Doctors Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018

[Brian S.]

The doctor said WHAT?!?! Some of what is said is jaw-dropping, other phrases uttered are unbelievable while other things heard from the mouths of doctors leave you shaking your head is disbelief for the rest of your shift. Those sayings are truly memorable but when you share them here in the comments below, you could win one of two $250 grand prize amazon.com gift cards as part of our 8 Days of Giveaways.

Nurses Week is all about honoring nurses, appreciating all you do for those in need of care and having some fun along the way! Keep the fun going with our Doctors Say the Darnedest Things contest. Fear not, though, because even if you don't win one of the two $250 amazon.com gran prize gift cards you're still eligible to win one of two runner up prize packs containing some awesome gifts including the items shown in the photo below and plenty more!

What are you waiting for? Tell us those memorable things you've heard doctors say and get that much closer to winning!

There are more contests, too...

• Fill in the Blank Contest
• National Nurses Week Cartoon Caption Contest (sponsored bu rukuku)
• Patients Say the Darnedest Things Contest (sponsored by relode)
• Create a Meme Contest (sponsored by Performance Health)
• Best Tips for Nurses Contest
• Share Your Favorite Motivational Quote (sponsored by Medelita)

Have fun, thanks to all of the nurses across the country and Happy National Nurses Week!!!

National Nurses Week Celebration 30 Days of Celebration / 8 Days of Giveaways

UPDATED May 15 ... and the winner is...

As promised, the winners are posted below. Thanks for all of the awesome and creative entries!!! Feel free to share!

[jaxanangel]

This was an experience I had as a patient with a resident. I had emergency surgery after my stomach rupture. BIBA and between the paramedics and initial staff, I was asked my surgical history at least 5 times. After the fifth time, I made it clear they better write it down because I was to drugged up to remember it again. After waking up, I spent an additional 2 hours in recovery waiting for my room to be cleaned before they could move me. The awesome nurses in recovery made sure I got all my meds and they took great care of me. As soon as I was transferred up, right in the middle of trying to get up to pee, a resident starts demanding that I go over my history again with her. Drugged, exhausted and really needing to pee, she got a few choice words from me which she responded with "you can't have your pain meds until you tell me your history." Needless to say a few choice words turned into a white face resident exiting my room faster than anyone I have ever seen any exit.

[oceangirl1234]

Order: Orange juice TID PRN.

[hyperKerriemic]

I work in the ED and we were holding patients. This homeless guy that is a frequent flier and also does cocaine was there again with "chest pain." Business ran as usual until I saw his rhythm changed to ST depression and he was complaining of more chest pain and asking for more pain meds. This is why "the boy who cried wolf" is such a problem because I wasn't thinking too much of his chest pain earlier in the day and even then was like "yea I know, we'll have to call the doc"...later. His labs were fine, first EKG and CXR were fine, etc. Once I saw the change in rhythm, I put a stat call out to the hospitalist to inform him. I also asked for more pain meds and informed him the patient intends to leave AMA, just a courtesy notification on top of the change. The doctor's response: "I don't care about his rhythm change whatsoever, I'm not ordering more pain meds, and he can go walk into traffic on I4 and get hit by a car for all I care. Don't call me again for him." I know I stood there with my jaw on the floor for a couple minutes. He must have some sweet insurance.

[mdcp]

"Is he alive!?"

[DannyBoy8, RN]

"a diffusely positive review of systems".....now where is my call room again.

[mvarelamanso]

Doctor goes in to evaluate a worsening Ulcer. Tells the patient, "Looks good, looks good, see you tomorrow" and leaves

[Missann235]

In Church one Sunday an elderly lady suddenly dropped to the floor after receiving Communion striking her head on the marble alter rail with a sickening thud. I went up to see if I could help and a Doctor came up at the same time. This was pre-CPR days. He assessed the woman solemnly and stated " She's out of danger" .

The women's companion was obviously upset and she said " Oh no Doctor, my sister fell and hit her head as well and she died!". The Doctor calmly replied "My dear, your sister is out of danger too".

[ndrake2]

MD , I'd like you to come lay eyes on this patient please. Doc says "I'll lay eyes on that patient all day"

[Mlbryan]

"Can I borrow your stethoscope? I lost mine somewhere yesterday"

[cshaverrn]

"Just write what you want". "I'm not comfortable in the ICU anyway."

[Kimmedic]

I worked in an ER in which the physicians put on their own splints (no ortho tech). One busy night a male MD (always very loud and boisterous but well meaning)beckoned me to a room and asked me to assist him to put a wrist splint on. I came to the room and brought the splint cart. This physician also liked to talk. He was standing in the room talking to the patient and the patient's family about random things and I got impatient and left the room. I was standing at the nursing station (just a few feet away) waiting and suddenly the physician yelled "Kim you better get in here. This thing is getting hard!" He meant the orthoglass but that's certainly not what everyone was thinking. Geez was my face red!

[cshaverrn]

"Can someone come and hold her fat"? Dr yelled that was going to put in a groin A-line at bedside.