Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day......
I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey, cause I'm self propelled!":rotfl:
I once had a pt ask me what time her "autopsy was scheduled for that day", I smiled and said "your BIOPSY will be later today".
I once had a little old lady ask me if I liked my job because I got to look at naked men all day.... :imbar
Just the other day I had an 84 year old lady ask me if I knew if her amniocentesis was scheduled for today or tomorrow. What she was asking about was her thoracentesis..
I love alcohol withdrawal patients. They never fail to keep me laughing. One night, I had an old man who was a pill! I ended up having to put him in 4-point restraints. Despite my efforts, he still tried to escape. Sitting at the nurse's station, I could see him doing sit-ups, trying to get the restraints loose. I yelled, "Hey, I can see you!" He said, "I see you too! Quit being so nosy!"
Later on, I almost peed in my pants.. He had been quiet for awhile and I was hoping that he had fallen asleep. All of a sudden I heard him call out, "Can anyone hear me?!?! Help! I'm tied up! Follow the sound of my voice!" Hahaha that still cracks me up!
I love alcohol withdrawal patients. They never fail to keep me laughing. One night, I had an old man who was a pill! I ended up having to put him in 4-point restraints. Despite my efforts, he still tried to escape. Sitting at the nurse's station, I could see him doing sit-ups, trying to get the restraints loose. I yelled, "Hey, I can see you!" He said, "I see you too! Quit being so nosy!"
Later on, I almost peed in my pants.. He had been quiet for awhile and I was hoping that he had fallen asleep. All of a sudden I heard him call out, "Can anyone hear me?!?! Help! I'm tied up! Follow the sound of my voice!" Hahaha that still cracks me up!
I love alcohol withdrawal patients. They never fail to keep me laughing. One night, I had an old man who was a pill! I ended up having to put him in 4-point restraints. Despite my efforts, he still tried to escape. Sitting at the nurse's station, I could see him doing sit-ups, trying to get the restraints loose. I yelled, "Hey, I can see you!" He said, "I see you too! Quit being so nosy!"
Later on, I almost peed in my pants.. He had been quiet for awhile and I was hoping that he had fallen asleep. All of a sudden I heard him call out, "Can anyone hear me?!?! Help! I'm tied up! Follow the sound of my voice!" Hahaha that still cracks me up!
I had a pt. in a semi-private room who needed frequent neuro checks. So I tried to speak softly so the roommate wouldn't be disturbed. I asked my pt. can you tell me your name? And he slowly stated "My name is...Earl" All of a sudden I hear a hearty laugh from the roommate. And yes, it was my pts' name. Cute.
Specializes in ICU. Med/Surg: Ortho, Neuro, & Cardiac.
Last night I moved a very combative (and very confused) pt up in bed. He apparently thought we jerked him up in bed really hard, and he got in my face and told me that next time he would shake a salt shaker in my face if I wasn't more gentle.
I have a great aunt who had already experienced laryngeal cancer and lives with a tracheostomy. Surprisingly enough, she can speak at the level of a harsh whisper. Years afterward, she had a lump appear in a breast. On the morning of her surgery, her surgeon was discussing her options. "Mrs. C, if the report from pathology comes back as cancer, do you want us to go ahead and remove the breast?" Her reply, "Sure. I just have one question. Can you take the one that's left and shift it to the center so I won't be off balance?" You gotta love her sense of humor...:chuckle
I work in L&D and I had a 19 yo pt say the following when the doctor walked up to her bed to do a SVE (Sterile lady partsl Exam). She looked at me and asked "what is he going to do"? I said "he is going to examine you". She said "ooohhh, but his fingers are sooo big".
I almost died! I had to turn away to laugh silently. I was thinking to myself "What was in there in the first place to get you pregnant?". hahahahahaha :chuckle
I work in L&D and I had a 19 yo pt say the following when the doctor walked up to her bed to do a SVE (Sterile lady partsl Exam). She looked at me and asked "what is he going to do"? I said "he is going to examine you". She said "ooohhh, but his fingers are sooo big".
I almost died! I had to turn away to laugh silently. I was thinking to myself "What was in there in the first place to get you pregnant?". hahahahahaha :chuckle
Not criticising this, as we all think of this when working OB...but when we are getting pregnant, unless it is a rape, we are usually ready, willing and able, and the body is also. My doctor's size 10 gloved fingers were examining at a time when I was NOT feeling any of the above. I usually said something like "He will be gentle, try to relax and take deep breaths.
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alcrab01
34 Posts
I love alcohol withdrawal patients. They never fail to keep me laughing. One night, I had an old man who was a pill! I ended up having to put him in 4-point restraints. Despite my efforts, he still tried to escape. Sitting at the nurse's station, I could see him doing sit-ups, trying to get the restraints loose. I yelled, "Hey, I can see you!" He said, "I see you too! Quit being so nosy!"
Later on, I almost peed in my pants.. He had been quiet for awhile and I was hoping that he had fallen asleep. All of a sudden I heard him call out, "Can anyone hear me?!?! Help! I'm tied up! Follow the sound of my voice!" Hahaha that still cracks me up!