Doctors Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018

[Brian S.]

The doctor said WHAT?!?! Some of what is said is jaw-dropping, other phrases uttered are unbelievable while other things heard from the mouths of doctors leave you shaking your head is disbelief for the rest of your shift. Those sayings are truly memorable but when you share them here in the comments below, you could win one of two $250 grand prize amazon.com gift cards as part of our 8 Days of Giveaways.

Nurses Week is all about honoring nurses, appreciating all you do for those in need of care and having some fun along the way! Keep the fun going with our Doctors Say the Darnedest Things contest. Fear not, though, because even if you don't win one of the two $250 amazon.com gran prize gift cards you're still eligible to win one of two runner up prize packs containing some awesome gifts including the items shown in the photo below and plenty more!

What are you waiting for? Tell us those memorable things you've heard doctors say and get that much closer to winning!

There are more contests, too...

• Fill in the Blank Contest
• National Nurses Week Cartoon Caption Contest (sponsored bu rukuku)
• Patients Say the Darnedest Things Contest (sponsored by relode)
• Create a Meme Contest (sponsored by Performance Health)
• Best Tips for Nurses Contest
• Share Your Favorite Motivational Quote (sponsored by Medelita)

Have fun, thanks to all of the nurses across the country and Happy National Nurses Week!!!

National Nurses Week Celebration 30 Days of Celebration / 8 Days of Giveaways

UPDATED May 15 ... and the winner is...

As promised, the winners are posted below. Thanks for all of the awesome and creative entries!!! Feel free to share!

[SwoRN]

There is a doctor that comes in to round on his patients that comes directly to the nurses station and states 'I'll take a coffee, this color *points to his skin*." then goes and sits down and waits for his coffee. I know he is joking, but SMH, get it yourself!

[Sternigp]

Had a jerk doctor who was such an *ss. He would always yell at patients that they have to quit smoking, then would go outside to burn his 2 pack a day habit and other various stupid things. One day, I had already punched out and was walking to the locker room to leave when this doctor came out of a room, looked around, and when he saw me rushed over and demanded I give the patient some water, that they were thirsty. Ok, no problem. I walk into the patients room to grab their big foam water cup to fill it. The cup was full, so I handed it to the patient, who was also confused as to why the doctor couldn't have just handed them the cup when they asked.

[Lindsayj93]

I had been working in substance abuse for about a year and we got a new doctor. We were going over rules with him (he apparently had about 3 years of experience in methadone treatment) and told him that the maximum amount of methadone we could prescribe was 30mg for the first day. He responded with, "So, that means we can't start them out at 80mg?"

[Beourguest]

"He went to the party...but he's not going to dance."

[mcglock1]

I questioned an order and the doctor said, "You nurses keep us doctors from killing patients". He was right!!!!

[Kara11]

So a patient asked me to get a prescription for Xanax from the surgeon before being discharged. He told me no and instructed me to tell her to "Take a Percocet and have a glass of wine".

[vmbennett, BSN]

Dr.- It looks like you are pregnant.

patient- What? I'm pregnant???!!

Dr.- No, but it looks like you are.

"obese lady"

[chipper_RN]

I had a patient who was having right sided facial droop, right sided weakness, and decreased alertness. I called the doctor to get a CT scan and other orders for a potential stroke. The doctor says, "Hmm, let's just watch it for a while and see if it goes away." Umm, no?!? I had to call the nursing supervisor to get her to come evaluate the patient.

[Pamarylis]

Doc who was frustrated pt not improving and family asked for specialist...."I know more than -----. I have been a doctor for ----years and you just need to do what you are told". Needles to say, they were discharged, found another doc who sent them to the specialist and the pt was better immediately.

[GinaJacksonRN]

Last week I asked the attending physician for VTE prophylaxis for my patient who is a double amputee, she hasn't had legs for over 10 years. He told me to make sure I walk her in the halls.

[careyo]

I can't fix stupid but i can sedate it

[lissa2877]

While assisting a physician examining a buttock wound on a paraplegic patient, the physician is pushing around on the "wound" (with his gloved finger) and states...."Oh, this wound has gotten deeper and is tunneling"...Uh, No Doc, it's his rectum your in, not a wound. In all fairness, the patient's anatomy was a little "off" due to his spina bifada but my poor doc was mortified. We still laugh about it!