About to give up on being a nurse

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2005

I can't measure how motivated you are, so I can't say whether you should or should not give up. Nursing school is very demanding--moreso than many other programs, it appears. I was making straight A's when I reached the point where I had to say: "I'm not going to quit! They can throw me out if they want to, but I will not quit!" A number of my classmates had similar crises. It's just really hard. And our school was really competitive for entry--if you weren't highly committed, you didn't get in in the first place.

That said, the reason for going through all that is that you really, really, really want to be a nurse. A lot of us were career changers, a few were recent high school graduates, many were already working in healthcare in some form. We were all pretty driven to excel, because we had to be.

What I can't know is whether you are someone with that kind of drive to be a nurse who is experiencing a time of doubt, or someone who just thinks maybe it would be a good field to go into. They are many other choices just as valid as nursing, after all, and if you find one you're passionate about, that's probably where you belong. I guess if you don't find anything you're passionate about, look for something that doesn't demand too much passion. There's a lot more to life than work, and there's nothing wrong with a job that's just a way to pay for the things you do care about. Finding something you like that doesn't demand more than you can give is perfectly reasonable.

But, if you are passionate about nursing, giving up isn't really an option. Unfortunately, it is possible to be passionate about it and fail, but I think it would be even worse to just turn your back on something you really want.

So, as far as funding, have you looked into student loans? The first place to start is to fill out a FAFSA (federal application for student assistance, I think) which will tell you what if any aid you qualify for. You can get info at a college financial aid department, or go online at www.dl.ed.gov (I think). Figure on spending some time doing research--I doubt you'll have time to get anything going for fall 2005. But you'll want to file your FAFSA before March to be considered for the widest range of options.

Old credits from accreditted schools (colleges and universities) don't appear to go away over time. If you passed college algebra once, you probably won't have to take it again to get credit for it. (Conversely, I had to overcome academic insufficiencies from flunking out over 27 years earlier at an entirely different institution--but I did get credit for the courses I had passed.)

My best advice is to gather as much info as you can, check out any nursing schools in your area, then see if you can make an appointment with an advisor from the nursing program. Maybe someone in financial aid, too. Most schools don't offer much direct finiancial aid, but there's usaully someone who can help with finding funding. but you can't just walk in off the street and have them hand everything to you. find out as much as you can on your own, then try to make an appointment sometime when they aren't super busy. Right before or after the start of a new term, they may not have time for you.

I don't really know what to tell you about Christian Science. What I know is that we all get sick, and we all eventually die. In parts of the world, some people still routinely die of things that are easily treatable in other parts of the world--not many deaths from cholera in America, for example. As far as I can tell, it is sometimes consistent with God's plan that life is sometimes hard, but I can't imagine that it's part of His plan when life is unfair, other than that He left us the work of making it fairer. I am pretty convinced that God has called me to help the sick get well, or at least be more comfortable. I think He fully intends that I should seek medical attention when needed. I could be wrong, but I feel I'm right, and I have to go with that.

Jo Dirt · Jul 11, 2005

Well, you can spend a lot of time philosophizing about what you have or haven't done and why, or you can just pull yourself up by your boostraps and go at it again.

If you don't qualify for some type of assistance you will have to save the money on oyour own. Pay as you go. You can do this a number of ways, from cutting a few extras off the cable bill every month to delivering pizzas in the evening. Working as a CNA is such a draining job (and mostly financially unrewarding) and they say you can make some pretty good tips in the evenings delivering pizzas. It is a good way to earn some quick cash. So rather than try to pick up some extra shifts in the hospital or nursing home I'd choose the pizza delivery route.

If you can, open up a separate savings or checking account JUST for school. It will be easier to save for it that way. Or else use an envelope to hold the cash for your tuition.

Money does not have to be a big obstacle. If you have a supportive family you will have many opportunities to save for school without depending on loans or grants and going into a huge amount of debt.

Yes, I would do it over, because nursing is about the only thing I can do. I don't think I would like teaching, and I'm not really good at anything else, and there are not many menial jobs that will pay a decent salary like nursing will. So, yes, I would do it again, though I hope to goodness I never have to.

I'm sorry for using this cliche, but no words could be truer: where there is a will there is a way.

It took me nearly ten years before finishing my RN degree. I started out at 21 as a CNA (I learned real quick that wasn't where I wanted to be 15 yrs. from now). I enrolled in nursing school and got held back several times due to pregnancies. I finally finished LPN school at 26. I'm 30 now and finishing up my associate degree RN.

Don't use the excuse there is no money. For 8 yrs. I lived in a 12 by 36 ft. shack in the woods with no toilet (I literally s*&^ in the woods!) With the support of my partner I was able to get through it.

I can't stress how important it is to have a support system. Money is not the obstacle. If you don't have people close to you who are supportive it won't work.

Also want to add, that a lot depends on your motivation. I know a lot of people who liked the idea of being a nurse, like it was some kind of romantic profession and they only thought about the glory of it. Actually, there is very little glory in being a nurse. It is a very hard, very demanding and often filthy job. As soon as this was discovered in my nursing class we lost many people. We started out with 38 nursing students and because of money, no family support, bad grades, or dissillusionment, we ended up with a graduating class of 11.

passing thru · Jul 11, 2005

I am giving your note serious consideration.

I wonder.............. how supportive is your husband??

And, you have 3 children, 2 of which are rather small. If you do not have to work, I think you should be there for the 4 and 8 year old for at least another five years.

Nursing school would remove you from your family, mentally and physically.

You have to study for many many hours every week.

Why deprive your young children of their mother unless it is a neccessity that you work?

the kids have always been my priority.

school takes priority over kids and family.

is that what you want?

Lorel · Jul 11, 2005

i can't measure how motivated you are, so i can't say whether you should or should not give up. nursing school is very demanding--moreso than many other programs, it appears. i was making straight a's when i reached the point where i had to say: "i'm not going to quit! they can throw me out if they want to, but i will not quit!" a number of my classmates had similar crises. it's just really hard. and our school was really competitive for entry--if you weren't highly committed, you didn't get in in the first place.
that said, the reason for going through all that is that you really, really, really want to be a nurse. a lot of us were career changers, a few were recent high school graduates, many were already working in healthcare in some form. we were all pretty driven to excel, because we had to be.
what i can't know is whether you are someone with that kind of drive to be a nurse who is experiencing a time of doubt, or someone who just thinks maybe it would be a good field to go into. they are many other choices just as valid as nursing, after all, and if you find one you're passionate about, that's probably where you belong. i guess if you don't find anything you're passionate about, look for something that doesn't demand too much passion. there's a lot more to life than work, and there's nothing wrong with a job that's just a way to pay for the things you do care about. finding something you like that doesn't demand more than you can give is perfectly reasonable.
but, if you are passionate about nursing, giving up isn't really an option. unfortunately, it is possible to be passionate about it and fail, but i think it would be even worse to just turn your back on something you really want.
so, as far as funding, have you looked into student loans? the first place to start is to fill out a fafsa (federal application for student assistance, i think) which will tell you what if any aid you qualify for. you can get info at a college financial aid department, or go online at www.dl.ed.gov (i think). figure on spending some time doing research--i doubt you'll have time to get anything going for fall 2005. but you'll want to file your fafsa before march to be considered for the widest range of options.
old credits from accreditted schools (colleges and universities) don't appear to go away over time. if you passed college algebra once, you probably won't have to take it again to get credit for it. (conversely, i had to overcome academic insufficiencies from flunking out over 27 years earlier at an entirely different institution--but i did get credit for the courses i had passed.)
my best advice is to gather as much info as you can, check out any nursing schools in your area, then see if you can make an appointment with an advisor from the nursing program. maybe someone in financial aid, too. most schools don't offer much direct finiancial aid, but there's usaully someone who can help with finding funding. but you can't just walk in off the street and have them hand everything to you. find out as much as you can on your own, then try to make an appointment sometime when they aren't super busy. right before or after the start of a new term, they may not have time for you.
i don't really know what to tell you about christian science. what i know is that we all get sick, and we all eventually die. in parts of the world, some people still routinely die of things that are easily treatable in other parts of the world--not many deaths from cholera in america, for example. as far as i can tell, it is sometimes consistent with god's plan that life is sometimes hard, but i can't imagine that it's part of his plan when life is unfair, other than that he left us the work of making it fairer. i am pretty convinced that god has called me to help the sick get well, or at least be more comfortable. i think he fully intends that i should seek medical attention when needed. i could be wrong, but i feel i'm right, and i have to go with that.

thanks...i am very passionate about nursing and i never thought i would ever consider quitting. i only have to re-do peds and then community and rehab.

i know the school of nursing gives grants to some that can't afford all the tuition and i thought because i was a former student and a graduate of the school they might find some way to help me.

i have been told already that there is a 10yr limit on many classes and mine are approaching that limit. i started my nursing courses in 1995 so my core courses were obvoiusly before that. i don't think i could handle a&p and organic biochem again. besides i already have $52,000 in loans to repay.

i often wish i could win the lottery so i could pay them off and finish school.

i don't know what god has called me for anymore.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jul 11, 2005

So sorry to read about your situation. I am sure you need all the help and motivation you can get, but nursing is tough, I would re-do whatever it takes to fulfill my dream. Don't give up.

Financially, I can't afford school at all either, but I took out loans (beacause my dream has no price or obstacles), if you want something very bad then there is no obstacle or reason you should not accomplish it.

Good luck to you :)

Sis123 · Jul 11, 2005

Why not call one (or several) of these debt relief companies? They can lower (or reduce to zero) interest rates, and/or lower the amount to be paid back. Perhaps you could do this, and your lower payments would enable you to finish.

I was in nursing school more than 2 decades ago, had to leave because of illness/absenses for 2 clinical classes, also ran out of money (I had been counting on being able to get my LPN, in order to make the money to continue). After all this time, yes, I had to start from scratch, pretty much, but I am doing it. Fortunately hubby makes enough to pay the bills, and we have no kids, (and my health is great now), so there's nothing in my way.

Check out the debt options available to you, there may be a way you can swing this.....

leopold · Jul 11, 2005

Hmmm. The BSN program I applied to accepted all my college credit transfers from 20 years ago.

I have been through college all the way up to my master's and nursing school is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life (I'm in an LPN program now, can't imagine what the RN will be like). I have weathered all sorts of personal crises just to do this and I am determined to see it through no matter what. I will probably be about $40,000 in debt by the time I finish this.

Nursing school is hard. Nursing is hard. As one of the OP said, it's not clear whether you're just having the crisis before the crisis, or whether you have real doubts about this. If you have doubts then maybe this is not the thing for you. Is there a way you can sit down and sort of untangle all these other issues you are dealing with and just try to focus on the nursing issue?

I don't know much about Christian Science so I'm not sure where that comes into the whole thing. I know we had a couple Jehovah's witnesses in our class and they have some very strong beliefs about the way medicine is practiced but they still pursued their careers. There are plenty of Christian Scientists out there and like all of us they have health problems so your being one could probably be of value. :)

Editorial Team / Admin · Jul 11, 2005

i don't know what elese to do. my school...my alma mater...says there is no tuition assistance for me there, the ads on the computer for goverment grants all cost money to find out if you can get money, and by the time 2 more years roll by i am sure most of my classes will be too old to be of any use to me anyway. the only option i think i will end up with is to start over at a jr. college, and if that means taking all the science classes again...i don't think can do that.
a friend of mine told me that god has a plan for us all, and if we try for years and years to accomplish something...to no avail...that maybe it was not meant to be. i am a cna and maybe that is what was meant for me.
i even tried to be a phlebotomist...in the fall of 2000. i took the 16 week course, did really well...got a "b". a few weeks after finals i had our son in jan 2001. i could not do the clinicals right away because of that and could not later because my husband did not pay the tuition until 2004 so that class too was too old also.
i will have to renew my cna license and i will do that when i am ready to go back to work. i think it is time that i either choose another way to use my b.a or just be happy as a cna. after all, it is a noble profession and very necessary. it was just not my dream.
before i make any final decisions, i would like to ask...would any of you do it all again?. i mean would you really take all the classes again and re-do nursing school like you had never been there before?...or do you think i should just chalk it up to a dream that got away. i am 36 and my kids are 15, 8 and 4. i thougth i would never give up, but now i'm not sure.
i should also add that another reason i am beginning to think this is true is; because, in the course of dealing with some issues in my past, i have found christian science to be helpful to me. i am still however a catholic. btw, c.s is not scientology...they are not the same at all. i suppose it is logical if i am coming to believe in c.s that a nursing career would no longer make sense and i should continue to be a cna in a setting where i would not take part in the medical aspects of care. this is a quote from mbe that the same friend sent to me...
"suffer no claim of sin or of sickness to grow upon the thought. dismiss it with an abiding conviction that it is illegitimate, because you know that god is no more the author of sickness than he is of sin."
-from science and health
by mary baker eddy
390:20-23
i guess to sum it all up i am sad and confused and i would love to hear your thoughts if you could give me just a few minutes of your time. thanks.
laurel

o.k., i have read all of the threads on this and here is my two cents.

you appear to be at odds with yourself. you want to play out your dream of being a nurse. at one time you must have really wanted to do this. obviously you took the courses geared to nursing and obtained a degree (ba, yes?). sounds like you still want to be a nurse or you would not be wrestling with this issue.

as for getting financial assistance, please heed the other threads that gave you links to get loans. grants are out there as well.

now, the issue of your religious beliefs. .. this may be the crux of the whole situation. did you just recently come to christian science or have you always practiced the beliefs? the basic tenet of christian scientists is exactly as you implied. ..to stay away from the sick, for god will provide. so, you may be having a crisis of the mind and spirit over this. please speak with your religious advisor and anyone else who can give you insight about your conflict of religion vs. career. hopefully, you can come to terms with one or the other. you must be true to your convictions.

good luck.

Lorel · Jul 11, 2005

well, you can spend a lot of time philosophizing about what you have or haven't done and why, or you can just pull yourself up by your boostraps and go at it again.
if you don't qualify for some type of assistance you will have to save the money on oyour own. pay as you go. you can do this a number of ways, from cutting a few extras off the cable bill every month to delivering pizzas in the evening. working as a cna is such a draining job (and mostly financially unrewarding) and they say you can make some pretty good tips in the evenings delivering pizzas. it is a good way to earn some quick cash. so rather than try to pick up some extra shifts in the hospital or nursing home i'd choose the pizza delivery route.
if you can, open up a separate savings or checking account just for school. it will be easier to save for it that way. or else use an envelope to hold the cash for your tuition.
money does not have to be a big obstacle. if you have a supportive family you will have many opportunities to save for school without depending on loans or grants and going into a huge amount of debt.
yes, i would do it over, because nursing is about the only thing i can do. i don't think i would like teaching, and i'm not really good at anything else, and there are not many menial jobs that will pay a decent salary like nursing will. so, yes, i would do it again, though i hope to goodness i never have to.
i'm sorry for using this cliche, but no words could be truer: where there is a will there is a way.
it took me nearly ten years before finishing my rn degree. i started out at 21 as a cna (i learned real quick that wasn't where i wanted to be 15 yrs. from now). i enrolled in nursing school and got held back several times due to pregnancies. i finally finished lpn school at 26. i'm 30 now and finishing up my associate degree rn.
don't use the excuse there is no money. for 8 yrs. i lived in a 12 by 36 ft. shack in the woods with no toilet (i literally s*&^ in the woods!) with the support of my partner i was able to get through it.
i can't stress how important it is to have a support system. money is not the obstacle. if you don't have people close to you who are supportive it won't work.
also want to add, that a lot depends on your motivation. i know a lot of people who liked the idea of being a nurse, like it was some kind of romantic profession and they only thought about the glory of it. actually, there is very little glory in being a nurse. it is a very hard, very demanding and often filthy job. as soon as this was discovered in my nursing class we lost many people. we started out with 38 nursing students and because of money, no family support, bad grades, or dissillusionment, we ended up with a graduating class of 11.

thanks...but i don't seem to have any bootstraps to pull anymore. i don't have any money to save. i can't go deliver pizzas...for one it is too dangerous for a woman...at least around here...and i would have to have my 15yr old babysit all the time and she is not that responsible. she is in an alternative school and she has her own issues to deal with. i can't go back to work until our son starts first grade and he is getting ready for pre-k now.

i have a checking account but i rarely get money to put in it and when i do it is no more than $10 just for little expences. at the rate of $10/month $3,200 or so dollars is a long way away.

i know about rough living...i have lived in cars...abandoned apartments and even under a viaduct near the canal.

i know that obstacles can be overcame...but i just can't get the money for this by saving up my spare change.

my mom has no money to give, niether does my brother and i don't speak to my other brother and my father for reasons that i do not care to get into. my husband will not pay my tuition and that is it for my family. this is why i am so disheartened.

i have no delusions of grandeur about nursing. i know that is can be a thankless, exhausting, frustrating carreer that is ever changing and cannot be done without passion because lives are at stake. being a cna is a little like that...we are often called glorified b*tt wipers and even sometimes the nurses think of us that way too. i have seen family members of people i have taken care of at a nursing home i worked at for years, bring presents and candy for the nurses and give away some possessions of their family member and the cnas' were not included. for over a year i took care of these people and somehow it was not as important. no glory there...i am usted to that. i just want to be a good nurse and learn from what i have seen already and what others will show me but i don't seem to be able to do that.

i only have to re-do peds and then do community and rehab...i can't believe the situation i have gotten myself into.

someone elese gave me a financial aid tip so i will try that and let you all know how it goes.

laurel

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2005

I truly sympathize with your situation. I don't mean this to sound like "tough love," because I don't have enough answers to offer that, but I feel I have to mention that the Lord has shown me that wishing to win a lottery isn't the answer. I have to show my faith by taking active steps toward my desires, and then if they are suited to his purpose, I may get help. I can't really explain the theology behind that--it isn't as simple as "the Lord helps those who help themselves," but there appears to be an element of truth to that, even if it isn't the whole truth.

Anyway, I hope and pray you can get to wherever you need to be. My only other suggestion is to be open to any option that can get you where you want to be. An ADN or ASN from a community college is what worked best for me, but our local public vocational school offers a one-year LPN program that could be a great place to get started (from what I hear, LPN school is no easier than RN school, but one year may be more do-able than two, and there are schools that offer LPN-RN courses in as little as a year, and a variety of ways to get from RN-BSN.)

Good luck in whatever you choose.

Lorel · Jul 11, 2005

i am giving your note serious consideration.
i wonder.............. how supportive is your husband??
and, you have 3 children, 2 of which are rather small. if you do not have to work, i think you should be there for the 4 and 8 year old for at least another five years.
nursing school would remove you from your family, mentally and physically.
you have to study for many many hours every week.
why deprive your young children of their mother unless it is a neccessity that you work?
the kids have always been my priority.
school takes priority over kids and family.
is that what you want?

thanks...he is supportive...he just refuses to pay my tuition but says i can go back after i go back to work. i know...but it's the way it is.

i know how hard it is...i am almost done. 3 classes to go and one is a repeat.

in 5 more years they...my classes...will be all expired wont they?

i am 36 though and i don't want to start all over again at 40 or 41. if start over then i could be 43 or 44 and just starting out.

my kids do take priority, that is mainly why i am waiting till the little one is in school for a full day...but at the same time i see this all slipping away and i can't help but woner if it was not meant to be...no matter how desperately i want it.

laurel