"Atypical" Nurse? How discouraging... - page 4

Hello! I'll be 30 next year, and I'm unmarried with no children. I'd spent my early career years in a field where that was an advantage (I moved intercity/internationally often). Right after uni... Read More

  1. by   Purple_Scrubs
    I get this kind of sentiment all the time. I am 31, married for almost 10 years, childless, and a school nurse. People just don't get why I chose school nursing "since I obviously don't like children". I try and blow it off, but it can be hurtful and annoying.
  2. by   hiddencatRN
    Well, aside from the rudeness, wasn't nursing traditionally a profession for unmarried women? Weren't many of the first nurses nuns?

    I just don't get people who can't fathom that others have different needs and desires and don't need exactly the same thing they need to be happy and fulfilled.
  3. by   fuzzywuzzy
    Quote from emmalou*
    My god who are these people? For all they know you had a hysterectomy and can't have children or something! How rude.
    That's true. I was thinking the next time the OP encounters another one of those interrogations, she could throw herself on the ground and start sobbing about how she's unable to have children. Make it reeeeeeally awkward for the jerk who just pried into her personal life.
  4. by   futuremombabynurse
    I get the same thing a lot, but my classmates are a little more understanding of my position now that we're two quarters in. I'm married, but have no children. Out of my class of 35 last semester and 20 this semester, only five of us don't have children, and the ones that do tended, for a while, to "wonder" about us and how we'd react in the "real" world. When I pointed out that while yes, I don't have to rush home from school to feed and bed kids, that doesn't mean I haven't done it before (with four younger cousins and four "adopted" nieces and nephews) nor does it mean I'm not responsible. In fact, I think that my husband and me waiting to have kids until I get my RN degree is rather responsible!
  5. by   Darjeeling22
    Oh my goodness, I've come back to so many replies You all are so fantastic!!! A lot of people asked where I am - I'm on the eastern shore of Virginia, which I suppose classifies as "semi-rural" (to "rural" in some areas). I'm originally from a large city in New Jersey, so I'm very much a stranger here.

    Thank you all SO MUCH for all these replies. You've really made me feel better and reminded me of a lot of things the more logical side of me passed over. I suppose it's one of those things that you know is terribly silly in your head, but it takes hearing it from others to kick you in the butt.

    To fuzzywuzzy --> Haha. It would certainly make them feel terrible, I'm sure, but the lack of children isn't a medical choice. And I would never want to misrepresent that it was. (As I'm certainly not sobbing about not having children! Heh.)
  6. by   Darjeeling22
    Quote from PineappleCrush
    In all honesty, from what little you mentioned about your lifestyle, I envy it! I was a member of Americorps for a year during my second year of college which got me to switch my major to Nursing as well! And once I graduate and get my RN I want to travel and I want to truly help people who are impoverished, especially in under-developed countries. It's my dream to join Doctors Without Borders. And, although I would like to have a husband (eventually) I'm not really looking forward to having kids. If I do, I'm definitely adopting. So I don't think your lifestyle choice is a problem whatsoever!
    Pineapple, I think we're twins!!! Where did you do your AC service, if I may ask?
  7. by   ProfRN4
    I think the key thing (and this is for life in general) is being comfortable in who you are, and what decisions you have made. Whether you chose to be single, married, gay, straight, a parent or childless, or even same sex partners parenting. Let's face it, our world has changed, and we don't have to conform to society's 'standards'.

    In the same way that someone may question a person/couples decision to not have children, I feel like I want to sometimes question my friends/family/coworker's decision to have more children. I see so many people I know struggling with full time jobs, ridiculous mortgage payments, and relationships that are being tested and strained, and are having more kids. I know, who am I to judge? But that's exactly my point! I don't say it (I just think it).
  8. by   showbizrn
    Quote from darjeeling22

    i'll be 30 next year, and i'm unmarried with no children. now that i've jumped in and started my pre-nursing track i've been absolutely shocked by the negativity i've been getting from nurses and nursing students i've met recently - due to my choice of lifestyle. i was asked the other day by an rn family friend how i could possibly be thinking about going into nursing when i couldn't even be selfless enough to take care of a child. couple of weeks ago i was even told that patients wouldn't trust me as much if they thought i "hated men and children" (!!!!), and that getting hired would be harder since "family life shows that you're a reliable, caring person". these are just a handful of negative opinions i've been served, and they're certainly jarring.
    why did they go there? do we have to go there?

    i'm thirty
    and i don't get my skirt dirty. :d

    i'm a nurse
    with smarts and style.
    competent and prudent
    without husband or child.

    (then take-'em to-the-'hood
    like you know you could),

    and if you don't like it
    you got a hole-in-your soul
    and you don't eat chicken on sunday.:d:d:d

  9. by   2BSure
    Unreal! When they do this start laughing and ask if they can hear themselves.
  10. by   morte
    freakin' envy.....plain and simple.....as someone already mentioned, it wasnt that long ago when nurses were unmarried, and quit when they did marry...working preggers was not done.....and certainly students were all single and no kids...the family member mentioned sounds like a mother looking for grand kids.....my response to any of them would not be printable here......though the throwing myself on the ground and crying sounds pretty good....true or not, they earned the embarassment......enjoy you life as YOU have designed it.
  11. by   HippyGreenPeaceChick
    Life is yours to live as you deem appropriate, not for others
  12. by   morte
    Quote from Purple_Scrubs
    I get this kind of sentiment all the time. I am 31, married for almost 10 years, childless, and a school nurse. People just don't get why I chose school nursing "since I obviously don't like children". I try and blow it off, but it can be hurtful and annoying.
    frankly i think you should pick out someone with a big mouth, and when they do this, really blow a cork....HOW DARE YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS, DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE THAT IS?...as you begin to get teary eyed....no need to go into any details....you will have made you point and their big mouth will get the message out....
  13. by   PostOpPrincess
    Do you have an IGNORE button? Use it.