Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Published

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.

Funniest one I have heard of so far was for a "Chest X-ray for line placement of a CVC". In the hospital I work in, they have to get a chest x-ray every time they do something invasive near the lungs such as intubation, placing of a CVC, etc. so that would have been a correct order except the CVC was placed femorally. I guess the doctor forgot where the lungs were or something...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Diabetes ED, (CDE), CCU, Pulmonary/HIV.

1 Scotch qhs. (And the hospital actually had written policy for alcohol use, with all available brands listed) Order was placed through dietary.

Same doctor wrote "Ocean Spray" at bedside. He meant saliine nasal spray. He got a big bottle of cranberry juice!

This one wasn't an order, but a diagnosis "Accute Repeat Falls Pneumonia" A combination of MD handwriting and admitting clerk's interpretation. Any nurse would be able to tell you that it was Accute Resp. Failure & Pneumonia. Still makes me laugh.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Diabetes ED, (CDE), CCU, Pulmonary/HIV.

I must be working too hard--will someone please explain Darwin Consult.

(The only thing I could think of was Darvon Compound--but as someone said on another board, "No one uses that for pain anymore."

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Diabetes ED, (CDE), CCU, Pulmonary/HIV.
WHAT was she thinking???

Oops, wrong quote

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Diabetes ED, (CDE), CCU, Pulmonary/HIV.
Not an order but very funny

My 7 year old son was admitted to the hospital for cervical adenitis.(cervical spine, inflamation of the adenoids) , The Registrar promptly took him to the OB/GYN floor, where he was subjected to screaming, laboring women, he began t cry for 20 minutes until she found out that all 7 year olds go to the peds floor.

I guess she thought he had a cervix!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in I do it all baby!.
Got a diabetic patient transferred from another facility with the transfer orders as follows

If patient receives Humulin N coverage, for god sakes make sure he is transferred with his feeding running.

If he doesn't have his feeding going, and receives insulin, he will die. We will have killed him.

Do not touch dressings. I will do them myself. I know how they should be done.

This doc was known for his colorful charting, but some of the things still make my jaw drop!:p

I love this one!! :roll

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in I do it all baby!.
We had a nurse on our floor that had a total hystorectomy she cam to the ER with abdominal pain on the left side the PA who was on duty ordered

pregnancy test and an ultrasound to r/o tubal pregnancy because she had not had a period status post hyst.

OMG....:eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

"Darwin consult" Perhaps the doc believed that the patient was a bit behind from an evolution standpoint.

Not sure what Darwin could do for the pt. After all, Darwin has evolved beyond this world!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.
On inpatient order sheet:

CTBKLO

... of course I had to ask!

Coffin to bediside, keep lid open

I've been LMAO at this one for like 5 minutes now!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.
We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

Kelly:)

As many others have said....this is not unusual. I've given it to people who could feed themselves and put it down many NGs and GTs (best to open the can a while before and let it go flat)....our docs usually order it 1 or 2 cans with meals or TID.

Anyway....I think it bears repeating that ETOH withdraw is the one kind of withdraw that CAN KILL YOU!!! Just about any other drug will just make you sick and feel like dying, but ETOH can actually make you do it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.
An RN friend of mine called me one day and asked me "how would you describe drainage containing pus"?

I thought it was an odd question - until I thought about it.... someone on her floor had written something to the effect of:

"Patient has pu%%y drainage coming from the wound site"

:smilecoffeecup:

Sara

"Purulent" works just fine. Of course, you could also chart it the way we were taught in school, and just describe it: thick yellow/green/white/whatever exudate.

OK, back on topic: a neurosurgery PA wrote for a lady partsl yeast infection cream something like "tid." The nurses told him that it's generally used at bedtime for seven days. "Oh, I don't remember all that woman stuff, just write it the way it's supposed to be used!" The charge nurse changed it but did enjoy teasing him about it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I must be working too hard--will someone please explain Darwin Consult.

(The only thing I could think of was Darvon Compound--but as someone said on another board, "No one uses that for pain anymore."

Have you heard of the Darwin awards? It is a list of stupid stuff that people do like robbing your house and leaving their wallet there. I think usually the person ends up dying in the end by doing something idiotic and so them dying contributes to society in that they took themselves out of the gene pool.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion