Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Utilization Management.
"Insert foley catheter in PEG hole, inflate and send back to NH"

Actually, we used to do that if a patient pulled a GT out at the nursing home in order to keep the GT opening patent.

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This is the best laugh I have had in 2 days!! We had a MD write once: Please pull pt up in bed. For crying out loud, just come and get me and tell me the pt needs repositioned!!

Another favorite "dumb" order I have seen several residents write is: Call physician on call for declining condition, abnormal VS or critical labs. :eek: :eek:

This has to be one of my favorite all time threads!!

I LOVE this thread. This is the best laugh I have ahd all day! OB is very boring as far as orders go...................I wish I had something funny to add.

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for diagnosis i have seen junk food junky and excessive sexual behavior

Actually, once long ago, I saw a dx in a Kardex that said "broken member." I forgot about that one until right now.

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"Flower care q 24h" (on an ICU patient -- not supposed to HAVE flowers in the ICU!)

Or this one, printed entirely in caps over an entire page of the order book" YES I DO WANT ABGS Q 1 HOUR EVEN THOUGH THE PATIENT IS A DNR AND EVEN THOUGH YOU LAZY MORONS HAVE TO STICK HER."

Just a question....did you guys write this doc up for this? I certainly hope so.

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"Stop smoking crack"

Discharge order for a pt that called 911 because she smoked too much crack c/o "my head is going to explode" yes we all wore protective gear just in case... you never know....

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
"Stop smoking crack"

Discharge order for a pt that called 911 because she smoked too much crack c/o "my head is going to explode" yes we all wore protective gear just in case... you never know....

lost in boston,

The order read.....FAMILY DOG TO VISIT STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And I had a pt. with admitting dx of "Eurosepsis". Must have gotten it on a trip.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :roll :roll :roll

Oh man...classic....must be a new STD :rolleyes:

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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :roll :roll :roll

Oh man...classic....must be a new STD :rolleyes:

One seen today, Admitting Dx for a stable gait person: Abnormal Gait. If her gait is abnormal then I have it as well.

Adam, RN

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Specializes in Nursing Assistant/ Army Medic, LVN.
Actually, once long ago, I saw a dx in a Kardex that said "broken member." I forgot about that one until right now.

I didn't know that could happen until recently. That's GOTTA hurt!! :eek:

I'm a little uncomfortable just thinking about it. :chair:

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1. Please collect UA for c&s that was ordered yesterday. (Pt had bladder ca 30 years ago, was s/p bladder removal and his ureters were connected to his colon, so he urinated through his rectum. Trust me, reason for not collecting UA was carefully documented in nurses notes.)

2. Place wander guard on pt. ( pt was bilateral BKA, and needed assistance with transfers)

3. Insert foley catheter (pt had psych hx, was s/p self amputation of member x4 years ago, ummm I'll defer that one to GU)

4. If pt returns to floor smelling of ETOH, stat drug screen, and discharge irregular.

5. NG tube to intermittent LWS at all times, full liquid diet.

6. If patient too comatose to take lactulose po, then will administer as a lactulose enemy.

7. Please place DVT's bilaterally.(I think he ment PCD's, i.e. leg pumps)

Mostly have MD who writes amusing H&P's.

1. Confused, aphasic patient with trach, PEG, no chart, dropped off at hospital labeled "mystery challenger".

2. "Hopefully nursing staff will not be taken in by patient's false c/o chest pain in order to recieve narcotics, however nursing staff can administer SL nitro if BP is within normal limits."

3. "repeat admission x4 in 2 months for detox, pysch input greatly appreciated and reviewed, unfortunately very little light at the end of this tunnel"

4. "92 y/o male with endstage Alzheimer's with bilateral pnuemonia and UTI, PEG feedings, code status reviewed with family, family desires aggressive measures, will review pt's disability income with social worker, and have disability income go to NH care, family will most likely change code status at that time."

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

1- Do not remove foley for 5 days, even if I write an order to take it out before that! :roll (General surgeon with a tendency to forget her own orders, on a fresh post-op pt. sp sigmoid resection)

2- Do not call night shift internal medicine service with low urine outputs. Internal medicine service does not care what the pt urine output is. :nono: (This precious gem of an internist is no longer working with us. :Melody: :balloons: :biggringi :rotfl: )

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grace & elthia.....tell me it ain't so! :roll :roll :roll :roll

Those were tooo funny!

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