Gross Things Patients Do - page 3

I have seen some pretty questionable activity by patients, but this one got me. It also got me wondering: What other disgusting things do patients do? I had a patient with a large pannus riddled... Read More

  1. by   TruvyNurse
    I've caught patients and their significant others doing the dirty deed. Not the grossest thing in world but I don't want to see it!! Lol
  2. by   NursingNapsNetflix
    "Myself, probably the grossest I've encountered (which really pales in comparison to most of the above stories, dang guys!), was a woman so frustrated with her constipation that she attempted to disimpact herself. It didn't really work, and her fingernails were so warped and brittle and jagged that cleaning them thoroughly afterwards was a nightmare."

    I work on a Postpartum floor, with perfectly "normal" AxOx3 people and I have seen this. Most recently a patient pulled the emergency cord in the bathroom and I went running in, she's screaming get it out, get it out! Please nurse pull my poop out! It hurts!
    I was speechless, all I could do was tell her to relax and breathe, no way was I going back there!
    Last edit by NursingNapsNetflix on Jul 21, '17 : Reason: didn't know how to quote
  3. by   brownbook
    This pales in comparison, but I had a patient's wife ask me if I had some safety or bandage scissors she could borrow. I actually knew her, had gone to school with her daughter. Anyway I stupidly said yes and gave her my scissors. She proceeded to cut her husband's nostril hairs, then handed them back to me. YUCK....I tossed them in the sharp container.
  4. by   NurseSpeedy
    Quote from TheMoonisMyLantern
    During my first year as a nurse I admitted a female patient with a history severe mental illness to a med/surg floor. They had ordered a Foley cath to be inserted and as I was cleaning her peri area I noticed something protruding from her vagina. I removed what appeared to be a partially eaten bologna sandwich and it had been down there for a while, the stench was horrendous. I asked the patient why she had placed it there and she told me matter of fact, "To keep it warm for later."

    I about lost my lunch.
    Oh, this takes the cake...or in her case maybe the sandwich...yuck!
  5. by   NurseSpeedy
    Quote from TruvyNurse
    I've caught patients and their significant others doing the dirty deed. Not the grossest thing in world but I don't want to see it!! Lol
    So have our careview cameras...the patients know about the's pretty obvious...I'd like to know how much we have to pay the monitor tech getting the eyeful...barf!
  6. by   IrishCMSRN
    I had a patient that felt it was necessary to masturbate while attached to a cardiac monitor. ....His HR alarms started alerting on the nurses station screen and several nurses ran in to find the sheets flapping away!!!
  7. by   IrishCMSRN
    Also had a patient who would poop and hide it in the drawers in his
  8. by   HaleyRoseRN
    Not exactly gross but surprising? ...

    I work on a neuro step down unit & had a pleasantly confused elderly female patient recently. We have individual hand sanitizer bottles that we (sometimes) leave for patients on their bedside tables. She put the sanitizer in her lady parts, told me about it later, and said "Honey, I wouldn't recommend it."

    I honestly can't make this stuff up.
  9. by   RNGummy40
    With psychiatric patients, their is no end to the creativity they may display during a shift. One patient added vomit to their drinks and food, then attempted to eat the creations they made. Another patient may have been watching a make up commercial, their was "BROWNIE MIX," all over her face, and they were trying to lick their fingers. There once was a patient who drank their urine, and attempted to let it age before doing so. Nothing really shocks me. If anything, I am surprised at other people when they become shocked.
  10. by   Nita Faye
    OK. My first gag in YEARS!!!
  11. by   kabes4
    Maybe not the grossest, but while working a med surg floor had a patient bite her IV tubing in half and was drinking the blood transfusion. She thought it was more effective that way
  12. by   Penelope_Pitstop
    Quote from KatieMI
    I am an avid baker with particular passion toward wild yeast sourdoughs. So, when I happen to meet my "colleagues", talks naturally tend to turn toward starters, sponges and flour mixes. That happened with the daughter of a patient I cared for one day.

    At the end of the nice chat, we agreed to exchange starters, which is quite normal thing for bakers to do. I brought her a piece of my dough, and she fave me a bit of hers. I used it for my next batch and it worked, albeit unusually slow, but the bread turned out good. Next shift, I told the daughter about it and she, smiling like a winner, let me know about the source of the yeasts she used to develop her starter. According to her, it was material from her mother's groin (which was all covered with candida all right). She thought that it was "most natural source of yeasts" and "it even smelled like a good old dough".

    Only hard knowledge that it physically couldn't be THOSE yeasts prevented me from puking then and there.
  13. by   ERnurse21594
    Quote from That Guy
    Pt had a clogged trach. He takes it out and licks it clean, and sucks out the clog like its a damn milkshake. I even said "what the hell" and he said thats how he always does it at home.
    I really really and truly hope I never have an experience that tops that.