Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 4

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More

  1. by   andrewsgranny
    All these poop stories are too funny. I have one thats not related to nursing. My 2 month old neice and her mom came to visit. Of course during the visit the baby had a bm. Being the "great aunt"
    that I am I volunteered to change her. I pulled back the diaper and to my surprise she wasnt finished. She let out a grunt like a grown man, and with the force of a tornado came this explosen of poop! I looked down and it was all over me, and even shot across the room about 6 ft. It was unbelieveable. And what a mess to clean up. But she sure felt better. And was such a happy baby afterwards.=lol:chuckle :kiss
  2. by   NurseLKY
    i just love lactulose poop or how about c-diff poop. It is a smell you will never forget.
  3. by   st4304
    Just thought I would let you know today a co-worker and I were reading these posts and laughing so hard we were crying. About that time my boss brought about 15 nursing students into our cath lab for a tour. I tried to straighten up and act like a professional, but it was impossible. I just clicked off the computer and went into another room. The students were looking at us like we were nuts. . .oh well...:chuckle

    I have another poop story. My friend D. is the manager of the ED. He told me the other night they brought in two Mexicans who could not speak a work of English and both had been involved in a MVA and had head lacerations with concussions. While one was waiting for the doc to stitch him up, he was trying to tell his nurse that he needed something. She just could not figure out what he was trying to say. Finally, she realized he was wanting to walk to the BR. Well, with his head injury, he couldn't do that! So she brought him a urinal. He looked at it and started to speak animatedly, but she just told him he was just going to have to pee in the urinal, so get over it, and she stepped around the curtain to let him to do his duty.

    A few minutes later she returned. He was lying back on the cart being quiet. She bent over to pick the urinal up to empty it when to her surprise, inside the urinal was a turd the size of a small loaf of bread! The lid was on it and there was no other mess. (What he used to wipe with, we have no idea, so we're kind of guessing he didn't. . .Ewwwwwww!) :uhoh21: To hear D. tell it is hilarious.

    Everyone have a great night!

  4. by   Chris81
    got home from work tonight, the boy up with an asthma attack-do we ever really punch out from work? and in order to help relax him after a couple of puffers, we sat down to read mom's favorite website. how lucky could i get to find this topic!:chuckle stories too numerous to recount here, but we have come up with a term for when everyones laxatives work on the same shift at the same time-code brown, hall 2, code brown hall 2 :chuckle :roll :chuckle . i just love this site, and now my son knows what nurses find so fascinating about poop-everything!
  5. by   shootemrn
    Okay folks I hold my hand on a bible and have witnesses to the following poop story is complety true.

    I work in The ED of my hospital and we get a frequent flier who is the most disgusting woman in the world. first a brief history about this patient. When she is not admitted to our hospital whe is in our ER constantly. She has had two respiratory arrests in the last year and smokes about three packs a day while on O2 at 4L a minute. She has a colostomy and when it is full she throws it on the floor. She constantly calls 911 when she runs out of colostomy bags or is drug seeking. Smokes in her room when she is admitted while on oxygen and the floor nurse litearely pay other nurses to put her on their assignment. Okay now on to the poop story!

    A fellow nurse asked me and the paramedic to start a IV on this lady since she has awful access. I was on one arm and the medic was on the other. All of a sudden we hear a awful grumbling sound from the patient. The medic and I looked at each other and he said "I think she is perculating" all of sudden we hear a gush like someone pouring a pitcher of water. I looked down and saw a HUGE amount of watery putrid smelling stool dripping of the bed onto my shoes and off of her heels. I asked the medic to get some help and of course the nurses were all "involved" So the medic and I were trying to clean her upand change her johhny. she was literally coverd from head to toe. When I took her johnny off I found a pack of cigarettes in her bra. I said "you really dont need these" and grabbed the pack and turned to place them on the table. When I turned back around i caught a slap on my face from the patient. Did I mention that her hand was covered in watery putrid stool. I was stunned and turned and walked to the scrub sink and stuck my head underneath. Then I did something that I never did in my 10 years of nursing. I woofed my cookies.
    I must say that was the most disgusting thing I have ever lived through. The next time I see this patient I will buy her a carton of unfiltered cigarretts.:imbar
    Last edit by shootemrn on Jun 5, '02
  6. by   Sleepyeyes
    Rule # 1:

    You must wear safety glasses and face shield if you are cleaning a Pt's behind and you are stupid enough to try to see what you are doing when you lift the right cheek and the Pt. is full of gas/diarrhea.

    Rule #2:

    Do Not Talk during this procedure.

    (I thought my co-worker was gonna lose her lunch when she saw MY face while I worried about how I was gonna get it off and then explain it to the I.C. staff...... :imbar: :uhoh21:
  7. by   nursejws
    shootemrn --- I think I AM going to toss my cookies after reading that.

    HEATHER, where is that puking smiley????
  8. by   TracyB,RN
    OMG, I am totally LMAO. These are too funny. Even my 13 yr old is strangely fascinated. Colleen, I had a similar problem years ago after a visit to Pizza Hut. How embarrassing, thank God, no one saw me. Also, when I was about 7, my mom was in the bathroom, reading, of course, LOL. I had to GO, & bad. None of the neighbors were home, so I did the next best thing, I dumped out my giant plastic frog toy box & used that. With my 7 year old logic, I figured she would be less mad b/c it would be easier to clean the plastic than my pants. Boy, was I wrong!!!!
  9. by   zudy
    Here's my fav poop story, a PCT I used to work with worked in LTC. ONe of her favorite pts wasn't eating well, and was losing wt, so the dr ordered a calorie count, and asked everyone to encourage the pt to eat. The PCT went in to pick up her dinner tray after she had eates, and the pt had put metal dome back over her plate. The
    PCT asked her, " Now, Miss Mary, did you eat a good supper?" "Yes, mam, I sure did!" "Are you sure?" " Yes , I am sure" " Now Miss Mary, you know I hace to checked your tray to make sure you ate a good supper!" " Yes,mam, I know , you just go ahead and check!" So the PCT lifts up the dome, and on top of the food was an enormas POOP! She said the pt laughed at her for days!! :chuckle
  10. by   Katana
    Back in the days when hemorrhoidectomy patients stayed in the hospital untill they had their first BM, we had a male patient who either couldn't, wouldn't or was affaid to have his first BM post op.

    We were to the point where we were giving him 60 cc's of mineral oil and 120 ccs of MOM twice a day and it was 4 days post op and still nothing.

    We had the patients use the bathtub for sitz baths back in those days, too.

    On Day 5, he was in the tub when a blood curdling scream had all the staff running down to the room. There he was sitting in the tub of water with the biggest, longest turd I have ever seen... it came up from his behind, around his left hip, and literally drapped across his lap.

    We all broke out laughing and he just kept screaming, 'Get it off me. Get it off me!!!!'

    Took two staff to get the Monster off of his laugh. Rolled it up in a plastic bag and tossed it in the dumpster in the dirty U.

    Finally, when he was out of the tub and dry, he could see the funny side of things and laughed with us. The Dr. discharged him that day, too.

    Hope he's never had another attack of the Turd Monster cause we wouldn't be there to save him!

  11. by   shootemrn
    Katana that was soo funny.
  12. by   Whisper
    LOL and I really mean it, one of my house mates came to check that I was okay, or if I had lost my marbles!! I love the turd monster story. The only one I can think of is with a demtia pt who would drop their pants in the middle of the corridor or walk up to you to give you a present! I never knew it was possible to put on gloves so quickly.
  13. by   YukonSean
    My stomach is in knots from reading these vile stories. (Yet, I admit that, as in the "train wreck" phenomenon, I could not stop looking until I reached the last posting on this list.) Why do you think I do psych? I would rather be spat upon than shat on.