Bad Experience with Nurses at hospital, rethinking my major now.

Nurses General Nursing

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I will start off by explaining that I am a nursing student. I got into nursing because I love to work hard, work on my feet, be challenged, and most importantly help others. I am planning a trip to India to volunteer at an HIV clinic, because for me it’s not about money, It’s about helping others and giving them support when the need it the most.

This weekend, a close friend of mine assaulted me. I had no idea that would happen, and it was emotionally traumatizing. I called the police, but 15 minutes later they still had not arrived. I asked my friend to drive me to the hospital because I was having vision disturbances and vertigo, and I was worried about having major head trauma.

My friend dropped me off and went back to her house to wait for the police and tell them where we were. I was alone, and taken back immediately because of my facial contusions and bleeding from my nose. The nurse who greeted me was unpleasant to say the least. The first thing out of her mouth was “Why did you let this happen? Why did they do this to you?” She began to lecture me, as I sat bleeding, dizzy, and unable to see about making better friends.

I don’t do drugs, I don’t hang out with “shady” people, this isn’t something I ever foresaw happening to me. No one who knew this person thought in a million years he would assault me. A minute later I went to the bathroom and I forgot where I was. I was extremely dizzy and began to panic. I walked out into the hallway, walked up to a staff member and said “I need help, something is wrong with me, I don’t know where I am” She shouted at me to go back to my room. I didn’t know where “my room” was, so I stood there “I can’t breathe” I said. I was having a panic attack.

She took me back to my room and said “You are in the hospital. There is nothing wrong with you. The doctor will come in to evaluate you soon. Take this” and handed me two pills. I asked what they were and she said “Calm down, Just take it!” and left the room.

5 minutes later, two nurses had an argument outside my room about one nurse who “had an attitude” they began to curse at each other, shouting about some other situation, not taking into consideration there was a terrified victim of assault three feet away, hearing all of this.

Maybe my friend should have stayed with me, but she left because she wanted to police to know where I was. She came right back with them about a half hour later. The nurse acted like my friend dropped me off and left me there because she had no respect for me. She acted like I did this to myself, telling me I needed a “new group of friends”

Just this experience is making me think maybe I don’t want to go into nursing. If I had been working, I would have told that nurse to calm down, and to talk to the patient like a person. She had no idea what my situation was, and yet she chose to lecture me when I was scared and vulnerable. The nurses fighting outside my room was just totally unprofessional. I had no idea someone who worked so hard to get this degree would act like that. I feel like if these are going to be my coworkers, then I don’t want to be in this field. I guess what I am hoping for is for someone to tell me not all hospital envoirnments are like that, and that we are allowed to be nice and caring to our patients. I don’t want to become bitter and unpleasant, like these nurses were. This whole experience was so humiliating; I wish I could have been treated with compassion.

Don't let this horrible experience deter you from nursing, if that's what you love. Let it help you to become a better nurse -- take this experience and remind yourself when you get frustrated, stressed, overworked that that's not the kind of nurse you are, not the kind of nurse you want to be. As they say, don't let one bad apple ruin the whole bunch.

It's true that some nurses are harsh and rude. Just remember that it's her problem and not yours. And if medicine/nursing is truly what you love, don't let some random person deter you from your dreams.

And on the same page, be on the lookout for nurses that embody what you want to be as a nurse. You can't control anyone else's action, the only thing you can control is your reaction.

And I'm sorry this happened to you. It must be a difficult situation for you. Sending you good, happy, strong healing vibes!

Specializes in Hospice.
sorry, that's my initial response. note to op, nurses are people, they get jaded and cynical from the stuff that happens on the job. what you experienced are coping skills that they use. No I'm not defending them, just explaining. they aren't supported in how to handle all the feelings that are generated in the work environment. your expectations are unrealistic and you most likely will wash out as a nurse (ie, your head is so far in the clouds that your can't do the actual job)
(bolding added by me)

You were the nurse assigned to her that night weren't you???

In all seriousness, you are the kind of person who makes people scared to enter this field. I dont ever want to turn out like that, but like other posters have stated, these stories will help me make sure I don't.

Every job can leave people 'jaded', it is not an acceptable excuse. I really hope your not scheduled to work today.... :down:

Oh, for heaven's sake ... didn't you read the post? I can't speak for aznurse1, but I believe her point was that all is not sunshine and roses in nursing. She is absolutely correct in pointing out that there's a lot of displaced grief, anger and frustration inherent in the job that, if the OP isn't careful, will wind up biting her in the butt.

Many of us who come into nursing from a desire to serve and a love of helping end up tripping hard over the fact that we get very little gratitude for or acknowledgement of the good we do. I believe this is what aznurse1 was referring to as "unrealistic expectations".

Most of our patients will not break down and cry in their appreciation of our work for them ... most of them won't even realize what we've done and some will actively complain that we didn't do a good enough job. Many will be abusive, angry, whatever ... and they take it out on us because we're there. aznurse1 is right in pointing out that there is absolutely no support for the nurse when this happens.

While I agree that there is no excuse for the behavior described by the OP, I have to admit that my reaction was quite similar to aznurse1's. As another poster pointed out, OP just got a good look at just how bad it can get.

Perhaps the staff she met were just bad nurses ... maybe they just finished trying to put a battered baby back together ... maybe their management insists on high Press-Gainey scores and won't let them deal effectively with frequently-flying drug seekers ... in any case, as the patient in this scenario, it was not the OPs job to take care of the staff. I do agree that a complaint is in order, if she so chooses.

On the other hand ... the OP clearly stated that she would not want to work as a nurse if this is what she'll encounter in her co-workers. IMHO, it's high time that we start treating each other with the same compassion we demand for our patients.

One of the most useful things I ever learned is that I need to look at why I want to help so much. When I understand my own motivation ... what it is I'm getting from the helping relationship ... then I can see more clearly whether I need to rethink my expectations.

Specializes in pediatrics, public health.

I've never worked in an ED, but twice in the past few years I've been a patient in a very busy ED at one local hospital, and my son was a pt in a different ED a couple of times. Everyone treated us very kindly and professionally, with none of the behavior you've described. I wouldn't base any career decisions on how you were treated, but I would definitely write a letter of complaint as soon as you're well enough to feel up to it.

What you experienced is not the norm, but it does let you know which hospital you would not want to work at once you get your nursing license. Do not let one incident influence you to your own detriment. Nothing is perfect in any line of work. You can encounter rude, uncaring people anywhere at any time.

Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

OP==I am SO sorry that you went throug such a horrible experience, both the assault AND the hospital experience. No, not all nurses are jerks like the one you encountered, nor like some of the posters on this board. Some are compassionate in every circumstance and can let their own lack of acknowledgement of need to be be heard or whatever fade in the moment of caring for others. Some are not. Nurses are human, and just as you'll find humans with/without compassion and care in other professions, you'll find nurses the same. You can make the choice, just as they do, to be kind, putting the needs of others before your own, even if only for a brief moment/many minutes or hours. (I think you get my point.). Take care of yourself. Please follow up with someone that you can talk about your experience. It may come back to haunt you when you least expect it. Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you and wish you the best.

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Medsurge.

OP, the best thing you can do is to become the better nurse, out nurse the horrible nursing you received!

Look at this whole experience as a learning moment not to be emulated.

Specializes in wound care.

im sorry about your experience, but listen to yourself? your gona throw away something that sound like your passion cause one dumb ass person? if any thing this would drive you to become a nurse so you can prevent situation like this from happen to other people , seems kinda ignorant to me

I am so sorry you had this horrific experience. Not only were you traumatized by the assault but then you had to be traumatized again by the behavior of the staff and that should have never happened.

Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

I have been a nurse for 3 years. I have never seen anyone act like that toward a patient. At my facility that behavior would not be tolerated and I can guarantee that anyone who acted in this manner would not have their job long. With the customer service oriented environment of today I am surprised that nurse talked to you like that.

That nurse must have been having personal problems, a bad night, or was burnt out. This is definitely not the norm. Some nurses have better bed side manners than others but I have yet to see someone be that rude- especially to someone who was just traumatized.

I am very sorry this happened. Try not to let one bad experience deter you from a career as a nurse.

im sorry about your experience, but listen to yourself? your gona throw away something that sound like your passion cause one dumb ass person? if any thing this would drive you to become a nurse so you can prevent situation like this from happen to other people , seems kinda ignorant to me

you know what, you are right. i shouldn't let that unprofessional actions of one rn deter me. i don't think i would ever treat someone that way, no matter how bad a day i was having. i don't have my head in the clouds about nursing any more than i did about dental assisting. i know it is going to be stressful, and a lot of work. i know i am going to see things that are disturbing and tragic, and i am going to see the worst of people. there are many drug seeking patients and addicts in dental care as well. i've been spit on, screamed at, and harassed working as a dental assistant. i don't expect everyone to appreciate my work, as many don't even recognize a dental assistant. i made the switch because i wanted to work with more than just that one part of the body. i want to help people when they are at their worst. i realize now i was generalizing because of one unorganized, unprofessional department. i was wondering if the way i was treated was the norm- and obviously it isn't. i am very glad to have so many people write and tell me that this isn't normal.

the other staff members who were fighting, they may not have even been nurses, but the way they spoke to each other, especially the cursing, was totally uncalled for. they knew patients could hear them. someone should have stopped them. i would never want to work with people that spoke to eachother like that. i don't usually have panic attacks, and no, i have never been assaulted before, but i know this may be something i have to deal with as a nurse. i was brutally attacked by someone i thought was a friend, because i didn't want him to drive intoxicated. i took his keys and tried to help him, and he ended up slamming me into a wall and punching me.

at that moment, while i was bleeding, scared, and traumatized, was not the time to say "you did this to yourself" "make better friends" hello, i think i figured out that i made a mistake. i never thought that this friend would beat me. if i could go back and change it, i would. this was at 10am on a saturday, and i was sober, my friend that drove me was sober, and i honestly have no idea what is wrong with this guy that he did that, why he was drunk, or why he decided to come over that way. i have never seen him like that, it was possible he was on drugs, and i never plan on speaking to him again unless it is in a courtroom. this is someone i have known for 5 years, who was never violent before. i don't know of anyone who gets abused and thinks "i knew that was coming".

i didn't go into the er expecting anything; i was in a total daze. but after being discharged and looking back on the experience, the way that rn spoke to me, without knowing me or my situation, really made me sick. the panic attack was humiliating, the way she shouted and shoved pills at me made me uneasy. she should have explained what she was giving me, at least.

anyways, thanks everyone who left positive comments. you are right. i will use this as more motivation to be a great nurse. it means a lot that you agree with me that this was inappropriate.

I can't believe what I'm reading here. Assuming this is a true story, only one person suggests

the OP file a complaint? Only one? To the OP -- Be a nurse. Be a good, ethical, caring, responsible nurse. Begin your career by filing a complaint. Write up a detailed description of what happened to you, naming names, and file it with the proper authorities. If this there were mitigating circumstances explaining the behavior of these nurses, take that into consideration. If this is how they behave on a regular basis, hope your complaint begins a process to either reeducate them or supply them with a ticket out of the profession.

Patients don't have to put up with this abusive, judgmental behavior. They simply don't. Start being a patient advocate early in your career. You're a patient, too.

I'm not going to criticize the nurses in the ER nor am I going to make excuses for them. None of us were there to witness the nurse's interactions with the OP. The OP had some confusion going on, her recollection of the events may not reflect that happened. How many times have we had a confused patient accuse us of trying to poison them with their meds or call 911 because we're holding them against their will.

A minute later I went to the bathroom and I forgot where I was. I was extremely dizzy and began to panic. I walked out into the hallway, walked up to a staff member and said “I need help, something is wrong with me, I don’t know where I am”

As for rethinking nursing as a career choice, I have to agree with aznurse1's (albeit harsh) response.

If you don't think you want to be a nurse based on this ONE event...then don't.

If you've made it this far without figuring out that every nurse is different then I'm afraid you'll have a lot more disappointments down the road. It's just plain foolish to beg another adult to not change their career choice, especially a stranger on the internet.

Being assaulted is very traumatic, even more so when it's at the hands of someone you know and trust. I hope all of your wounds heal quickly.

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