and reactions.
Dec 18, '02Joined: Nov '00; Posts: 931; Likes: 18Two comments to add:
The length of time this has gone on actually gives credibility to the complaint. How many times and in how many ways can a person hear "no" and not respect your refusal? The fact that he continued the advances doesn't reflect on you, but on him. Remember that in harrassment it isn't the individual events that are important, but the PATTERN and DURATION of them that makes it harrassment!
Also, you are truly a good guy. But, sometimes it is destructive to yourself to always think of another. His license, feelings, career, etc., is not your problem. You are not responsible for his actions or the consequences of them.
So, please remove those two hesitations and self-doubt from your mind!
I add my support to the others. Please keep us informed!
Dec 18, '02Joined: Nov '00; Posts: 931; Likes: 18From the EEOC website:
The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
Facts About Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.
Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:
The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex.
The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee.
The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.
It is helpful for the victim to directly inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. The victim should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available.
When investigating allegations of sexual harassment, EEOC looks at the whole record: the circumstances, such as the nature of the sexual advances, and the context in which the alleged incidents occurred. A determination on the allegations is made from the facts on a case-by-case basis.
Prevention is the best tool to eliminate sexual harassment in the workplace. Employers are encouraged to take steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring. They should clearly communicate to employees that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. They can do so by establishing an effective complaint or grievance process and taking immediate and appropriate action when an employee complains
Dec 18, '02Joined: Dec '01; Posts: 3,165; Likes: 593rd shiftguy--
When you say "I got myself into a mess" == honey, this is NOT your fault that some idiot is coming on to you. You need to stop him; he obviously isn't getting the message.
Please don't feel guilty about stopping this behavior any way you can. This is why victims are so reluctant to come foward.
And also, how's your partner with all this? You have discussed it with him, haven't you?
Dec 18, '02Occupation: ER RN Specialty: ER,ICU,L&D,OR,ETC ; Joined: May '01; Posts: 5,588; Likes: 566Howdy yall
Im just a simple ole country boy. I think you should meet him away from work somewhere and beat the **** out of him.
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