Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

we had a pt trasfered up from ER and the MD wrote, please bathe pt on admission (that's how nasty she was) and she was only 14!

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Had a doc order a continual lady partsl betadine douche on this 450 pound woman. We did get it changed to a couple of times a day, but that was bad enough.....I requested the nurse that was helping me tie a rope around my foot in case I fell in ! all together now 1 2 3, pull.

Can I ask why you would want to douche with Betadine???

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Here's an order I loved- - - "cookies prn". The accompaning progress note explained - - - "Blood sugar runs a little high. Family bring in cookies, and at 96, who cares"

Reminds me of my great-gramma who didn't die until 96, used to eat Limberger (spelled wrong) cheese and a bowl of ice cream every day.

She used to sit at the table at night and eat a spoonful of ice cream then give a spoonful to the dog to lick off, back and forth. LOL.

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1) Buy patient chewing gum

2) change mouse poster

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for diagnosis i have seen junk food junky and excessive sexual behavior

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Specializes in Women's health & post-partum.

"Watch Pt"--this on nights, a 35-bed unit with one RN, one SN and one NA.

The nurse said "I watched him -- run out the door, and down the street. (I think it was security that caught up with him three or four blocks away). Oh, and he was supposed to have CHF.

By the way, this was 30 or so years ago. Most of those patients today would be day surgery, I think.

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Can I ask why you would want to douche with Betadine???

Betadine is a common douche solution now available OTC.

I'm guessing here.... At 450 pounds, there may have been some serious

hygiene issues.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

I don't blame the doc here, we knew what he meant. Still had to get clarification in the morning.

For a LOL with a BNP >3000 and a CXR that showed CHF, the doc probably wanted to write, "Daily Weights."

What he wrote was, "Daily Diet".

:lol2:

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I don't blame the doc here, we knew what he meant. Still had to get clarification in the morning.

For a LOL with a BNP >3000 and a CXR that showed CHF, the doc probably wanted to write, "Daily Weights."

What he wrote was, "Daily Diet".

:lol2:

please wash perineal area with shaving cream prn smell (new doc)

Doc misspelled the word of a popular med three times. drew a line through all three attempts and wrote you know what I mean and signed it. (retired doc)

melissa

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Specializes in Psych.
Have you ever tried to get a beer down an NG?? :p

omg!! I had a pt. who did that. Not in the hospital, mind you. But he told us that is how he got his "daily requirements" at home. I guess there really is nothing new under the sun.

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Specializes in Psych.

Dx entered into computer by admitting clerks after hearing them by phone(psych):

spychosis

post dramatic stress disorder

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"Insert foley catheter in PEG hole, inflate and send back to NH"

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