Gay Boomers and nursing attitudes

Nurses General Nursing

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I read an interestiing article, in the NYT, today. Apparently the first wave of gay boomers have begun to hit our LTC, Assisted Living, home health agencies. And more and more of them are being belittled, receiving less then quality care, being transfered to units that are not appropriate to them because of other residents. I am wondering, has anyone encountered this yet? What has happen? What is your attitidue? What is being done to correct the problems?

Woody:balloons:

With the above in mind I got an issue with Tweety's post. I will respect the decision of "the administrators" but I REALLY DISAGREE WITH IT. The Q-word is word that has been chosen by the the Q community to describe itself. If any word is banned it ought to be "homosexual."

I would welcome to opportunity to put my case before admin. I respect that they want to keep this a nice place and I know that the Q word has been and is used as a slur. I suggest it is not the word that is offensive but the way it is used.

I totally agree Czyja. While I mean no disrespect to the administrators (seriously--you guys rock), I wonder if providing education RE: the Q word might be more pertinent than appeasing sensitivities. In my experience the Q word is associated with power and pride--and it's increasing use over the last few years has been very positive. Also, "homosexual" refers strictly to gay/lesbians. Q refers to bi and trans--and anyone else that those 4 classifications leave out. Also, the "H" word only refers to sexual preference. There's much more to Q than sex :)

There is so much info out there for anyone interested. I'm posting a link below--I know it has the Q word in it, but it is a really nice place to start researching this topic for anyone interested.

http://www.queertheory.org/

-Kan

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A patient comes into your facility. He/she is accompanied by his/her significant other and that person is of the same sex. You might chose to ignore it's significance but let me assure you, others do not. Not other staff members, not other patients, not other patient's family members. And as it was pointed out, in the article, the staff members made their personal dislike known to the patient and/his/her S.O. And the other patient and family members were vocal in demanding the patient be moved because they did not want 'that person' in their room or sharing a room with a family member.

Perhaps I am more aware of other people's prejudice. And perhaps you are extremely fortunate and have never had the experience of seeing someone treated poorly because of the skin color, their religion, their sexual orientation. I have. And I understand there is a problem, a rather major problem, out in the health care community. And in the population in general. It is nice to think that homosexuals are accepted and not treated differently. The reality, outside of a few major cities, is they are treated rather poorly. And if you don't think so, that is your right but it is an inaccurate belief, IMHO.

Woody:balloons:

I have seen many people with visitors of the same sex, but I never have the time or desire to attempt to figure out who may be someone's sibling, spouse, or significant other. I can think of numerous times when a patient has taken the initiative in introducing a family member, but I have not had a patient introduce someone of the same sex as their SO or spouse. In reality it does not matter to me who is a homosexual and who is a heterosexual in my current position.

Health care professionals are human beings, and human beings can be very hateful. Unfortunately there are several groups of people in our population who are treated differently. As I said before if nurses treated all of our patients with respect and dignity, this would not be an issue. It is not our place to judge our patients, and as you probably know, this is a very common practice among hcps.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
I totally agree Czyja. While I mean no disrespect to the administrators (seriously--you guys rock), I wonder if providing education RE: the Q word might be more pertinent than appeasing sensitivities. In my experience the Q word is associated with power and pride--and it's increasing use over the last few years has been very positive. Also, "homosexual" refers strictly to gay/lesbians. Q refers to bi and trans--and anyone else that those 4 classifications leave out. Also, the "H" word only refers to sexual preference. There's much more to Q than sex :)

There is so much info out there for anyone interested. I'm posting a link below--I know it has the Q word in it, but it is a really nice place to start researching this topic for anyone interested.

http://www.queertheory.org/

-Kan

Before I became a co-administrator I discussed this topic with them. Now that it's come up again, we're in discussion again about it behind the scenes. I appreciate your input. For the time being in the open forums, let's not take it beyond what we've already discussed. Thanks for your input.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Progressive Care.
I have seen many people with visitors of the same sex, but I never have the time or desire to attempt to figure out who may be someone's sibling, spouse, or significant other.

But are there not situations when this is important information? For example, a woman visits an acutely ill male pt. and involves herself in his care in someway or another. Is she his spouse, his sister, his boss, his cleaning lady, his next door neighbor? From a nursing perspective don't you need know? And I am not a nurse yet, so I do not ask this rhetorically - I am curious to know what the gentle readers of this forum think.

At the risk of seemingly like I am speaking for the the entire LGBT community (I sure ain't) I think it is reasonable to say that many LGBT would want their hcp's to know they are LGBT if they were not afraid they would be discriminated against. From my perspective I have actively sought out LBGT hcp's for my own care. I am wary whenever I see a straight provider for the first time. "How do they feel about me?" I wonder. "Will be treated respectfully?" And mind you, I live in San Francisco, a city where discriminatory treatment of LGBt's is likely to get you run out of town rather then elected to higher office.

We also want our spouses involved in our care. Many of us would marry our spouses if we could so that we would have the comfort of knowing that our spouses would be making decisions for us when so needed. As we saw in early posts, powers of attorney and advance directives often don't mean squat when on is on a vent and one's estranged parents are kicking up a fuss.

Part of this may be generational thing too. LGBT elders often fought to be seen as "the same" as everybody else. A younger LGBT generation has observed that the "no difference" model is something of a folly. There is a difference. The principal one being that alot of people are frightened by us and/or hate us. And although there is difference, there need not be discrimination.

I truly mean no offense to any of the many, many kind people that I have read about on this site. Some of them have shared stories that reveal providing compassionate care to the LBGT community, often at risk to their careers. But I think for folks to run around saying "there is no difference" ignores the very real differences and minimized the great risks taken by courageous hcp's to take the meet and right road in the course observing an injustice.

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But I think for folks to run around saying "there is no difference" ignores the very real differences and minimized the great risks taken by courageous hcp's to take the meet and right road in the course observing an injustice.

maybe i've been misinterpreting the "no difference", but i took it to mean there is no difference in who one is: that we all are equal.

operating under that premise, you are going to advocate for your pt and the totality of their well-being: whether it is a physical, mental/emotional or spiritual need.

leslie

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Specializes in Critical Care, Progressive Care.
that we all are equal...

operating under that premise, you are going to advocate for your pt and the totality of their well-being: whether it is a physical, mental/emotional or spiritual need.

Yes. You are spot on with this. I see what you are saying. Perhaps I am too hung up on the semantics of all this. And putting in these terms makes is much more that a gay/straight thing. Thank you.

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Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.
But are there not situations when this is important information? For example, a woman visits an acutely ill male pt. and involves herself in his care in someway or another. Is she his spouse, his sister, his boss, his cleaning lady, his next door neighbor? From a nursing perspective don't you need know? And I am not a nurse yet, so I do not ask this rhetorically - I am curious to know what the gentle readers of this forum think.

At the risk of seemingly like I am speaking for the the entire LGBT community (I sure ain't) I think it is reasonable to say that many LGBT would want their hcp's to know they are LGBT.............

I had an experience where upon admission of a badly burned lineman, he was accompanied by a woman who presented herself as his wife. We never questioned her. And we accepted her authorization for bilateral BKA, as well as other surgical procedures. You can imagine our surprise when his wife showed up six weeks later, with their marriage certificate. After that, I always asked who a visitor was and their relationship to the patient. I had no problem with same sex partners, long before civil unions. And when there were problems with parents and/or siblings, we asked the patient.

Woody:balloons:

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Specializes in Trauma ICU,ER,ACLS/BLS instructor.

Did ya notice that there r some very eloquent,smart and savy posters on this forum? Thanks to ya all!

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Great thread. For what it's worth, an earlier poster suggested that a federal law prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation. Unfortunately, that is not the case. (Although President Clinton did sign a bill in 1998 that bans employment discrimination based on sexual orientation for federal employees.) A bill is still pending in congress that would make employment discrimination based on sexual orientation illegal nationwide.

Otherwise, employment discrimination remains legal in 30 states. Discrimination in housing remains legal as well.

Pretty sad for the self-proclaimed land of the free.

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Specializes in Cardiac Care, ICU.
Where have you been? You are definately behind the times. :lol2:

Ever here of the mainstream show "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy", "Queer as Folk", etc. It's pretty mainstream.

I use the word to talk about myself and the community often, although through discussions with the administrators, they ask that the word not be used in these forums, as people are still sensitive and uncomfortable with it. But trust me, it's quite common in certain circles.

:lol2: Ok, this relic from a bygone era didn't realize people had moved on. I thought it was like when AAs call thmseves the "N" word; ok if they do it but not ok if a white does it b/c of the bigotry associated w/ it. Still don't think I could get comfortable w/ the "Q" word though for just that reason.

I thankfully can say that it really isn't an issue in my unit in the "bible thumping south" (don't get offended, term used to make a point). Many of the boomers have moved south in their golden years. IN our ICU, we get many LTC and nursing home populations.

We are lucky to have a varied staff of many cultures and an openness to gay/lesbian lifestyle as many of our staff are. The acceptance started in the culture of our unit and the great staff we have which transfers to great care and acceptance of patients, their culture and lifestyle.

Maybe these areas with problems need to make changes in their work culture first, in order for change to occur-acceptance occur with a diverse patient population. I actually find it shocking.

But again, we're simply not talking nursing staff, we're discussing long term residents. I may be simplifying the problem by stating that some people can't be changed, but through interactions and living together it seems that that type of "difference" would no longer make a difference as they get to know each other and find that there really aren't differences. Nursing staff can only encourage interactions and find good opportunities to do so and it's vital that they do.

As a Christian from the "bible thumping South" myself, no offense taken. I too have seen amazing compassion given by my coworkers here in the deep South to members of every racial, religeous, ethnic, socio-economic, and sexual orientation group. I hope one day the South will not be defined by the mistakes of the past but by the wonderful examples I see on a daily basis in my unit.

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Specializes in Emergency.

"Homosexual" is, however, the word used by a straight german psychiatrist to describe the community. Many gays and lesbians find it offensive.

Why would this be offensive?

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Specializes in Critical Care, Progressive Care.
Why would this be offensive?

Some find it offensive for the following reasons;

1. It is seen as a label used by the straight community to describe the LGB and (strangely) T community. Although it was coined by a psychiatrist of seemingly good intentions back in the 19th century the result was that lesbian and gay behavior was "medicalized."

2. The medicalization of same sex sexual attraction and behavior led to great suffering. "Treatments," including but not limited to hormone therapy, psychotherapy, aversion therapy, and ECT were used to "cure" same sex attraction.

3. Despite the requests by the many LGBT organizations to abandon the term,it persists. Thus, outsiders continue to "name" the LGBT community. To name something is to have power over it. Many in the LGBT community find this to be an assault on their attempt to create their own identity.

4. It is noteworthy that those who oppose giving rights to the LGBT community (ie anti-discrimination, marriage rights etc) often speak of the "homosexual lobby." "Homosexual" remains the preferred term of those who dislike the LGBT's, or at least want to ensure that they cannot marry each other. When the gay community adopted the word "gay" it was met with anger by hostile straights with rhetoric such as "there is nothing gay about being gay." Such people (Anita Bryant and her heirs) favored the word "homosexual."

5. It is also noteworthy that, these days, the term is almost NEVER used by LGBT folks to describe themselves.

In a way, many see the term rather like "negro." Something used by others to describe a group in the process of disempowering them.

In the 1980's most newspapers stopped using the word "homosexual" replacing it with "lesbian and gay" at the request of lesbian and gay advocacy groups. A notable exception was the New York Times. After many years of vigorous campaigning that paper also changed its editorial policy.

In a nut shell, if you call a gay man a "homosexual" to his face he probably won't consider it to be a fightin' word, but he'll sure to be wary of you.

So if one is caring for a gay pt, one would be thoughtful to avoid using the word "homosexual" in favor of "gay." This would let the pt know that you're cool with them as they are.

I hope this is helpful.

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