Gay Boomers and nursing attitudes

RN BSN 2009 · Oct 14, 2007

:lol2:

There are no gay people in Iran either.

cmo421 · Oct 14, 2007

Ok, I think I got it! I know now how I want to be referred as. Christine, that is it. Meaning I just wanna be me,and I just want us all to be treated as individuals. Yes we r our own community. Different needs and family definitions. But basically, we are all humans. Kindness,honesty,dignity,truthfullness, and caring hearts. Those are the qualities of the people I want caring for me when I officially become an elder. Not much ta ask is it?

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2007

Ok, this relic from a bygone era didn't realize people had moved on. I thought it was like when AAs call thmseves the "N" word; ok if they do it but not ok if a white does it b/c of the bigotry associated w/ it. Still don't think I could get comfortable w/ the "Q" word though for just that reason.

You don't have to be comfortable with it, or use it yourself, just accept that it's now mainstream and don't be offended when you hear it or read it. We still have our own "n-word", which is the "f-word" It's highly offensive to pretty much everyone, but once in a blue moon only in the presence of other very close gay friends I might say it. But you can't. LOL Semantics can get a bit confusing. :lol2:

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Oct 15, 2007

I too have been interpreting the 'don't treat anybody differently' to mean that I would give you the same caring, compassion, and respect that I'd give anybody. I'd cry or laugh or hug or whatever just like I would with anyone.

Plan of care, OTOH, is different for everybody. Every patient that I have contact with has a different plan of care, even if their ultimate goals are the same.

I think the first meaning is what most (if not all) of us are talking about. We are all just people and we all deserve the same dignities.

James Huffman · Oct 15, 2007

You don't have to be comfortable with it, or use it yourself, just accept that it's now mainstream and don't be offended when you hear it or read it. We still have our own "n-word", which is the "f-word" It's highly offensive to pretty much everyone, but once in a blue moon only in the presence of other very close gay friends I might say it. But you can't. LOL Semantics can get a bit confusing.

I'll throw in my 2 cents on semantics.

Calling it "the f-word" (or "the n-word") only means that we cause the reader to supply the offending word in their mind. I'm not sure why we (as a society) can't simply use the words if we feel like we have to. I think these circumlocutions are a symptom of our society's inability to deal with straight talk. (OK, that sounds funny given the present discussion, but you know what I mean )

In other words, I'm not suggesting insulting anyone, but why do we have to avoid the words in discussions like this?

Noryn · Oct 15, 2007

Before I became a co-administrator I discussed this topic with them. Now that it's come up again, we're in discussion again about it behind the scenes. I appreciate your input. For the time being in the open forums, let's not take it beyond what we've already discussed. Thanks for your input.

I think the administrators do a great job on this board and I enjoy coming here. If you are going to ban a word please ban the word NCLEX. My gosh I get so tired of reading, "Just took my NCLEX what does cutting off at 75 questions mean?" :lol2:

No seriously, I think Kanzai has done a great job in explaining why the Q word should be utilized. It is more mainstream now, as you mentioned earlier it is on my tv. By not allowing to use this word, which has been accepted by many groups, I think is a form of prejudice related to personal experience or misconceptions of this word.

Noryn · Oct 15, 2007

You don't have to be comfortable with it, or use it yourself, just accept that it's now mainstream and don't be offended when you hear it or read it. We still have our own "n-word", which is the "f-word" It's highly offensive to pretty much everyone, but once in a blue moon only in the presence of other very close gay friends I might say it. But you can't. LOL Semantics can get a bit confusing.

If you can say it without offense then it must not be offensive. I dont see how words can take on a different "meaning" simply by the color of someone's skin or lifestyle. Otherwise people are not going to accept this and actually develop either resentment or the feeling that it is socially acceptable to use the word. Just like the "N" word, black leaders have came out and strongly denounced use of this word by anyone. You cant only denounce some people while turning a blind eye to other people.

If the word is truly that offensive, and I am aware of how offensive it is, in my opinion you would drop it from your vocabulary like I have.

rn/writer, RN · Oct 15, 2007

I'll throw in my 2 cents on semantics.
Calling it "the f-word" (or "the n-word") only means that we cause the reader to supply the offending word in their mind. I'm not sure why we (as a society) can't simply use the words if we feel like we have to. I think these circumlocutions are a symptom of our society's inability to deal with straight talk. (OK, that sounds funny given the present discussion, but you know what I mean )
In other words, I'm not suggesting insulting anyone, but why do we have to avoid the words in discussions like this?

Those who use these euphemisms likely do so to avoid inviting a backlash that will almost certainly escalate from that point onward and/or to avoid giving offense.

Saying "the f-word" or "the n-word" instead is, I think, a way of broaching the subject while still making it clear that the speaker is not in favor of their use. We live in such a knee-jerk atmosphere of late that just the mention of these and other similarly controversial words is sometimes enough to make people see red. They don't take the time to consider the entire message or the context of the usage and quickly launch into a vitriolic counterstrike. It is an unfortunate but all too common reality that these inflammatory words can incite riotous responses just by showing up on a page or in a conversation. People who bring them up them mainly to decry their use sometimes get blasted for mentioning them at all, even if it's to say that the words have no place in intelligent discussion. The mere act of calling them forth in any form is equated with "using" them or deliberately offending others, never mind what the person intended.

The euphemisms take the words that are being discussed and tack on a huge a disclaimer that says, "Don't shoot me! I don't like these words either."

Besides all that, most of us just don't like saying them.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 15, 2007

I'll throw in my 2 cents on semantics.
Calling it "the f-word" (or "the n-word") only means that we cause the reader to supply the offending word in their mind. I'm not sure why we (as a society) can't simply use the words if we feel like we have to. I think these circumlocutions are a symptom of our society's inability to deal with straight talk. (OK, that sounds funny given the present discussion, but you know what I mean )
In other words, I'm not suggesting insulting anyone, but why do we have to avoid the words in discussions like this?

The censors won't censor the f-word, much to my irritation, but it will the n-word so that's part of the reason. Otherwise I agree with RNWriter above. I do use the f-word out loud, 99.999% of the time it's with other gay people.

grbrico · Oct 15, 2007

That is absolutely horrid.... Despite anyone's sexual affinity... they are still human beings.. needing care..... I dont care if they want to date a Llama... they are still entitled to safe, professional, ethical and moral care.

People are people and they will pick and chose what they want.. its a little thing I like to call FREE WILL. That doesn't make them any less human nor should it make others any less humane.

When people in this profession, and well quite frankly people in general learn about acceptance... we will be much better off.

It may not be our choice... or our group of friends choice... or hell not even our religions choice.. but you know whats so great about the human race.... WE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE THOSE choices...

Dont throw stones when you live in a glass house....

HUGS,

Rae

kanzi monkey · Oct 15, 2007

The censors won't censor the f-word, much to my irritation, but it will the n-word so that's part of the reason. Otherwise I agree with RNWriter above. I do use the f-word out loud, 99.999% of the time it's with other gay people.

It's funny--I've started to get used to the "f-word" again b/c I watch a lot of BBC. Hearing it in the context of "having a smoke" is very different than hearing it used by an immature jerk on x-box live. I just revealed way too much about my nerdy hobbies. :)

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Oct 15, 2007

It's interesting where this thread has gone.

The other night at work we were talking about Don Imus...several black nurses, a couple white nurses, and an Asian nurse. I actually said the 'n-word' -- quoting someone -- and nobody got offended even though I felt funny saying it myself. A couple of the black nurses said it too in the conversation, also quoting people. It's not a word that's in my (or their) vocabulary, nor is the f-word.

I remember when I was younger talking with a cousin of mine just a little older than I was and he used the f-word in reference to my uncle (see my 1st post in this thread) and even though I didn't really know what 'gay' meant, I knew it had something to do with that. And I knew it was an insult, and I didn't understand why he used it.

But you know what? I think this is a phenomenon in many many people groups. Mexicans will call each other 'nopal' (cactus) and some even call each other mojados (wetbacks). I don't like the second term (nopal is pretty benign) and I don't use it, but my husband (who is Mexican) does. I guess the thinking is if you can use it in a way that's funny to you, it takes some of the sting away. Using the enemy's weapon against him, if you will. Like I said, I personally don't like it and don't use it. Just a thought.

Arwen