Funny Sign In Slips

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Some ER's have patients who walk in to triage fill out a triage slip with name and chief complaint. they are always interesting due to misspellings and funny things that people write. care to share some funny ones with us?

ill go first, one girl wrote as her symptoms...."east infection"

Specializes in ED staff.

"I have poison ivy in a place it shouldn't be." Ok, where do you have it? "My as$hole"

Uhmm ok, tell me the whole story. "well see, my BF had been cutting grass all day and he came home and we had anal sex (I really didn't want to know that but I asked). "Now I have this blistery rash in my as$hole." Nah, she had herpes.

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.

patient's chief complaint verbatim: "hot hot *****, itchy itchy, burn burn, pee pee" .... ended up being a UTI... :confused:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

"gots crabs in ma public hairs.":uhoh3::eek:

that poor kid was pitiful. she was 14 and a street kid.

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Specializes in ED.

"My peanis is jacked up" Yup. That's a new medical term. Maybe you've heard of it?

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

Saw this one the other day "Low level of protons."

Turns out her MD called her and told her to come to the ER since her *protime* was 35.

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Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care (CEN, CCRN).
Saw this one the other day "Low level of protons."

Turns out her MD called her and told her to come to the ER since her *protime* was 35.

...Funny thing is, she would've been completely right if she'd been in alkalosis. :jester:

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Specializes in Med Surg, ER, OR.

We don't do the sign in slip, but the other day I had a patient prought in my squad none the less and was accompanied by a very angry, and belittling ex-wife, with whom he lives. the complaint...will not talk. Seriously?! He won't talk? Really?! I am not buying it, since I asked him his first name, and he began to speak one syllable "duh", but then refrained and stopped moving lips, or attempting. Later, outside of the presence of his ex-wife, I asked him if he was faking it and he shook his head no. After she left, and he realized we were catching on to his scheme, he admitted, that he was able to speak, but he was just fed up with his ex-wife and needed somewhere to relax for a few minutes. He isn't going to pay for the ER visit probably, but glad he was able to not be dumb much longer. Sorry for the rant, but even though no slip was written on (he couldn't write anyway), he did choose a dumb excuse.

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"pain my badder"

Thought she had a UTI. Nice lady. Wish I could remember more because we get some REALLY funny ones! It's one of my favorite things to look for when I'm in need of a laugh at work. There's at least one good one every day!

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

Two more:

"Whole in arm"

"Whole in tooth"

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Specializes in ED, Informatics, Clinical Analyst.

This was a "medical emergency" I responded to while working as a paramedic.

Chief complaint of:

"I wanted fried fish for dinner but my wife wouldn't make it for me. She said the doctor said I'm not supposed to eat fried food but she would bake the fish. I don't want baked fish I want it fried! She makes me so mad and I got the pressure and the sugar" (this is no quite verbatim but you get the idea)

Another good one:

"I tied my boot too tight yesterday and my foot hurts"

:uhoh3:

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Not ER but I thought it was funny

L&D

Me: Have you had a bowel movement?

Very pregnant teen: No, I didnt take lamaze and Im not really sure how to do that movement :rotfl:

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Specializes in Emergency.

Rabbi shot

Person needed 2nd rabies shot -

My friend who was in triage came into the treatment area hysterical laughing telling me that she did check the waiting room just in case it was legit :)

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