DiscouragedRN

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi all. I've been a nurse for going on 4 years now. I did about 15 months on med surg. I am still currently prn on a postpartum unit and part time at a swing bed facility. I love bedside care and I love getting to know my patients. Always have. One of my main reasons for going into nursing but I am just so discouraged right now if this was even the right career path for me. I am super timid. My feelings can get hurt rather easy and I don't like people talking down to me and making me feel like a child if I need to be educated on something. I have seen so much backbiting and smart elic people in this field that it's super discouraging for my personality. I have never been this type of person. I have tried my best the past 4 years to get tougher. Ignore it. Maybe even try be sassy back but I just can't. It's not my character. And I feel like such a baby bc I let things affect me big time mentally esp when it comes to staff criticizing me. I would even go to say I've been bullied a few times esp in my first year as a nurse. I am a nurse that always asks questions if I don't know exactly what to do bc we always have room to learn right? Totally can't stand when someone looks at me like I'm idiotic bc I have to be educated on something. It doesn't make me angry it just makes me feel like incompetent. I then even upset myself more bc I say to myself "here you are letting this affect you like a child." I have a big heart and I'm far from perfect but when it comes to loving people and treating nurses young or old with compassion and sympathy, I do it. It seems just down right ridiculous to me to think we are smarter and better and that no one should have to learn how to do things if they've never been exposed to it. My question is: is this just not where I should be? I am just so torn about it and have been battling it for awhile. I got a new job recently at the swing bed. Hoping for a change. It's better but still there. I'm wondering if I should try a different form of nursing

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

I really think you would benefit by working with a counselor/ coach.

Exactly what do you mean by this? Outside of work? I have been this way my whole life before I even went to be an RN. An instructor had encouraged me to stick with so I did. I have had so memorable moments as an RN good and bad of course. I just do not get why some nurses respond so harshly or sarcastically. I know a lot of nurses are like that but I am not one of them and I don't feel like you should have to be that way. I can handle pt care all day and the stresses of it but staff I just can't. If I was a cocky nurse who did things wrong or something, then yeah I get putting me in place but just a very mild tempered person I don't see why harshness or sarcasm is the choice to educate

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive. However, in this new world of nursing it will be difficult. You may need to operate on dual personalities of being a team player and at the same time doing your job your way. Every nurse on this forum has felt the way you have at times. You can still prosper in Nursing by being caring and compassionate even with difficult co workers and not fall into the bad attitude and snarky category.

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

The fact that you have been this way your whole life actually underlines that a counselor/coach would be useful for you, not because you are "broken" or anything, but because it can be helpful to get resources for reframing situations to take the emotional sting out of it. Continued learning, asking questions and professional criticism are part of the job. It is impossible to tell by your posting whether you are receiving scorching criticism and hostility all the time or if you are just super sensitive to any reply given, including a normal response that might not be scathing to someone with a thicker skin. With four years in, to be honest I find it difficult to believe that everyone you have approached has replied to you with withering looks and hostility, though that is definitely the impression you have gotten. My personal experience has been that the majority of people are good and helpful people.

I don't think you are ill equipped to be a nurse, given that you have an inquisitive mind and care about doing the right things the right way. You may just need to grow in self confidence, learn how to frame situations so they aren't so emotional for you and learn to be less critical of yourself, which is the bottom line of your thought process. Seek a coach/counselor that knows how to help you do that. The truth is, you are going to encounter this no matter what profession you are in if you have to interact with others.

Specializes in Reproductive & Public Health.
Exactly what do you mean by this? Outside of work? I have been this way my whole life before I even went to be an RN. An instructor had encouraged me to stick with so I did. I have had so memorable moments as an RN good and bad of course. I just do not get why some nurses respond so harshly or sarcastically. I know a lot of nurses are like that but I am not one of them and I don't feel like you should have to be that way. I can handle pt care all day and the stresses of it but staff I just can't. If I was a cocky nurse who did things wrong or something, then yeah I get putting me in place but just a very mild tempered person I don't see why harshness or sarcasm is the choice to educate

I think you are going to run into the same struggles, no matter what type of job you do. Nothing you are describing sounds nursing specific.

You really might benefit from putting some work into developing your professional interpersonal skills so you can more easily navigate these common workplace issues. There is never an excuse for you to be bullied or belittled. But you might be misinterpreting their response due to your own anxieties. You might be inadvertently projecting a stand-offish or defensive vibe to your coworkers. Toxic work cultures absolutely exist. But 's overall unlikely that most of your coworkers are jerks, especially since you are indicating that this has been an issue throughout your career, not just on this unit.

The majority of people in the world are friendly and nice and funny and awesome, nurses included. Most workplaces include a smattering of people who are more difficult to deal with, which I view as an opportunity to improve my communication skills lol.

Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.
Hi all. I've been a nurse for going on 4 years now. I did about 15 months on med surg. I am still currently prn on a postpartum unit and part time at a swing bed facility. I love bedside care and I love getting to know my patients. Always have. One of my main reasons for going into nursing but I am just so discouraged right now if this was even the right career path for me. I am super timid. My feelings can get hurt rather easy and I don't like people talking down to me and making me feel like a child if I need to be educated on something. I have seen so much backbiting and smart elic people in this field that it's super discouraging for my personality. I have never been this type of person. I have tried my best the past 4 years to get tougher. Ignore it. Maybe even try be sassy back but I just can't. It's not my character. And I feel like such a baby bc I let things affect me big time mentally esp when it comes to staff criticizing me. I would even go to say I've been bullied a few times esp in my first year as a nurse. I am a nurse that always asks questions if I don't know exactly what to do bc we always have room to learn right? Totally can't stand when someone looks at me like I'm idiotic bc I have to be educated on something. It doesn't make me angry it just makes me feel like incompetent. I then even upset myself more bc I say to myself "here you are letting this affect you like a child." I have a big heart and I'm far from perfect but when it comes to loving people and treating nurses young or old with compassion and sympathy, I do it. It seems just down right ridiculous to me to think we are smarter and better and that no one should have to learn how to do things if they've never been exposed to it. My question is: is this just not where I should be? I am just so torn about it and have been battling it for awhile. I got a new job recently at the swing bed. Hoping for a change. It's better but still there. I'm wondering if I should try a different form of nursing

Be gentle with yourself. It is ok to be sensitive. Yes, we do need a tough skin sometimes. However, from what you have said, you are a compassionate nurse who enjoys what you do for the most part.

You are 100% right in that we all at times will encounter something new and need to ask our co-worker a question. It is how we learn and grow. I've been a nurse a while and at times, I need to ask questions.

Hopefully, this new position will be a better fit. But, if it is not, there are many other areas of nursing. If nursing is what you want to do, make it work for you. Find your niche.

I would encourage you to work with a coach or something to help with what you said is something you have been dealing with a long time. Not because there is something wrong with you, but to guide you to reframe perspectives or whatever you may need. This might help you in your career. Again, I just want to encourage you to be gentle with yourself and do some inward self-reflection.

Best wishes.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Oh my- I just meant that sometimes and outside perspective is useful in situations such as the ones you describe. And that is ALL I meant- I was trying to be helpful!

Oh yes ma'am I know! I am sorry if it came off harshly. I did not intend for it to.

It sound's like you are sensitive to tone of voice. As a nurse, this issue makes it hard for you to advocate for your patient.

There are many areas where you could work, that minimizes your exposure to your perceived criticism.

Best wishes.

I am sorry if it came off that way that I've had bad experiences in all places. This is not the case at all. I get along with a majority of my coworkers and love them!! It's just a few in each place that seem to be a little on the sassy side. I am pretty confident in the other facility i work in because I've been there for so long and feel a little less timid. I still get some "bad" vibes on occasion but I feel less intimidated because I have worked there for 4 years. I think I just have an issue with interpreting peoples interpretation of me. I am actually referring to my new job. This is the first time I have ever gotten out late here. I say about 8:30. It is not my norm at all. At the swing bed/hospital I currently work in part time, is very small to what I am used to. I am used to a very large hospital and i actually love this new job but I just happened to get off late monday morning and my supervisor approached me and the DON asking why I was clocking out late. I had got an admission there and had never admitted a pt there before. I am a perfectionist when it comes to doing things the right way and I had no one there to show me. I am the only RN on the floor. We have a small ER and that nurse can help me but he had no idea how to admit a pt to the floor. I had 3 days of orientation there and never experienced one admission. At this new place, they are on meditech. I am used to epic. Things are a little more flowly ya know? Not so much with this system. Anyway. I did the best I could and waited until the oncoming nurse could help me. It took me a little while to do it and on top of charting some things for the remainder of my shift. I explained why I was clocking out late and she said okay but her facial expression just seemed condescending. She has done this to me before if I needed to ask her a question. Sometimes I feel like she's so nice and then sometimes she appears to be a little dry I guess. Of course it hurt my feelings because I did the best I could for the situation at hand I felt like. I just know this is a new job and I want to do my best. I felt bad about myself after leaving. I struggled when i first became a nurse with time management an all and I have come a super long way since then so when I got that look, I just felt back there again. New nurse again. I think I just took it too serious though because I was already super stressed myself about it. The oncoming nurse helped me to some degree but wasn't really thorough which i get because she has a job to do herself! I felt incompetent really. This place is a lot different.. Very old school. They do not have a mckesson or pixis. Locked cabinet for narcotics and such. Sometimes mixing your own abx. Stuff I am all new to. The larger facility has all the quirks with the specific professions to do specific jobs. Most of the nurses at this new place have been there for years like years and I just think when I don't get something it seems odd because they've been there their who nursing career and do not know any different than what they do. I just really let it get me down as a person and my role this is why I am like is it right for me since I just let that stuff bother me like that

I have tried my best the past 4 years to get tougher. Ignore it. Maybe even try be sassy back but I just can't. It's not my character.

Hi OP, I'm going to comment as someone that could be perceived as the type of nurse you're having trouble with. I have a sarcastic sense of humor and am quick to crack jokes (that I think are funny) and have run afoul of people who don't share my sense of humor on more than one occasion. I try to temper my personality and comments at work, but alas, every now and then I still offend someone or hurt someone's feelings. I always apologize if I learn that I have upset someone and am super careful around them going forward. Unfortunately, I think my personality and sense of humor is still likely to offend every now and then no matter how much I try to reign it in.

My point of sharing this with you is to explain that I could no more try to be just like you than you could try to be just like me. I think the suggestion to work with a counselor/coach was I good one; not to change who you are or to try to "fix" something about yourself, but to learn strategies to not internalize what others say or do in the form of hurt feelings. That must be quite a burden for you. Best wishes to you.

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