A Dear Abbey letter. What is your take?

[Faeriewand]

I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently?

DEAR ABBY: While sitting with my husband in the hospital following his surgery, a nurse entered his room. We all chatted while she took his pulse, etc., when -- without warning -- she removed his covers to check the surgery site and totally exposed his genitals.

I was shocked and embarrassed, and have trouble ridding myself of the image of my naked husband lying there in front of another woman. I wish the nurse had given me the chance to leave the room.

Is there something wrong with me for having so much trouble with this? What can I do to avoid this in the future? -- RED-FACED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR RED-FACED: On a scale of 10, I'd say you are probably an 8 on the "uptight" scale. You seem to have forgotten that the woman in the room with you was not a lap dancer, but a health-care professional performing her duties. Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy. To avoid embarrassment in the future, leave the room when the nurse enters

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

you can't win! there is always some nutjob lurking to turn nothing into something. i wonder how often the poor patient has had to hear from his concerned spouse about his encounter with "the other woman"?:deadhorse let it go!

:lol_hitti :lol_hitti :lol_hitti :lol_hitti :lol_hitti :lol_hitti too funny and probably true!!!!

[SharonH, RN]

you can't win! there is always some nutjob lurking to turn nothing into something. i wonder how often the poor patient has had to hear from his concerned spouse about his encounter with "the other woman"?:deadhorse let it go!

:lol2:

[Altra, BSN, RN]

i wonder how often the poor patient has had to hear from his concerned spouse about his encounter with "the other woman"?:deadhorse let it go!

:yeahthat:

[smk1, LPN]

you can't win! there is always some nutjob lurking to turn nothing into something. i wonder how often the poor patient has had to hear from his concerned spouse about his encounter with "the other woman"?:deadhorse let it go!

:kiss

[Clatar]

i couldn't agree more! this nurse's behavior was inappropriate, and the patient and his wife have every reason to question it.

examining a patient's genitals without warning and in front of another person (regardless of whom that person is) is completely inappropriate. if he had just had genital surgery, the appearance was undoubtedly "altered" by swelling, bruising, sutures, drainage, etc. not exactly the image one wants his/her spouse to carry. willingly sharing one's body with a spouse in the privacy of home is a whole lot different than being unwillingly exposed in front of a third party in a hospital room.

how many of the women posters who have defended the nurse's actions would feel the same way if a female patient's episiotomy was exposed to male visitors by a male doctor?

where are some of these nurses being trained? are they not being taught modesty and respect for their patients?to expose a person's most private parts is tantamount to "invasion of privacy" in general..we have had to endure the perils of hipaa already...are we going to have to teach professionals how to treat a patient the way they would want to be treated?

i remember being 12 years old and having an ekg..i was "fully developed" and quite shy and very modest but the stupid nurse did not bother to cover me after placing the probes on my chest area...i was humiliated to say the least and am very careful to voice my concerns to those in positions that make me vulnerable to such indignities to this day...

seems that some of these institutions of higher learning have a little learning to do..

[Altra, BSN, RN]

i remember being 12 years old and having an ekg..i was "fully developed" and quite shy and very modest but the stupid nurse did not bother to cover me after placing the probes on my chest area...i was humiliated to say the least and am very careful to voice my concerns to those in positions that make me vulnerable to such indignities to this day...

i can empathize that at the age of 12 you may very well have had a difficult time understanding the need for the test, and 12-year olds (myself, at that age, included) often aren't very good at taking a don't-sweat-the-small-stuff approach. however, health care is a 2-way street: while the nurse is responsible for explaining procedures and respecting & advocating for the patient, i believe that mentally competent adults also bear some responsibility for listening to explanations, asking questions for clarification, & then ultimately accepting responsibility for consenting to or refusing procedures. the dear abby letter posted in the op dealt with an adult patient & his adult wife.

let me explain why this irks me. i work in an er setting. it gets extremely frustrating to try to treat patients who present with symptoms which definitely warrant attention, only to have them balk at having blood drawn, an iv inserted, or having a test which may be briefly uncomfortable, or even just takes some of their precious time. i've actually had a pt. say to me, "can't you people just figure out what's wrong with me?" hmm ... no, neither i nor any of the physicians have a crystal ball or psychic powers. (sarcasm intended for this forum only)

i do more than a dozen ekgs on any given day. i always explain the reason for the test, exactly what i'm going to do, and pull the curtains before exposing the patient. i do not cover the pt. after placing the electrodes on because that tends to produce artifact. accurate diagnosis depends on as clear an ekg as possible.

you're entitled to your opinion, and you're free to call me the stupid nurse if you wish. but i hope that you will remember, as you pursue your nursing education and learn to perform procedures which you have considered to be "indignities", that priorities matter. potentially life-saving tests & procedures come first. i'd gladly have a patient who is alive to have the ability to have the memory of being briefly embarassed or uncomfortable.

[cpyne]

Although Abby is correct that the nurse probably did see her pt as no more sexless than a CPR dummy, we (and she ) need to keep that secret to ourselves. All this has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with respect. She was inadvertantly treating him like an object, which I am sure she did not mean to do. Professionalism and courtesy demanded that she interact with her patient directly when doing her examination, not chit chat with his wife. Also she should ask if the PATIENT minds being examined while someone is present. I suspect that is really what ws bothering the wife, and Abby should have picked up on that fact.

I had a similar experience while getting a Mammogram. The tech told me she's seen hundreds of breasts,so not to worry. I told her I was only concerned about my breasts, not the hundreds of others she might have seen. We forget that when we "objectify" other's bodies, we lose sensitivity and humanity. These are qualities that separate us from some other professions.

[Stitchie]

We all seem to be in agreement on the privacy issue. We mostly seem to agree that the wife seems to be trying to solve this the wrong way. Also, it seems that nurses are getting more bad PR -- and that I have a problem with, aside from the much-stated popular opinions, which I happen to share.

[firstaiddave907]

I think thats a big hippa voliation and i think that nurse should be fired or suspended without pay.

[tleigh7097]

I think as a nurse doing an assessment and being conscious of her pt's privacy, she should have simply pulled the curtain. If the wife wanted to see the incision that should have been between the two of them.

[Q.]

I think thats a big hippa voliation and i think that nurse should be fired or suspended without pay.

The nurse didn't violate HIPAA in the least.

[syamkumar]

In any situation a nurse should explain the procedure prior to its initiation.If during chating the nurse explained that she is going to check site then all embarresment would have been avoided.And for her client even the assessment can go wrong if she puts him in embaressment . the bystander can very well excuse out if she could feel offended