Gross Things Patients Do

[bluegeegoo2]

I have seen some pretty questionable activity by patients, but this one got me. It also got me wondering: What other disgusting things do patients do?

I had a patient with a large pannus riddled with open sores that were positive for MRSA. As I'm cleaning them she kept poking her fingers in them. "This one (squish!) popped up about 2 weeks ago, and this one (poke!) about a week ago..." Ugh. I advise her not to touch the open wounds...and move along. I apply the ordered Medihoney and turn my head to get the dry drsg, when, out of the corner of my eye I see her put her finger in her mouth and (gleefully) exclaim "It DOES taste like honey! I wonder if you could eat it?..." Urp! Ralph! I tell her that while you can TECHNICALLY eat anything you can put in your mouth, it's probably not a good idea, finish up and quickly leave. Shaking my head. People never cease to amaze (and disgust) me.

[Davey Do]

I walked into a patient room one day to witness an AAO patient eating his smegma - that was uncomfortable.

Perhaps, 3ring, you needed to say...

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[booradley]

I had a pt admitted for some respiratory condition that now escapes me. I went to empty his urinal one morning and noticed clots of blood in the urine. I was very concerned about these large clots of blood and tried to ask him about it but he did not have English as his first language. The resident came to see him and was also concerned. The resident went to put in orders etc while I was in the room. The patient started hocking up a huge loogey which he spat into the urine bottle. All of a sudden the big red clots bobbing in the urine made a lot more sense. This pt was actually very lovely in every other way but this was an image that has never left me.

[blackmamba123]

Pt had a clogged trach. He takes it out and licks it clean, and sucks out the clog like its a damn milkshake. I even said "what the hell" and he said thats how he always does it at home.

OMG, literally could not make it past this post for fear of what I might read, and my upchuck reflex. SO GROSS!!!! Exiting stage left to work on erasing that visual.

[NurseRoRo]

@ TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, RNre: bologna sandwich

No. Please no, I didn't read this correctly!?? I used to work in a women's hospital in the operating room.....I took those 2 minute lady partsl preps very seriously sometimes....even when masked, there are some scents that seep into your nostrils.

[NurseRoRo]

I have seen far far worse. I had a patient that was bulemic. She would eat and eat until she would make herself sick. After she would vomit she would save her emesis in an empty 2 liter soda bottle. For those with a queasy stomach look away. Look away now. She would actually drink her emesis that she had saved in that 2 liter soda bottle. I have been a RN since 1994. Before I went to nursing school I was a Hospital corpsman in the navy. When I started university I worked as an OR tech while completing my core curriculum. I have seen some patients do some disgusting things but this... this one was indescribably grotesque.

I'm not sure if I'm horrified or impressed that she apparently thought this was a logical thing to do. Yikes.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

used to have a guy who would have one of those back scratchers and he would ask us if we could scratch his,umm, testicles , with it.

[3ringnursing, BSN]

used to have a guy who would have one of those back scratchers and he would ask us if we could scratch his,umm, testicles , with it.

He had the scratcher - he can scratch his own darned testicles.

[3ringnursing, BSN]

This happened to one of my cena's: I had a res that was constantly putting her hands on and in her hoohaa every time staff changed her brief. So cena was talking to the res while changing the brief, res went to town scratching away and then promptly stuck her fingers in cena's mouth. Cena came running up to the desk gagging , went into clean utility, grabbed tooth brush, toothpaste, mouth wash, and peroxide and scrubbed, rinsed, garggled and repeated mult x's. Being nurses, we all about died laughing . Poor cena now was doing the above cleaning interspersed with cussing us out!

I would think the CNA would be so traumatized that he/she would wear one of those head helmets that they test your TB mask seal with from then on while providing patient care - or a muzzle.

(((Personally I may have considered adding good ole bleach to that amalgamation, gargled with hand sanitizer ... then promptly emptied my stomach from the toes up, and gone home)))

[3ringnursing, BSN]

Perhaps, 3ring, you needed to say...

hahahahaha!!!

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

He had the scratcher - he can scratch his own darned testicles.

he was 550 lbs:wideyed: altho would try himself.....

[3ringnursing, BSN]

he was 550 lbs:wideyed: altho would try himself.....

Perhaps a longer scratcher?

[bluescrubs, ADN, ASN, RN]

This happened to one of my cena's: I had a res that was constantly putting her hands on and in her hoohaa every time staff changed her brief. So cena was talking to the res while changing the brief, res went to town scratching away and then promptly stuck her fingers in cena's mouth. Cena came running up to the desk gagging , went into clean utility, grabbed tooth brush, toothpaste, mouth wash, and peroxide and scrubbed, rinsed, garggled and repeated mult x's. Being nurses, we all about died laughing . Poor cena now was doing the above cleaning interspersed with cussing us out!

If I didn't have a heart would have bitten those fingers clean off as revenge. If I have to suffer, so will she!