Funniest Slips

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Sometimes staying professional is a challenge!

What's the funniest thing you've accidentally (or purposefully) said to a patient or family?!

My Story: I had one of those patients that is perfectly capable of doing things on his own but just wanted all of us to do everything for him and be a pervert. So he called me in to help him use the urinal for the 8th time, so I walked in, grudgingly put his junk in the urinal for him without a word, and then when he was done I started to walk out. He called back to me "What, don't be rude, no conversation?"... without thinking I turned around and said "Really you want me to have a nice chat like I'm not standing there holding your dick for you?"

He looked at me shocked.. I realized what I said and quickly corrected myself LOL but man.. sometimes when you lose patience, sometimes things just blurt out!

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.

when I worked LTC I had a resident who was a bilateral BKA who was also diabetic. One evening he asked me to trim his finger nails and I told him I would be able to do that. I then went on to explain to him I couldn't trim his toe nails because as he was diabetic, it was against policy. Almost immediately after I said that, I realized my mistake. My resident just burst out laughing. He found it very amusing. He didn't let me live it down but he was amused.

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I had a very similar patient. Diabetic, bilateral AKA who would not stop going on about what a hard stick she was while I was trying to put in an IV. She kept going on about it even after I had one. Then she starts talking about how when she was in the hospital before she had a roommate who was also a hard stick and wound up with an IV in her foot and how awful that was. Without thinking I replied "Well at least you don't have to worry about that." Immediately realizing my blunder I turned around to see the patient just staring at me. "I'm so sorry, I worked with way too many amputees at a previous job. I think some of their humor must have rubbed off on me."

The patient just stared at me a second longer and the in s completely serious voice said "No, that was funny because I don't have feet. That's funny."

I was just off orientation and kept waiting for my manager to hunt me down and fire me.

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Specializes in Medical Oncology, ER.

Had told patients who were NPO that dinner would be coming soon.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Had told patients who were NPO that dinner would be coming soon.

Did you also add "And you don't get any!"?

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I jokingly asked a patient's step dad if he was color blind. Turns out he is. And righhhht after he said yes, I remembered that his wife had told me that about him months before, but I forgot.

One kind of funny thing I did in charting....we have paper charting with my private duty agency...the mom had on Judge Judy on the tv right next to me. I was semi listening while charting and heard the word "prison." I wrote that the plan was for the patient (a peds case) to return to prison on Monday, instead of school. So of course there is just a single line through it, very visible. I'm sure my supervisor got a kick out of that

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Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.
... One kind of funny thing I did in charting....we have paper charting with my private duty agency...the mom had on Judge Judy on the tv right next to me. I was semi listening while charting and heard the word "prison." I wrote that the plan was for the patient (a peds case) to return to prison on Monday, instead of school. So of course there is just a single line through it, very visible. I'm sure my supervisor got a kick out of that

I once charted, "Report off to God" when I was trying to say, "Report off to Dad." And - of course - that single line through it did nothing to hide my blooper.

The Dad & I had just been talking about God. And, yes, I don't bring up religion at work, but when the Christian parent refers to God when talking to this Christian nurse, of course I answer.

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Specializes in Medical Oncology, ER.

No it typically went "oh wait sorry youre npo so you can't eat"

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Specializes in Pharmacy, Mathematics, Physics, and Educator.

This isn't about something that I said, but about a prescription error I almost made. This happened back in the 70's, but I am still grateful that I caught the mistake before it went out to the patient.

The patient's adult daughter brought in a prescription for her elderly father who was standing to the side with his cane. The prescription was poorly handwritten, and I took it as Analgesic Oint, a rubefacient containing menthol and methyl salicylate. The sig was just U.D.

I was working alone and took the tube out to the daughter and told her to just have him apply it where it was needed, say his elbow. She replied, "Well, it's not for his elbow." I asked what it was for and she replied, "He has hemorrhoids."

I went in the back and took another look at the prescription and could see it was Anugesic Oint, a hemorrhoid treatment.

That poor old guy would have gone home and thought to himself, "Oh, this is going to feel so good" then hit the ceiling.

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Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.
This isn't about something that I said, but about a prescription error I almost made. This happened back in the 70's, but I am still grateful that I caught the mistake before it went out to the patient.

The patient's adult daughter brought in a prescription for her elderly father who was standing to the side with his cane. The prescription was poorly handwritten, and I took it as Analgesic Oint, a rubefacient containing menthol and methyl salicylate. The sig was just U.D.

I was working alone and took the tube out to the daughter and told her to just have him apply it where it was needed, say his elbow. She replied, "Well, it's not for his elbow." I asked what it was for and she replied, "He has hemorrhoids."

I went in the back and took another look at the prescription and could see it was Anugesic Oint, a hemorrhoid treatment.

That poor old guy would have gone home and thought to himself, "Oh, this is going to feel so good" then hit the ceiling.

Oh, my! MENTHOL! Oh, what a surprised man he would have been!

Hit the ceiling! Oh, yeah.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I took it as Analgesic Oint, a rubefacient containing menthol and methyl salicylate.

"He has hemorrhoids."

That poor old guy would have gone home and thought to himself, "Oh, this is going to feel so good" then hit the ceiling.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
The prescription was poorly handwritten, and I took it as Analgesic Oint, a rubefacient containing menthol and methyl salicylate.

I think that same thing happened in an old movie!

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