Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

[nilepoc]

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

[DOBOY]

I read a bunch of these and had to add a few of my own.

After dealing with an extremly needy pt the MD took out his Rx pad, wrote whatever it takes, signed his name and handed it to me.

Just last night the P.A. in the ER wrote dischare instructions including "Please stay inside when the street lights come on" pt was in an altercation

[Ann RN]

One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.

For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

I remember these!!

[Ann RN]

Entire page of orders on a critical patient -

Last 3 orders:

Keep taking bp until stable

Keep pt. comfortably numb

PBAB (pine box at bedside)

[Anernurse2b]

This week a doctor wrote "propofol holiday for this patient 30 minutes every shift" The patient is miserable and certainly won't think turning off the propofol is any kind of 'holiday'!

We actually have an ICU protocol now called a "Sedation Vacation". It has to be ordered by a doc and has guidelines. Allows for neuro and respiratory assessments, etc. Some patients appreciate it; and I guess the evidence supports it decreases vent time. Interesting!

[psalm, RN]

...discharge orders "no cocaine".

[tryingtomakeit, RN]

I was writing a telephone order once to admit a pt to L&D. I accidently wrote "damit to L&D". It wasn't caught until the OB was signing orders. He never let me live it down! :chair: :chuckle

[Anagray, BSN]

From H & P:

" patient was seen in the emergency room for removal of foley catheter from his right JV" as told by MD

Meaning - patient was seen in the emergency room for right JV thrombosis with subsequent removal of R chest port. :chuckle

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I saw this the other night. Ordered for a pt with anxiety.

Valium 5mg PO q6h ATC. Valium q6h PRN. So is the med ATC or PRN. This order kinda made us laugh since the prn defeated the purpose of the atc order. Written by the neuro surg resident on call.

[Anernurse2b]

Had an order the other night for a patient with an unstable cervical spine - "NO COUGHING". Right under propofol for light sedation. And the patient was on the vent.... The doc was serious but its an order hard to carry out without Nimbex or something else other than Diprivan. We had Ativan and Valium, followed by the order to keep systolic >90. Ok, so if we are keeping her sedated to not cough, where are the pressors to keep her BP up?? Or just try to teach her not to cough? LOL!

[roxyblueyes]

A DC order written by NP for an antihistimine read ----- DC with first frost my reply to her prior to taking off order was - Define frost - would that be the first hard frost or the soft dewy kind? No verbal return reply that is quotable.

[KaroSnowQueen, RN]

Surgeon must have been asleep:

On a pt who was FRESH post op with a LAKA, he wrote "OOB and ambulate QID."

Couldn't see making the poor pt hop down the hall along with his PCA pump.

Had this pt on Monday, Friday the order still on the kardex, but at least now PT was seeing the pt, (although NOT ambulating him).

[SecondGenRN]

On the "obvious orders" note...

We had a patient admitted after the hospitalist had already left for the day, so the outpatint doc wrote the admit orders, including:

"Blood cultures x 2 - draw before starting abx." (Thanks for clarifying that, I was planning to give the levaquin first.)

"Call for temp >100."

First thing the attending did when arriving in the morning was write an order to "Change call parameters to routine standards." Guess he didn't appreciate a 3 am call for a temp of 100.2.

hahahaha sooo funny:)

I can't believe I just read this thread from start to finish!