DiscouragedRN

RNmclen · Apr 10, 2018

I feel like this probably is very accurate for me. Is that a bad perception? My dad always just had to get a "tone" with me growing up to correct my behavior and used that as a tactic to get to me. It worked every time and had me crying like a baby. Lol!

RNmclen · Apr 10, 2018

Hmm I don't know. It just depends really. On what the jokes are about I guess. I can take sarcasm well like in a joking way unless it's directed towards my character or something I struggle with then I may be upset.

Have Nurse, ADN, RN · Apr 10, 2018

Hi all. I've been a nurse for going on 4 years now. I did about 15 months on med surg. I am still currently prn on a postpartum unit and part time at a swing bed facility. I love bedside care and I love getting to know my patients. Always have. One of my main reasons for going into nursing but I am just so discouraged right now if this was even the right career path for me. I am super timid. My feelings can get hurt rather easy and I don't like people talking down to me and making me feel like a child if I need to be educated on something. I have seen so much backbiting and smart elic people in this field that it's super discouraging for my personality. I have never been this type of person. I have tried my best the past 4 years to get tougher. Ignore it. Maybe even try be sassy back but I just can't. It's not my character. And I feel like such a baby bc I let things affect me big time mentally esp when it comes to staff criticizing me. I would even go to say I've been bullied a few times esp in my first year as a nurse. I am a nurse that always asks questions if I don't know exactly what to do bc we always have room to learn right? Totally can't stand when someone looks at me like I'm idiotic bc I have to be educated on something. It doesn't make me angry it just makes me feel like incompetent. I then even upset myself more bc I say to myself "here you are letting this affect you like a child." I have a big heart and I'm far from perfect but when it comes to loving people and treating nurses young or old with compassion and sympathy, I do it. It seems just down right ridiculous to me to think we are smarter and better and that no one should have to learn how to do things if they've never been exposed to it. My question is: is this just not where I should be? I am just so torn about it and have been battling it for awhile. I got a new job recently at the swing bed. Hoping for a change. It's better but still there. I'm wondering if I should try a different form of nursing

It's hard to be new in any situation, nursing or not. I think it's wonderful that you are asking your self these questions and trying to discover who you really are in this profession.

Remember in school, you learned that there is a reason for every kind of behavior? I remind myself of that whenever someone talks down or is disrespectful toward me.

The main thing is that you are trying to learn and you must not let others make you feel bad if you don't know something.

Unfortunately, the only way some people lift themselves up is to put others down. That is unkind and unethical as it doesn't support the person.

If you need to do some research to polish up on some things, do it. You sound to me as though you are capable of working through this. But seeking a professional is a wise idea. Because, you see, it won't matter what profession you undertake if this has been haunting you for so long, Honey.

You can do this. You really can.

Workitinurfava, BSN, RN · Apr 10, 2018

You will have to change or do something else that you can manage better. It won't matter where you work. Problems are everywhere and with nursing the bottom line is life or death. People are stressed, tend to take it out on others and with you being like you are, you will probably be more affected (you sound like a sensitive person, and it is not a bad thing). I am a sensitive person but with a low tolerance for dealing with people's nonsense, I also know that I work better being in charge, knowing what I have to do and handing orders down. I am working on becoming a medical doctor. I fought with the decision for years and finally it all made sense. I plan to work for myself one day. Figure out what you stand for and stick with it, learn to know yourself more and don't apologize for being you if it is a good you and you mean well.

JKL33 · Apr 10, 2018

...my supervisor approached me and the DON asking why I was clocking out late. I had got an admission there and had never admitted a pt there before. I am a perfectionist when it comes to doing things the right way and I had no one there to show me. I am the only RN on the floor. We have a small ER and that nurse can help me but he had no idea how to admit a pt to the floor. I had 3 days of orientation there and never experienced one admission. At this new place, they are on meditech. I am used to epic. Things are a little more flowly ya know? Not so much with this system. Anyway. I did the best I could and waited until the oncoming nurse could help me. It took me a little while to do it and on top of charting some things for the remainder of my shift. I explained why I was clocking out late and she said okay but her facial expression just seemed condescending.

Remember in school, you learned that there is a reason for every kind of behavior? I remind myself of that whenever someone talks down or is disrespectful toward me.

Yes. Sometimes it's d/t a personal things about others' lives that you won't know about, OP, and sometimes (as in the above scenario) it's a little more obvious. Seems like this lady wanted to look good in front of one of her superiors, the DON. Whatever! Ya know? She's got her supervisor-y big thang going on - - just smile, be confident and say, "I got the chance to admit my first patient and wanted to make sure it was done correctly; I'm all set now."

I agree with the others who say there may be a great benefit to a coach. There's nothing wrong with "you" or your personality. Fine-tuning a few things might make a big difference though. That's true for a lot of us; sometimes we learn how to improve ourselves through life experience ("hard knocks") - but being proactive would be a great way to go about it, too.

Good luck to you ~

Kitiger, RN · Apr 10, 2018

I feel like this probably is very accurate for me. Is that a bad perception? My dad always just had to get a "tone" with me growing up to correct my behavior and used that as a tactic to get to me. It worked every time and had me crying like a baby. Lol!

I was the same way growing up. A scolding would reduce me to tears. I still don't like it when others talk down to me (who does?) and it's still a sore spot for me.

Il find it difficult to be assertive. It seems I find the right words ... several days later!

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Apr 10, 2018

I have one simple suggestion try to google whatever you need info or advice on. I use it regularly for medical info.

gennn19, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2018

Wow, your personality sounds very similar to mine! I am not a nurse yet (graduating next month!), so I have nothing to contribute to your question, unfortunately. However this is one of the very things I worry about when I do start working. How have you dealt with being timid at work, if you don't mind me asking?

handmaiden08 · Apr 11, 2018

I used to work in a toxic work environment where the senior nurses were super cliquey and made every other nurse not in their clique feel incompetent. It is not you, it is them. Transfer units if you have to, don't leave the profession over it. I am now in a unit with zero drama thanks to a supportive manager and great co-workers, so they do exist!

Have Nurse, ADN, RN · Apr 11, 2018

I was the same way growing up. A scolding would reduce me to tears. I still don't like it when others talk down to me (who does?) and it's still a sore spot for me.
Il find it difficult to be assertive. It seems I find the right words ... several days later!

I know. It amazes me at times that certain people know just what buttons to push to set us off.

RNmclen · Apr 12, 2018

This is so me. I find the right words several days later... I really do try to think before I speak though and I am a deep thinker. I figured I would start getting thicker skin by now but I do think it could be even more related to that it is a new place and making a good impression is important to me. I feel like I have gotten a later start in my life. I just had a baby a year ago and I hear kids can make you a lot tougher hahaha maybe this will deem true for me.

RNmclen · Apr 12, 2018

Genesis, I honestly have just "dealt" with it. I felt like I knew my value as a person to some degree and that not everyone was like me. Talking to doctors got way easier in the larger facility that I work in and I stopped worrying about "them." I would say I got tougher in that sense just because it is our duty as an RN to step up for things. I really got "bullied" I would say on the med surg unit though and I hated to be a "snitch" but I eventually did tell my charge nurse on the specific person. It never failed. Every time I reported off to her, she was just downright ugly to me. Yell at me. If I was struggling to get things done, she would just tell me how ridiculous it was. I had several do me that way up there! The matter with the one nurse got handle and she actually treated me better after that. I hated to be that way like I can't fight my own battles but I was just so timid I did not know what to do. I tend to get super emotional when I even get angry or passionate and she was the type to point that out. Oh YOU ARE WEAAAAAK. Funny thing is the girl really tries to speak to me now if she sees me. I am like I do not get this at all. You hate me at work but try to be my friend on the outside. Sometimes I feel like not stooping to their level shows your strength and honestly I transferred after a year and some months because I could not do it anymore. It is better at the unit but I work with way more women, so I have encountered some sassy remarks, but I felt more confident because most of the people were having the same issue with the same person so I just eventually let it not get to me and now that same person respects me. It gets better!! I have come a long way as a person since I have become a nurse and honestly becoming a mother has helped me too. I just stick with the co workers who stick with me and build up on that. I am not very hard to get along with and you start building relationships with people. They start respecting you and some will even step in for you when they know you. If I can do it, you surely can. I am here if you ever need to talk though :)