About to give up on being a nurse

[Lorel]

i don't know what elese to do. my school...my alma mater...says there is no tuition assistance for me there, the ads on the computer for goverment grants all cost money to find out if you can get money, and by the time 2 more years roll by i am sure most of my classes will be too old to be of any use to me anyway. the only option i think i will end up with is to start over at a jr. college, and if that means taking all the science classes again...i don't think can do that.

a friend of mine told me that god has a plan for us all, and if we try for years and years to accomplish something...to no avail...that maybe it was not meant to be. i am a cna and maybe that is what was meant for me.

i even tried to be a phlebotomist...in the fall of 2000. i took the 16 week course, did really well...got a "b". a few weeks after finals i had our son in jan 2001. i could not do the clinicals right away because of that and could not later because my husband did not pay the tuition until 2004 so that class too was too old also.

i will have to renew my cna license and i will do that when i am ready to go back to work. i think it is time that i either choose another way to use my b.a or just be happy as a cna. after all, it is a noble profession and very necessary. it was just not my dream.

before i make any final decisions, i would like to ask...would any of you do it all again?. i mean would you really take all the classes again and re-do nursing school like you had never been there before?...or do you think i should just chalk it up to a dream that got away. i am 36 and my kids are 15, 8 and 4. i thougth i would never give up, but now i'm not sure.

i should also add that another reason i am beginning to think this is true is; because, in the course of dealing with some issues in my past, i have found christian science to be helpful to me. i am still however a catholic. btw, c.s is not scientology...they are not the same at all. i suppose it is logical if i am coming to believe in c.s that a nursing career would no longer make sense and i should continue to be a cna in a setting where i would not take part in the medical aspects of care. this is a quote from mbe that the same friend sent to me...

"suffer no claim of sin or of sickness to grow upon the thought. dismiss it with an abiding conviction that it is illegitimate, because you know that god is no more the author of sickness than he is of sin."

-from science and health

by mary baker eddy

390:20-23

i guess to sum it all up i am sad and confused and i would love to hear your thoughts if you could give me just a few minutes of your time. thanks.

laurel

[Lorel]

so sorry to read about your situation. i am sure you need all the help and motivation you can get, but nursing is tough, i would re-do whatever it takes to fulfill my dream. don't give up.

financially, i can't afford school at all either, but i took out loans (beacause my dream has no price or obstacles), if you want something very bad then there is no obstacle or reason you should not accomplish it.

good luck to you :)

thanks...i have $52,000 already in loans and i also have a b.a so i don't qualify for fianacial aid. i can't apply for a loan till i register and i can't registrer till my bill is paid. it's a mess. i'm trying to hold on, thanks again.

laurel

[Lorel]

why not call one (or several) of these debt relief companies? they can lower (or reduce to zero) interest rates, and/or lower the amount to be paid back. perhaps you could do this, and your lower payments would enable you to finish.

i was in nursing school more than 2 decades ago, had to leave because of illness/absenses for 2 clinical classes, also ran out of money (i had been counting on being able to get my lpn, in order to make the money to continue). after all this time, yes, i had to start from scratch, pretty much, but i am doing it. fortunately hubby makes enough to pay the bills, and we have no kids, (and my health is great now), so there's nothing in my way.

check out the debt options available to you, there may be a way you can swing this.....

thanks...i'll try again, but don't i have to have a job to qualify?

laurel

[Lorel]

hmmm. the bsn program i applied to accepted all my college credit transfers from 20 years ago.

i have been through college all the way up to my master's and nursing school is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life (i'm in an lpn program now, can't imagine what the rn will be like). i have weathered all sorts of personal crises just to do this and i am determined to see it through no matter what. i will probably be about $40,000 in debt by the time i finish this.

nursing school is hard. nursing is hard. as one of the op said, it's not clear whether you're just having the crisis before the crisis, or whether you have real doubts about this. if you have doubts then maybe this is not the thing for you. is there a way you can sit down and sort of untangle all these other issues you are dealing with and just try to focus on the nursing issue?

i don't know much about christian science so i'm not sure where that comes into the whole thing. i know we had a couple jehovah's witnesses in our class and they have some very strong beliefs about the way medicine is practiced but they still pursued their careers. there are plenty of christian scientists out there and like all of us they have health problems so your being one could probably be of value. :)

thanks...that helps alot. 20 years...that is encouraging. i see you have the moxie i had and wish i had now. i know i can do the studies now...heck i am almost done. i just don't know how many more hurdles i can jump with the tuition being the last of many. thanks...you gave me some hope.

laurel

[Lorel]

hmmm. the bsn program i applied to accepted all my college credit transfers from 20 years ago.

i have been through college all the way up to my master's and nursing school is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life (i'm in an lpn program now, can't imagine what the rn will be like). i have weathered all sorts of personal crises just to do this and i am determined to see it through no matter what. i will probably be about $40,000 in debt by the time i finish this.

nursing school is hard. nursing is hard. as one of the op said, it's not clear whether you're just having the crisis before the crisis, or whether you have real doubts about this. if you have doubts then maybe this is not the thing for you. is there a way you can sit down and sort of untangle all these other issues you are dealing with and just try to focus on the nursing issue?

i don't know much about christian science so i'm not sure where that comes into the whole thing. i know we had a couple jehovah's witnesses in our class and they have some very strong beliefs about the way medicine is practiced but they still pursued their careers. there are plenty of christian scientists out there and like all of us they have health problems so your being one could probably be of value. :)

i almost forgot too...yes i suppose i could help some c.s people out there becuase while i do agree with a lot of c.s i still take an asprin for a headache etc. so i guess i might be able to help because i probably know more about c.s than most that are not part of that religion. maybe i could combine some nursing skills and c.s knowledge to relate to and help a person who may be deciding to turn down the medical treatment that they might need. i really would like to help and i never thought of that.

laurel

[Lorel]

o.k., i have read all of the threads on this and here is my two cents.

you appear to be at odds with yourself. you want to play out your dream of being a nurse. at one time you must have really wanted to do this. obviously you took the courses geared to nursing and obtained a degree (ba, yes?). sounds like you still want to be a nurse or you would not be wrestling with this issue.

as for getting financial assistance, please heed the other threads that gave you links to get loans. grants are out there as well.

now, the issue of your religious beliefs. .. this may be the crux of the whole situation. did you just recently come to christian science or have you always practiced the beliefs? the basic tenet of christian scientists is exactly as you implied. ..to stay away from the sick, for god will provide. so, you may be having a crisis of the mind and spirit over this. please speak with your religious advisor and anyone else who can give you insight about your conflict of religion vs. career. hopefully, you can come to terms with one or the other. you must be true to your convictions.

good luck.

thanks...i have always been catholic. i was introduced to c.s about a year ago. it has helped me deal with past issues. the reason i brought it up though is because my friend says that i am being given a sign that i was not meant to recognize sin and disease and death as real, that is why something has always been in the way to becoming a nurse. i know it sounds odd, but whatever i do it seems like i will never get there. i am afraid that she might be right. my logical mind says that's crazy, but i just don't know anymore and the farhter away from nursing i am the more she seems right. i am confused especially after all i the peace of mind i have received since she has helped me. that is why i brought up c.s.

as for financial aid, it seems as though you need to have money to get money with those places. i'm just frustrated i guess.

laurel

[Lorel]

i truly sympathize with your situation. i don't mean this to sound like "tough love," because i don't have enough answers to offer that, but i feel i have to mention that the lord has shown me that wishing to win a lottery isn't the answer. i have to show my faith by taking active steps toward my desires, and then if they are suited to his purpose, i may get help. i can't really explain the theology behind that--it isn't as simple as "the lord helps those who help themselves," but there appears to be an element of truth to that, even if it isn't the whole truth.

anyway, i hope and pray you can get to wherever you need to be. my only other suggestion is to be open to any option that can get you where you want to be. an adn or asn from a community college is what worked best for me, but our local public vocational school offers a one-year lpn program that could be a great place to get started (from what i hear, lpn school is no easier than rn school, but one year may be more do-able than two, and there are schools that offer lpn-rn courses in as little as a year, and a variety of ways to get from rn-bsn.)

good luck in whatever you choose.

thanks...i was 3 classes from my bsn...do credits transfer from bsn to adn programs?

laurel

[sirI, MSN, APRN, NP]

thanks...i was 3 classes from my bsn...do credits transfer from bsn to adn programs?

laurel

yes, they should transfer, but, you may still have to take courses that are applicable to the asn program. also, it depends on what state you took your original courses if they all transfer. every state and/or nursing program have their own set of regs.

[Miss Ludie]

OK off on another tack entirely here. What do you MEAN your husband refuses to pay your tuition? In my household ALL money is OUR money. Your caring for the house and the children surely is more than equivalent to what ever job your spouse has. Is the money there and he just won't give it up?

It took me 12 years from start to finish. I had 3 jobs simultaneously the whole time. My husband changed shifts so we didn't need child care.

I busted my backside and made A's the whole time. My school had a 7 year limit on course ages IF there was a gap. As long as the schooling was continuous there was no penalty.

If you truly feel that CS is leading you away from the nursing mode what about changing majors to religion or counseling. You could probably get a Master's based on having the BA.

But if my HUSBAND refused to pay, I'd be taking a serious look at who this guy was, cause MY hubby had my back the whole way.

[Lorel]

yes, they should transfer, but, you may still have to take courses that are applicable to the asn program. also, it depends on what state you took your original courses if they all transfer. every state and/or nursing program have their own set of regs.

thanks...btw the schools are both in illinois. i have all the pre-reqs for both an adn and a bsn already.

laurel

[Lorel]

ok off on another tack entirely here. what do you mean your husband refuses to pay your tuition? in my household all money is our money. your caring for the house and the children surely is more than equivalent to what ever job your spouse has. is the money there and he just won't give it up?

it took me 12 years from start to finish. i had 3 jobs simultaneously the whole time. my husband changed shifts so we didn't need child care.

i busted my backside and made a's the whole time. my school had a 7 year limit on course ages if there was a gap. as long as the schooling was continuous there was no penalty.

if you truly feel that cs is leading you away from the nursing mode what about changing majors to religion or counseling. you could probably get a master's based on having the ba.

but if my husband refused to pay, i'd be taking a serious look at who this guy was, cause my hubby had my back the whole way.

thanks...yes, he says it is my bill and he won't pay it. we are going to take a second mortage for home improvement and such. his dad is even buying him a new camper because ours is 25 years old and falling apart. but unfortunately my tuition is my problem. my name is on nothing, not the house, the car or the main bank account. i am not lying when i say i don't have access to any money. i have $4.11 in the bank and if i want groceries i need to wait till he can go with me to shop. once in a while he writes a check to jewel for groceries but there is little left over at the end of the list.

i still really want to be a nurse...i read echo heron every chance i get.

i took 2 masters classes in clinical psychology and that is where the tuition is from. i had to sit out a semester before i could repeat peds so i took them as a student at large pending admission to the psych program. i did this to keep my loan from coming due and i wanted to be a psych nurse anyway so i thought i was killing two birds with one stone. i found out that because i took the classes in the "student at large status" and not as a psych student the bill was mine and i was not ellegible for fianacial aid. i could not register for either program until the bill was paid. so then i went to phlebotomy school and i said what happened in another thread. the same thing, he did not pay that tuition till last year and then it was too late for that too.

laurel

[new grad]

I had to reply to your message. If you really want to be a nurse, then make it happen. I had to take out loans and borrow money from my parents and we still didn't think we could do it many times, but I got through it. How did I get through? Honestly, I couldn't have done it without God's help. I prayed alot and God was so faithful and answered my prayers. My advice is, ask God to show you himself- read the Bible and give God a chance- He loves you!!!

Jeremiah 29:11 says " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

[nurse_elyse]

Sorry to hear about your situation. You said that you were a LPN working on your RN right? Is there any nursing homes or hospitals that have tuition reinbursement where you live? There are alot of nursing home where I live that will pay your way through school if you agree to work for them for 6 mos. to a year. It's just a suggestion, I know I wouldnt be able to go back to school if I didnt have the help from the nursing home where I will be working at in September.