12/31/15: What I learned this year

[ixchel]

Happy New Year, friends, colleagues, and nurse enthusiasts!

It's been a busy, challenging, and thought provoking year à chez Ixchel. Certainly a lot of lessons learned. Here's a summary of what I can recall at this moment:

1. "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger," said no nurse, ever.

2. Night shift takes 2 full days of recovery time.

3. Never, ever, ever utter the word "bored" on the full moon on a holiday inside the walls of a hospital. Don't even do it in the parking lot. In fact..... If you have ever in your life received a paycheck from any place that offers medical care, never say the word "bored" on a holiday during a full moon regardless of where you are.

4. I cannot believe how much blood can pour out of a healthy young person while pouring nonstop fluids and blood back into them before you lose their pulse.

5. It is not "helpful" to have the in laws pick up the kids at noon for lunch after a very sleep deprived 3-night stretch. (No matter how absurd he may think that sounds.)

6. It actually is normal to take a couple of days to recover from these long and brutal shifts.

7. When I compartmentalized my patients, thinking of them as science in my nurse brain, I can give compassionate/empathetic, yet unemotionally involved care. The second my mom brain turns on, it brings me to my knees.

8. The charge nurses I was warned about turned out to be worth the warning. This was so disappointing to discover.

9. I survived my first year after licensure and I've realized I'm a good nurse.

10. You should still never remove an African American woman's wig. I'm pretty sure that story will never die.

11. The human body WANTS to live. This helps me stay calm when the patient is crashing.

12. I love code team.

13. I suck at IVs and I'm not sure this will change.

14. After having three patients with life-long, life threatening complications after a surgery I will hopefully be getting soon, I'm afraid.

15. It takes at least 4 days off work to feel fully recharged to go back.

16. Day shift is hell.

17. Some shifts, success depends on having a great tech.

18. I'm still thankful for an intact and fully functioning rectum.

19. I have a terrible, overwhelming fear and hatred for progressive neurological disorders, which doesn't help me be an impartial nurse or granddaughter.

20. Being a nurse has changed me. I am sad more frequently, and I have less patience for what people perceive as problems (when in all actuality, these "problems" are more minor inconveniences).

21. Sometimes I forget that the people I am close to aren't desensitized to the same things I am. This has required a few heartfelt apologies.

22. I used to go all out on cooking as a SAHM. Now that I am working? No. I have no effs to give.

23. My children are genuinely interested in the lives I touch as a nurse and will actually ask me what I saw and did at work each week. Sometimes I wonder if my daughter pictures me with a cape and superhero mask when she pictures me at work. Honest to god I love this and wish I could keep them at this curious, interested age forever.

24. This is the most lucrative year my husband and I have ever had as a couple and we have nothing to show for it because baby sitters are expensive.

25. I am ready for grad school.

26. The friendships I've made here have gotten me through quite a bit. Thank you all, and best wishes for a beautiful and awesome 2016!

U2 > New Year's Day

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

Re: #1 - I am forever saying that what doesn't kill you makes your immune system stronger, but that's not quite the same thing.

This is the year I have really gotten my feet under me as a working professional, and I have started caring about the quality of life I have instead of just survival. I have learned that my quality of life is really lacking with this career. The best perk of nursing, IMO, is the flexible scheduling with the 12 hour shifts - but that means nothing when your SO works M-F 9-5.

I have learned that this is really plenty of money to do whatever I want when someone else is living with me and splitting the living expenses, but merely sufficient for living expenses with some extras when I live alone. I find it very unsatisfying that I can't provide myself with all of the things I want on one salary with no overtime.

I have continued to learn that I love critical care and balancing an unstable patient, but most of the time, I don't enjoy interacting with the patients themselves. Every now and then I get an A&O regular person, but most are either delirious, demented, psychotic, passive-aggressive, or some combination of all of the four together. I have learned that "normal people" are actually the minority in the world.

I guess this has just been a year of stagnation for me. I am hoping that taking classes next year will get me excited about learning and doing things again.

[sarah_smile, BSN, RN]

#2 --- YES!!! I never would have thought it would take so long to recover but it sure does!

#7 --- I'm learning this the HARD way

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I've learned that insurance companies are awash with cash. Seriously, major insurance companies have deep, deep pockets. I work for one such company.

I've learned that I don't mind if I never perform another hands-on procedural nursing skill for the rest of my life, just as long as I enjoy my job. I've never enjoyed starting IV lines or applying wound vacs. I'm glad to be removed from the hands-on skills aspect for now.

I've learned to feel like a normal part of society now that I work during daylight hours for the first time in many years.

I've learned to enjoy wearing business casual clothes to work for the first time in more than a decade. I'm enjoying the slacks, blouses, boots, high heels, winter scarfs, sweaters, pencil skirts, and sweater dresses.

I've relearned that I'm a continual work in progress. :)

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

#18 - every day of my life

Also:

Sixty is not too old to go after the prize. In fact, sixty isn't really very old at all.

Like The Commuter- I look eagerly forward to never doing patient care again. Soon.

That a manager CAN be a truly good and kind person AND a good manager at the same time.

That suicidal thoughts can hide beneath a calm and cool exterior- just waiting to be nudged along and fueled by alcohol. (The attempt was unsuccessful, and this loved one is is in therapy and making great strides.)

That pursuing an area of interest with diligence and fervor can take you places you never thought possible.

[nutella, MSN, RN]

What I learned this year:

Graduate school with one course at a time drags along but at the same time is the best option for me between working, family, and my own other things I do.

Specialty certification is so worth it!!!

Applying to college is super stressful for HS students - I have one senior and one sophomore in HS and the senior is very stressed. All of them identify a lot with where they will get accepted and perceive not acceptance as a personal failure or personality flaw. There is way too much stress in this process.

Being a patient is so difficult --- I had major surgery (total success) and went through all the usual patient concerns...

Losing 20 lb of weight while in surgical menopause quickly developed into mission impossible....

I still like to be a nurse though I have a pretty "clean" job with not much direct patient care other than talking ...

[smartassmommy]

I learned to follow my dreams and for once I have a job I am good at and enjoy.

I have also learned that doing this leads to a more positive frame of mind.

Oh and for profit schools abound, so buyer beware!

[Farawyn]

Great song choice, ixchel.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I've learned that all the times I've said in the past that it can't get worse for staffing at work that I was wrong. It can indeed get worse. I learned another nurse put in a two week notice yesterday and this makes me sad. Not just losing another nurse, but losing this nurse. I will miss working with him.

[angelicGrace]

I learned...

you are never too old to follow your dreams.

Applying to university after 14 years away from higher education is stressful, exciting and wonderfully brilliant all at once.

I learned that I love to learn!

I learned going back to college means less time complaining about work and more time working on something that matters.

I learned so much about the human body in one A&P class that I thought my brain would ooze out of my ears.

I learned that apparently I can pull all A's and I learned to stop beating myself up because I didn't the first time I was in college.

I learned that the waiting to find out if I got into the nursing program is hell! March please hurry!

I learned my kids and hubby truly will support my insanity (pre-nursing at 33 with three teens is occasionally nuts).

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

That if someone mentions the Q word, the scheduled patient will crash and burn and the emergency patient will appear out of thin air. Yep, finished the year with a bang.

That my coworkers are awesome and I am so glad I switched specialty teams. We are so much more cohesive and so much more willing to help each other out than the rest of the OR.

That people I've only met online can be lots of fun. Maybe next year I'll add in meeting them in person.

That I didn't make any of my New Years resolutions. Nope, didn't lose 50 pounds. Nope, didn't get the spending money under control. What can I say, I like a good steak restaurant. There's always 2016.

[No Stars In My Eyes]

After reading what I just wrote, I realized it would be a very good thing to just click on the "Cancel" button. I learned maybe it isn't the best thing, being so wide open. I 'talk' too much.

11:47 PM. Happy New Year and goodnight.