i don't know what elese to do. my school...my alma mater...says there is no tuition assistance for me there, the ads on the computer for goverment grants all cost money to find out if you can get money, and by the time 2 more years roll by i am sure most of my classes will be too old to be of any use to me anyway. the only option i think i will end up with is to start over at a jr. college, and if that means taking all the science classes again...i don't think can do that.
a friend of mine told me that god has a plan for us all, and if we try for years and years to accomplish something...to no avail...that maybe it was not meant to be. i am a cna and maybe that is what was meant for me.
i even tried to be a phlebotomist...in the fall of 2000. i took the 16 week course, did really well...got a "b". a few weeks after finals i had our son in jan 2001. i could not do the clinicals right away because of that and could not later because my husband did not pay the tuition until 2004 so that class too was too old also.
i will have to renew my cna license and i will do that when i am ready to go back to work. i think it is time that i either choose another way to use my b.a or just be happy as a cna. after all, it is a noble profession and very necessary. it was just not my dream.
before i make any final decisions, i would like to ask...would any of you do it all again?. i mean would you really take all the classes again and re-do nursing school like you had never been there before?...or do you think i should just chalk it up to a dream that got away. i am 36 and my kids are 15, 8 and 4. i thougth i would never give up, but now i'm not sure.
i should also add that another reason i am beginning to think this is true is; because, in the course of dealing with some issues in my past, i have found christian science to be helpful to me. i am still however a catholic. btw, c.s is not scientology...they are not the same at all. i suppose it is logical if i am coming to believe in c.s that a nursing career would no longer make sense and i should continue to be a cna in a setting where i would not take part in the medical aspects of care. this is a quote from mbe that the same friend sent to me...
"suffer no claim of sin or of sickness to grow upon the thought. dismiss it with an abiding conviction that it is illegitimate, because you know that god is no more the author of sickness than he is of sin."
-from science and health
by mary baker eddy
390:20-23
i guess to sum it all up i am sad and confused and i would love to hear your thoughts if you could give me just a few minutes of your time. thanks.
I have many thoughts and feelings about your situation but I will try to keep it simple. And please don't take any of these statements wrong. I feel for you and your situation and only want the best for you. My beliefs may NOT be yours and that is ok.
First you are a CNA now. You are 3 classes away from being an RN. The amount of money you can make as an RN is almost double what you make now as a CNA. That 50,000 dollar debt will be a lot harder to pay off as a CNA than a 60,000 dollar debt will be as an RN. Financially it only makes sense to go for the RN.
Secound, your husband is right the debt is yours. Does that mean if you find a way to graduate that the income is all yours? If that be the case you should have that loan paid off in a couple years....
Third, according to Illinios law, any property bought after the marriage is as much yours as his, unless it was given to him as a gift. AND being a homemaker is recognized is valuable and will be recognized in the agreement. http://www.heidelbergerlaw.com/PCenter2_2.shtml?focus=topic&id=1 I'm not saying to get divorced, just making a statement about the his vs your money situation. What you portray it to be sounds real close to an abusive situation. But I could be reading it wrong so I'm sorry if I did.
Fourth, I completed my entire 2 year RN course with government loans. If your previous loans were school loans, they should be able to be deferred when you restart classes. They might tell you that you can't get any more money, go in and talk to the financial aid people in person and see what you can work out. Maybe your folks could cosign on a loan for the difference.
Lastly, Christian Scientist. This is my take and don't take it wrong. God didn't bring sin, death and dying into the world. Mankind did when we disobeyed him. That sin has been passed down to us, it has nothing to do with what we do now. The bible clearly states that all have sinned and all will die. This is what you were brought up with. CS is totally opposite of this belief. I think you should go talk to your priest and see if you can find some peace in this area. If you decide to become CS then I wish you well but don't change just from some sort of suspicious belief ....get the facts.
I don't believe God wants us to sit and let people suffer, he healed the sick. I don't believe God is putting obstacles in your way. I believe your husband and life situations have done that. But these are my beliefs and I am not in your shoes. I wish you the best and hope you can find some peace in this decision.
i had to reply to your message. if you really want to be a nurse, then make it happen. i had to take out loans and borrow money from my parents and we still didn't think we could do it many times, but i got through it. how did i get through? honestly, i couldn't have done it without god's help. i prayed alot and god was so faithful and answered my prayers. my advice is, ask god to show you himself- read the bible and give god a chance- he loves you!!!
jeremiah 29:11 says " for i know the plans i have for you," declares the lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
hi and thanks...i don't qualify for financial aid anymore because i have a b.a. . my mom is broke and even if i was speaking to my dad he would never give me money. i am praying and i appricaite your support...thanks.
sorry to hear about your situation. you said that you were a lpn working on your rn right? is there any nursing homes or hospitals that have tuition reinbursement where you live? there are alot of nursing home where i live that will pay your way through school if you agree to work for them for 6 mos. to a year. it's just a suggestion, i know i wouldnt be able to go back to school if i didnt have the help from the nursing home where i will be working at in september.
hi and thanks...no i'm a cna and i don't think they pay back tuition do they...esp. if it is non-nursing classes.
i have many thoughts and feelings about your situation but i will try to keep it simple. and please don't take any of these statements wrong. i feel for you and your situation and only want the best for you. my beliefs may not be yours and that is ok.
first you are a cna now. you are 3 classes away from being an rn. the amount of money you can make as an rn is almost double what you make now as a cna. that 50,000 dollar debt will be a lot harder to pay off as a cna than a 60,000 dollar debt will be as an rn. financially it only makes sense to go for the rn.
secound, your husband is right the debt is yours. does that mean if you find a way to graduate that the income is all yours? if that be the case you should have that loan paid off in a couple years....
third, according to illinios law, any property bought after the marriage is as much yours as his, unless it was given to him as a gift. and being a homemaker is recognized is valuable and will be recognized in the agreement. http://www.heidelbergerlaw.com/pcenter2_2.shtml?focus=topic&id=1 i'm not saying to get divorced, just making a statement about the his vs your money situation. what you portray it to be sounds real close to an abusive situation. but i could be reading it wrong so i'm sorry if i did.
fourth, i completed my entire 2 year rn course with government loans. if your previous loans were school loans, they should be able to be deferred when you restart classes. they might tell you that you can't get any more money, go in and talk to the financial aid people in person and see what you can work out. maybe your folks could cosign on a loan for the difference.
lastly, christian scientist. this is my take and don't take it wrong. god didn't bring sin, death and dying into the world. mankind did when we disobeyed him. that sin has been passed down to us, it has nothing to do with what we do now. the bible clearly states that all have sinned and all will die. this is what you were brought up with. cs is totally opposite of this belief. i think you should go talk to your priest and see if you can find some peace in this area. if you decide to become cs then i wish you well but don't change just from some sort of suspicious belief ....get the facts.
i don't believe god wants us to sit and let people suffer, he healed the sick. i don't believe god is putting obstacles in your way. i believe your husband and life situations have done that. but these are my beliefs and i am not in your shoes. i wish you the best and hope you can find some peace in this decision.
debblynn
hi and thanks...he does want me to pay like $800.00/month on the loan when i am back at work so it gets paid asap, but no help with the loan. i know it makes financial sence to finish nursing but i just can't seem to get that money for the back tuition.
as for c.s...mary baker eddy did not intend for it to be a separate religion and in my opinion...there is alot to be gained from c.s. i do not take any offence and i would love to discuss it with you sometime. thanks for your support and advice.
I've been following this thread with interest, because I really do sympathize with your plight. I made it through nursing school only partly by my own intelligence and hard work--I had an awful lot of help along the way, too, and I can't help but feel some of that help was of Divine origin. I'm a little bit proud of myself, but even more grateful to my family, friends, employer, co-workers, classmates, and instructors who helped me through this, and to the Lord for bringing me here.
I've been orienting to my first nursing job for a couple of weeks now, and it has been wonderful. Challenging, rewarding, and fun--but not easy. I find myself feeling overwhelmed on a regular basis. I end every shift physically tired and with a lot to think about before beginning the next one. I give myself credit where I can, but I spend a lot of time thinking about how to handle a problem better, next time. The nurses I work with have given me a lot of support and encouragement, but I still have to remind myself regularly that every new nurse has a tough time, at first. I'm starting to think that the next time I feel like my career needs some new challenges, I'm going to try to pick some easier ones.
Frankly, it sounds like maybe that's what you should do. A number of pretty good suggestions have been made on this thread, but it appears as though you are stymied at every turn. It sounds as though your situation in life just isn't one that can accomodate becoming a nurse, and if you can't change your situation, your chances aren't very good.
For the time being, it may make sense to find something that isn't an uphill battle all the way, and maybe think about nursing someday when you're in a better position to undertake it.
if your grades are good, look into scholarships. Also are there any LPN programs in you area, can you work and save for a yar to pay for it? Here are some unconventional jobs where you could make and save money, pizza delivery, newspaper delivery, daycare for one or two kids in your home, CNA work or stocking shelves or retail. those are some suggestions for funding you schooling, now if you are feeling like you don't believe in the western medical model and system , then you need to think long and hard about spending time and money and LOTS OF EFFORT, for a job where you will be required to perform in a capacity that is not within your belief set. good luck with your decision.
I don't mean to get too personal and please try not to get upset by what I'm about to say, but to me it sounds like the first thing that you need to do is get rid of your husband.
HELLO, you are not allowed to buy groceries with out him, you have no access to the bank acount, (You are not a CHILD, you should be an EQUAL partner.) Among many other things I'm sure.
Sounds to me like an abusive situation.
Thats all I'm going to say about it because I do not truely know all of your situation and maybe I am way off. However if a man (any man, or anyone for that matter) treated me that way, they would be out of my life really quick. Stick up for yourself. Good Luck, I hope things somehow work out for you.
thanks...he is supportive...he just refuses to pay my tuition but says i can go back after i go back to work. i know...but it's the way it is.
i know how hard it is...i am almost done. 3 classes to go and one is a repeat.
in 5 more years they...my classes...will be all expired wont they?
i am 36 though and i don't want to start all over again at 40 or 41. if start over then i could be 43 or 44 and just starting out.
my kids do take priority, that is mainly why i am waiting till the little one is in school for a full day...but at the same time i see this all slipping away and i can't help but woner if it was not meant to be...no matter how desperately i want it.
laurel
raise your kids ,,and then go to nursing school .there is nothing wrong with going back to school in your 40s''i did'' and lived to tell about it!
i've been following this thread with interest, because i really do sympathize with your plight. i made it through nursing school only partly by my own intelligence and hard work--i had an awful lot of help along the way, too, and i can't help but feel some of that help was of divine origin. i'm a little bit proud of myself, but even more grateful to my family, friends, employer, co-workers, classmates, and instructors who helped me through this, and to the lord for bringing me here.
i've been orienting to my first nursing job for a couple of weeks now, and it has been wonderful. challenging, rewarding, and fun--but not easy. i find myself feeling overwhelmed on a regular basis. i end every shift physically tired and with a lot to think about before beginning the next one. i give myself credit where i can, but i spend a lot of time thinking about how to handle a problem better, next time. the nurses i work with have given me a lot of support and encouragement, but i still have to remind myself regularly that every new nurse has a tough time, at first. i'm starting to think that the next time i feel like my career needs some new challenges, i'm going to try to pick some easier ones.
frankly, it sounds like maybe that's what you should do. a number of pretty good suggestions have been made on this thread, but it appears as though you are stymied at every turn. it sounds as though your situation in life just isn't one that can accomodate becoming a nurse, and if you can't change your situation, your chances aren't very good.
for the time being, it may make sense to find something that isn't an uphill battle all the way, and maybe think about nursing someday when you're in a better position to undertake it.
if your grades are good, look into scholarships. also are there any lpn programs in you area, can you work and save for a yar to pay for it? here are some unconventional jobs where you could make and save money, pizza delivery, newspaper delivery, daycare for one or two kids in your home, cna work or stocking shelves or retail. those are some suggestions for funding you schooling, now if you are feeling like you don't believe in the western medical model and system , then you need to think long and hard about spending time and money and lots of effort, for a job where you will be required to perform in a capacity that is not within your belief set. good luck with your decision.
thanks...i can't work right now as i have already explained and my issue was never with western medicine, rather it was with discerning what i was intended for and if i was really receiving a sign of some sort. i only have 3 classes left to go and i am already $52,000 in debt, so i know what i am in for but i appreciate your taking the time to try and help me.
i don't mean to get too personal and please try not to get upset by what i'm about to say, but to me it sounds like the first thing that you need to do is get rid of your husband.
hello, you are not allowed to buy groceries with out him, you have no access to the bank acount, (you are not a child, you should be an equal partner.) among many other things i'm sure.
sounds to me like an abusive situation.
thats all i'm going to say about it because i do not truely know all of your situation and maybe i am way off. however if a man (any man, or anyone for that matter) treated me that way, they would be out of my life really quick. stick up for yourself. good luck, i hope things somehow work out for you.
thanks...no you did not upset me. i am touched that you said what you felt...i appreciate honesty.
i am catholic...even though i have an interest in c.s. so that plus 3 kids means divorce is pretty much out.
with that said, i am just trying to find the drive i once had to get this degree, as i seem to find my impetus is fading away and i don't want that to happen. that is why i am here. i figured if anyone could help me, it would be a nurse.
thank you for your concern and i hope to be a part of this "family" here someday.
debblynn13
154 Posts
I have many thoughts and feelings about your situation but I will try to keep it simple. And please don't take any of these statements wrong. I feel for you and your situation and only want the best for you. My beliefs may NOT be yours and that is ok.
First you are a CNA now. You are 3 classes away from being an RN. The amount of money you can make as an RN is almost double what you make now as a CNA. That 50,000 dollar debt will be a lot harder to pay off as a CNA than a 60,000 dollar debt will be as an RN. Financially it only makes sense to go for the RN.
Secound, your husband is right the debt is yours. Does that mean if you find a way to graduate that the income is all yours? If that be the case you should have that loan paid off in a couple years....
Third, according to Illinios law, any property bought after the marriage is as much yours as his, unless it was given to him as a gift. AND being a homemaker is recognized is valuable and will be recognized in the agreement. http://www.heidelbergerlaw.com/PCenter2_2.shtml?focus=topic&id=1 I'm not saying to get divorced, just making a statement about the his vs your money situation. What you portray it to be sounds real close to an abusive situation. But I could be reading it wrong so I'm sorry if I did.
Fourth, I completed my entire 2 year RN course with government loans. If your previous loans were school loans, they should be able to be deferred when you restart classes. They might tell you that you can't get any more money, go in and talk to the financial aid people in person and see what you can work out. Maybe your folks could cosign on a loan for the difference.
Lastly, Christian Scientist. This is my take and don't take it wrong. God didn't bring sin, death and dying into the world. Mankind did when we disobeyed him. That sin has been passed down to us, it has nothing to do with what we do now. The bible clearly states that all have sinned and all will die. This is what you were brought up with. CS is totally opposite of this belief. I think you should go talk to your priest and see if you can find some peace in this area. If you decide to become CS then I wish you well but don't change just from some sort of suspicious belief ....get the facts.
I don't believe God wants us to sit and let people suffer, he healed the sick. I don't believe God is putting obstacles in your way. I believe your husband and life situations have done that. But these are my beliefs and I am not in your shoes. I wish you the best and hope you can find some peace in this decision.
Debblynn