i don't know what elese to do. my school...my alma mater...says there is no tuition assistance for me there, the ads on the computer for goverment grants all cost money to find out if you can get money, and by the time 2 more years roll by i am sure most of my classes will be too old to be of any use to me anyway. the only option i think i will end up with is to start over at a jr. college, and if that means taking all the science classes again...i don't think can do that.
a friend of mine told me that god has a plan for us all, and if we try for years and years to accomplish something...to no avail...that maybe it was not meant to be. i am a cna and maybe that is what was meant for me.
i even tried to be a phlebotomist...in the fall of 2000. i took the 16 week course, did really well...got a "b". a few weeks after finals i had our son in jan 2001. i could not do the clinicals right away because of that and could not later because my husband did not pay the tuition until 2004 so that class too was too old also.
i will have to renew my cna license and i will do that when i am ready to go back to work. i think it is time that i either choose another way to use my b.a or just be happy as a cna. after all, it is a noble profession and very necessary. it was just not my dream.
before i make any final decisions, i would like to ask...would any of you do it all again?. i mean would you really take all the classes again and re-do nursing school like you had never been there before?...or do you think i should just chalk it up to a dream that got away. i am 36 and my kids are 15, 8 and 4. i thougth i would never give up, but now i'm not sure.
i should also add that another reason i am beginning to think this is true is; because, in the course of dealing with some issues in my past, i have found christian science to be helpful to me. i am still however a catholic. btw, c.s is not scientology...they are not the same at all. i suppose it is logical if i am coming to believe in c.s that a nursing career would no longer make sense and i should continue to be a cna in a setting where i would not take part in the medical aspects of care. this is a quote from mbe that the same friend sent to me...
"suffer no claim of sin or of sickness to grow upon the thought. dismiss it with an abiding conviction that it is illegitimate, because you know that god is no more the author of sickness than he is of sin."
-from science and health
by mary baker eddy
390:20-23
i guess to sum it all up i am sad and confused and i would love to hear your thoughts if you could give me just a few minutes of your time. thanks.
as far as when to go to school. You will one day be 50. You can be 50 and still be in the same position, or you can be 50 with your RN. You're still going to be 50. It's what you do with those years that will determine where you will be.
Just don't ever forget.......you are in control, you just chose to give that control to someone else. You can take it back. Stop feeling sorry for your life and do something about it. :)
Woogy
As far as the advise from the other , alot of them share their personal opinion and knowledge. the above statement is true to all of us.With the help from G_d we can control of our situation in our life, whatever that you don't want in your life right now, you can change it and create a better one. :) In your mind lies wisdom and answer to someof our question in life.
Lorel, I was thinking about you while I was waiting for a bus today. Imagine that! And I don't think I really have a good grasp on what you are dealing with in your marriage, but I am going to assume that for the sake of argument, despite this disagreement you have with your husband and his controlling nature, you are committed to this marriage. I think you have placed yourself in a position where you feel that either you do as your husband says or you get a divorce. I'm not sure if that's your only option. Have you considered that you and your husband are equals and that if you set your sites on nursing school and jump through all the hurdles (and believe me, there is not a one of us out there who hasn't had to jump through some major hurdles, including cantankerous husbands) and just tell him that's the way it's going to be, then maybe, after some uproar, he just might settle down and accept it? I guess there's a possibility he will decide to get a divorce, but that's HIS decision, not yours. If you don't want a divorce and he doesn't want a divorce then the two of you have come to a crossroad and it's time for you to take a stand. Honestly, it WILL happen at some point in your marriage. Maybe for some other reason. It happens to all of us. Might as well do it now. Just a thought. :)
I would like to answer each post individually but my computer is going nuts so I will make this short.
I have read and appreciated all the personal stories that you have shared with me. I am moved by how much you care.
I am not here asking for sympathy as some here think, and I have identified several bits of advice I have gotten such as finding a hospital that will help with tuition, number of years before classes expire, and other paths to explore that might lead me to the road to some financial help. The only reason I let you all know that my husband would not pay is to let you know that was not an option. I also said that I would not leave him so that is not an option either.
I appreciate all of your feelings on the subject, but do not appreciate being told that I am here for sympathy and that I have disregarded all the good advice I have gotten.
On the contrary, I have submitted two applications and for grants and I am looking into day care in my home.
The only reason I brought up the religion is because I did have C.S friend who brought up the point about maybe this was not meant for me and this would be evidenced by the fact that no matter what I do, something is always in the way. It really seemed to make sense and she had quotes from Science and Health to back up that claim. I just wanted some input on the subject. I never thought anyone would take it so far as to think I was using that as an excuse to not try anymore.
Someone asked about my choices with money...well yes, I have bounced a few checks over the years and I am not perfect and I have never changed majors. I did get a liberal arts B.A when I left nursing school becuase I had to repeat peds. and I could not do that and focus on my daughter who was just placed in special ed and the new baby.
I'm not really sure why he won't pay. Maybe because I was in school when we met in 1995...my first semester was fall of 94...I left nursing school in 98 and graduated in 99 and he thinks that was long enough in school.
It does not really matter though, I don't want anyone to pity me. If I wanted pity I would tell you about the rest of my life...but I won't. I have more pride than that.
I have been listening and I have gotten some great advice...which I am following up on and some love and suppport that I did not expect...but do appreciate. It reminds me that nurses are one big family.
So on that note; I will check in from time to time, but please do not feel obligated to answer this note. I never expected this many responses nor did I ever ask for or expect any sympathy or worse yet...pity.
I am not looking for excuses either...just financial information so I can do this without seeking a divorce or doing anything that is dishonest.
And as far as not being a good nurse because I have baggage...I'd be willing to bet that most nurses need a "red cap" to help with their baggage. That is one thing that is behind the desire to heal others for some...the need to be healed themselves. I know this is true for many...many nurses. In one way or another, helping others is also helping themselves. But like any other professional, I would do what is right and that is to leave that sh*t at home where it belongs.
I would like to answer each post individually but my computer is going nuts so I will make this short.
I have read and appreciated all the personal stories that you have shared with me. I am moved by how much you care.
I am not here asking for sympathy as some here think and I have identified several bits of dvice I have gotten such as finding a hospital that will help with tuition, number of years before classes expire, and other paths to explore that might lead me to the road to some financila help.
The only reason I let you all know that my husband would not pay is to let you know that was not an option. I also said that I would not leave him so that is not an option either.
I appreciate all of your feelings on the subject, but do not appreciate being told that I am here for sympathy and that I have disregarded all the good advice I have gotten.
On the contrary, I have submitted two appltions and for grants and I am looking into day care in my home.
The only reason I brought up the religion is because I did have C.S friend who brought up the point about maybe this was not meant for me and this would be evidenced by the fact that no matter what I do, something is always in the way. It really seemed to make sense and she had quotes from Science and Health to back up that claim. I just wanted some input on the subject. I never thought anyone would take it so far as to think I was using that as an excuse to not try anymore.
Someone asked about my choices with money...well yes, I have bounced a few checks over the years and I am not perfect and I have never changed majors. I did get a liberal arts B.A when I left nursing school becuase I had to repeat peds. and I could not do that and focus on my daughter who was just placed in special ed and the new baby.
I'm not really sure why he won't pay. Maybe because I was in school when we met in 1995...my first semester was fall of 94...I left nursing school in 98 and graduated in 99 and he thinks that was long enough in school.
It does not really matter though, I don't want anyone to pity me. If I wanted pity I would tell you about the rest of my life...but I won't. I have more pride than that.
I have been listening and I have gotten some great advice...which I am following up on and some love and suppport that I did not expect...but do appreciate. It reminds me that nurses are one big family.
So on that note; I will check in from time to time, but please do not feel obligated to answer this note. I never expected this many responses nor did I ever ask for or expect any sympathy or worse yet...pity.
I am not looking for excuses either...just financial ionformation so I can do this without seeking a divorce or doing anything that is dishonest.
And as far as not being a good nurse because I have baggage...I'd be willing to bet that most nurses need a red cap to help with their baggage. That is one thing that is behind the desire to heal others...the need to be healed themselves. I know this is true for many...many nurses. In one way or another, helping others is also helping themselves. But like any other professional, I would do what is right and that is to leave that sh*t at home where it belongs.
Nat_gagui
122 Posts
As far as the advise from the other , alot of them share their personal opinion and knowledge. the above statement is true to all of us.With the help from G_d we can control of our situation in our life, whatever that you don't want in your life right now, you can change it and create a better one. :) In your mind lies wisdom and answer to some of our question in life.