Doctors Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018 - page 3

The doctor said WHAT?!?! Some of what is said is jaw-dropping, other phrases uttered are unbelievable while other things heard from the mouths of doctors leave you shaking your head is disbelief for... Read More

  1. by   Racer15
    "Hey bro!" as he enters a patient room with his baseball cap flipped backwards, oi.
  2. by   mmc51264
    just this weekend, a resident, who is almost done with first year, puts in an order for pt to be NPO at midnight , starting at 1159. (they have started going a minute before or after 0000 because of confusion). Well of course THAT IS LUNCHTIME. I call the resident on call to get him to fix it. He asked who ordered it that way so he could give them a hard time. I told him who it was, it is one that is not going to make it-makes a lot of mistakes. My resident fixed it. I told that other resident makes a lot mistakes and he says, That's why we have you nurse to catch these! Wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a bit of arrogance. Never had one say something like that so blatantly
    The good ones do learn early how to let the nurses help and the hell there is to pay if you ever throw one under the bus.
  3. by   Nurseways
    I once worked in a busy LDRP unit where had Family Medicine Residents completed their OB rotations. One night, a patient at 34 weeks gestation, with a partial abruption, started having a non-reassuring fetal heart tracing.

    After the normal interventions (change positions, fluid bolus, O2) the fetal heart tracing started improving. However, there were still some occasional DEEP decelerations.

    I took the patient's food and water and explained what was happening with her baby's heart rate and that at this time not to eat or drink anything. The patient was aware and agreed.

    The on-call first-year resident came into the room came into the room as I was explaining everything to the patient and her husband. The resident said to me, "I need to speak to you." So we stepped out of the room.

    She (the resident) pretty much reamed me out. "How dare you give orders to MY patient, without even talking to me. I think this patient is dehydrated, so give her her PO fluids back right now."

    I very calmly explained about the fetal heart tracing, and that while it was better it wasn't ideal. She stopped me and then said, "I am the doctor you are the nurse, and you will do what I tell you."

    So I reply, "Let me get this straight. You want me to give a patient PO fluids because you're the doctor? The tracing is just now recovering. Why don't we watch it for a bit, and then if it stabilizes we can give her PO fluids back."

    "Well, I guess that would be okay, but her lips are cracked, that means dehydration. I want you to give her some Glycerin swabs, and make that STAT!" Our unit didn't even stock Glycerin swabs!

    It wasn't five minutes later, the fetal heart rate had a prolonged deceleration, and we rushed her to the OR for an emergency Cesarean Section. She never got those Glycerin swabs!
  4. by   Babynursefaith
    We had a resident trying to tell a pregnant woman that she was going to check her cervix. The patient only spoke spanish. The resident told the patient "checkar su pollo" which in Spanish means, check your chicken. The patient amazingly enough just assumed the position for checking.
  5. by   Davey Do
    Quote from Babynursefaith
    We had a resident trying to tell a pregnant woman that she was going to check her cervix. The patient only spoke spanish. The resident told the patient "checkar su pollo" which in Spanish means, check your chicken. The patient amazingly enough just assumed the position for checking.
  6. by   sonia5219
    There was this particular patient who was a frequent flyer to the hospital and different skilled facilities. The doctor was reviewing his chart before he went in the room. This particular doctor had seen the patient at several other skilled facilities. The doctor goes in the room and I over heard him say, "If death was at midnight, you would be at 11:59pm". I almost passed out when I heard the doctor say this. I just knew a hotline call, the state, Adult protective services would be coming in on Monday. I went in the room to see how the patient was doing. The patient proceed to tell me in the biggest smile and laughter what the doctor said. The patient thought this was the best thing he had ever heard. That shocked me to death.
  7. by   billswife
    We had a particular patient who was frequently admitted due to her heart issues. She was an overly dramatic individual with many, many issues. Her heart problems were real, but some of the others were more attention seeking. I laughed when I read his latest H &P which began "The saga continues..."
  8. by   Penny_Cillin
    In the middle of a 4 vessel CABG, out of nowhere he looks up at the Cardiac Anesthesia Resident and says "You realize you're just a glorified barista, right?" and then casually goes back to sewing the distals. What the....?
  9. by   japowell8
    new resident in the ICU asks me after telling the new resident a Dophoff wont go down... He looks at me and says Do you EVEN know how to do one??? pt ended having a g-tube placed in IR I still let the resident know this today
  10. by   Smilingnurse1011
    One of my patients was transferred from the ICU to my care on med/surg. He just had a second AKA and was experiencing phantom pains along with surgical pain.
    This particular intensivist doctor was notoriously stingy with medicating patients for pain. But, as the patients advocate I didn't give up! I called the doctor 3 times and he finally called back. His orders were to provide non pharmacologic pain relief by teaching the patient yoga! YOGA!
    I told that stingy man that he can come and teach the patient "downward dog" as I am not a yoga instructor, but in the meantime I needed pain medication for the patient! Namaste!
    I was so nervous, but it paid off, my patient got what he needed and I got to finally tell that man off.
  11. by   Ortho Queen
    I saw one of the doctors I worked with at the store to have him say- " I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on." Then he tried to correct himself after everyone around was staring at me to say I meant not in scrubs, but it was too late.
  12. by   Ac1mckay
    "You just have to float it in." Says the dr to the ER nurse attempting an IV on a long time drug user with tore up veins.
  13. by   Mkelley8989
    I work in a psychiatric facility. One of my patients was scheduled to have court-ordered ECT therapy the next morning and was refusing to go. I called the Psychiatrist to get further orders and ask what we should do. Her exact words and WRITTEN orders were as follows: "Have security pick patient up and place in van for ECT. He can go naked if that's what gets him in there."