How did this happen! Help I don't want to be this kind of nurse!!

[female12233]

I've been in nursing for a little while now. I originally started working in a crap LTC facility in the laundry department. I've since then moved up the line every step of the way into the next position. From Laundry to CNA to Med. Tech to Lpn and finally done with RN school and waiting to take my boards next week. WISH ME LUCK!! But that's not the problem. I started at my first hospital experience last November in general I like my fellow nurses but that where it becomes a problem. We're all around the same age, all young twenty somethings and I find that we talk about the patients a lot. Now im sure everyone every once in a while will say pt so and so over here is driving me crazy or if you have frequent visits by the same pt that oh you know whos back again! Only ive noticed that this has started to spread into other patients as well. We do a lot of bariatric surgery on our floor. We see a lot of people come back into the hospital with complaints of nausea and vomiting and of course they get admitted these are also the same type of pt that vomit and then whine because they cant have a diet order. Or we get the patients that come in and they want those drugs by golly. And by no means do they want the po stuff nope it's ivp all the way for them!! I don't want to be a cynical nurse that's not me and I really do like my job i get rare moments that you don't get in nursing in other places. I get to be that compassionate caregiver or that shoulder to cry on. But the other side of me just looks at some pt and goes god why me? Why do i have to have the pt that's probably not even sick and just wants the morphine or that diluadid. Just last time I worked a lady 13wks. preg. got admitted and sent to our floor (which is supposed to be a post-op unit) for get this N/V. go figure pregnant and vomiting but whatever.. I read in her history "pt states she comes in frequently because knows she'll get morphine" Medical Doc said no to morphine but the OB doc came in and said ok 4mg x 1 which she kindly followed up with a "she probables gonna terminate anyway" as if that made everything huncky dorey IDk i'm just incredibly frustrated i guess. I don't want to be like that towards my patients because i know that judging them is affecting the way i care for them wheather or not i want to admit it. Does anyone have an advice? Any coping mechanisms? :icon_roll how do i transform from this nuse to this nurse

[DA314]

It is easy to become cynical and judge people in this line of work. I'm still just a tech and nursing student, but I've seen pts. from every walk of life, with every condition imaginable. We see the people who got drunk, drove, crashed and killed the passenger, and they're crying over the pain from their broken leg. We see the pts. that are admitted IV drug users asking for pain meds every 4 hours on the dot, we get the "shortness of breath" pts. that run you all night asking for food, sodas, extra blankets, basically treating you like they are ata 5-star hotel. I was discussing this with an RN at work one night and she said something that changed my whole attitude.

She said "You know, these pts. are here for 2-3 days usually. We have no idea what road they have to walk when they leave here. Why not treat them like they're at a 5-star resort? We get paid great money, and it is our job to serve these pts." She also went on to say that we are not here to diagnose and treat a drug problem, we are here to treat the condition for which they were admitted and to make sure they get a little extra care, because when we're not feeling well, we all want to be babied.

That really made me think about my attitude. She was right. I went into health care because I'm a nurturer. I understand that there is a limit, because we want to promotoe independence, but if a pt. had pain meds ordered and they're asking for them, why not give them?

Sometimes it gets hectic, and we often get frustrated, but at the end of the day, I would rather know i gave all I could to my pts. than regret that I didn't give the best care because I was being judemental.

BTW- I also try to keep in mind that it is not my job to judge, that is for God. I try to remember that when I slip into the situations you have described.

[leslie :-D]

first of all female, i applaud your tenacity in becoming an rn- congratulations.

i esp appreciate your insight and resolve in aspiring to be less judgmental.

that said, i believe that all of us have felt this way at one time or another.

it's normal, it's understandable, it's human.

i made an effortless transition from being condescending, to being sympathetic.

afterall, who would want to walk in the shoes of an addict, or chronically feeling needy/vulnerable/demanding?

it really must be a miserable existence.

and so, no matter what type of challenging pt i have, i thank God that my pt isn't me, and give my personal best in treating them with dignity and respect.

please, do not misinterpret my post in thinking that i am the eternally compassionate nurse.

heck no.

but i am sincere in stating that i genuinely pity those pts, who act in a way that would belittle anyone's sense of self-respect...

and makes me extremely appreciative that i am not them.

you're ahead of the game already, by recognizing your attitude towards these pts.

again, i applaud you, and wish you the best of everything.

leslie

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

afterall, who would want to walk in the shoes of an addict, or chronically feeling needy/vulnerable/demanding?

it really must be a miserable existence.

and so, no matter what type of challenging pt i have, i thank God that my pt isn't me, and give my personal best in treating them with dignity and respect

leslie

How true... It sure put things into perspective. I do the same thing when caring for my pts. They are all on vents (long term), when they frustrate me I think to myself "at least I can WALK out of here at the end of the day and BREATHE on my own..."

Best to you, OP.. I love your attitude.

Diane

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

Leslie-

I always enjoy reading your posts. They are always so full of wisdom and great advice!

Best,

Diane

[fathertod]

You don't transform into the patron saint of holistic nursing, but you have already transformed into the cynical nurse. You will need to adjust and get used to your new cynical attitude or else you will get burned out. Find other ways to cope if you can.

[montinurse, BSN]

I too have worked from CNA up (and many other jobs) and have finally been an RN for about six months now. I work on a busy med-surg floor, and see many different people. I have recently transitioned to the cynical side, after numerous zofran, phenergan, demerol, morphine, etc pushes. One time, I was close to making an error d/t timing. I was very resentful that this patient's neediness almost made me have a med error!

I have learned to watch and double check every step I make, never judge from the off-going nurses report, and keep my opinions to myself! For a time, I truly thought I was turning evil, based on all the negative thoughts I have towards people. Then a really good team of patients came along to turn my cynicism into compassion again! I think it all goes in spurts in order for us to survive. We're under a great deal of stress when we work....SOMETHING is needed to get us through it. I think it's a built in defense mechanism. (for long term coping). thanks for your post.

Jenny

[JustEnuff2BDangerous, BSN, RN]

I had a teacher in nursing school who was the most genuinely compassionate nurse I have ever met. One of her main goals was to teach us compassionate by practice, to be kind and considerate and patient with patients even if we were cynical about them. I do not think it's "bad" for you to be cynical, but if you choose to be cynical you must remember that you chose this profession because you want to help people. You wanted to be there for them in their time of need, to comfort them, to ease their pain, and to make their life better. And the best way to do that is to give them what they ask for (as long as the doctor orders it, obviously! ), even if you think they just want it because of ________. You may really be helping them in the best way. It's the small things in life that matter, and that extra blanket or pillow may just be what they needed. It's a pain and a struggle somedays whenever you feel like you're the patient's personal "go-fer", I'm totally with you on that! But at the end of the day, whether you know it or not, the kindness you showed them without complaint or impatience will be what they remember. :)

My favorite quote ever: "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

[oramar]

I don't think having those moments you describe make you a bad nurse or a bad person. I certainly have had them but I always stopped, took a deep breath, reminded myself of my mission and tried to regain my sense of purpose. I would then continue on with my duties. PS One of the best nurses I ever worked with(just thought I would mention that she was an LPN), who was also a kind and decent person, told me once that she prayed for focus and empathy on her way into work everyday. I tried it and it helped me. But not everyone is open to such a suggestion and I totally respect that, how about meditation or yoga or something on that line for those who are not into prayer.

[navvet]

If a man ask for your shirt, give him your coat as well.....

[DManAZRN]

Speaking of coats.... I had a ratty lookin' family member steal my leather jacket once.

At least he will be warm I thought. Warn out anyway, matched what he was wearing.

As for a cynicism... how can you not be? Of course nurses are cynical. We watch doctors turn a blind eye to this all the time. We know it's drug abuse but hey, who am I too judge? It is the doctors liability to treat the drug abuse, period. Unfortunately they know the system too, and are too cynical to bother. Oh well, just say no to drugs right?, just not in a hospital. Those patients make sure to be "problems" if they don't get it. Just hookem' up to a PCA and send them home with home health!~(not really)

The doctors comment is really reflecting his attitude all too well. How he looks in a mirror every morning, I don't know. That's between him and whoever pieced him together from leftovers when he was created.

[RNperdiem, RN]

I work in Surgery/Trauma. If all patients were model citizens, and substance abuse dropped to zero, I might well find myself out of a job.