Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

[MrsWampthang]

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle

All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........." :rotfl:

I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.

Pam

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

I had a patient once, well actually it was my husband. He was hit in the mouth by a horse head and required 15 stitches in the TONGUE. That is what I told him, next time he would not back talk me.

Does he talk as well as Mr Ed now

Enquiring minds want to know, maybe

[lpnstudentin2010, LPN]

I saw this a few years ago while sitting in the ER waiting area. I have no clue why I was there (if you knew my kids you would understand, we've been there a lot).

Anyway, we ended up striking up a conversation with the lady sitting next to us.

She was there with her husband who was in back, being treated.

Apparently, they were having a "heated" discussion while eating Chinese and he bit off the end of his tongue.

When they were leaving I heard her laugh and said something to the effect of "thats what you get for arguing with me". She chuckled all the way out the door with him saying..."thut up, juth thut up".

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase bite your tounge

:rotfl:

[marybethm]

Years ago I had to work on Thanksgiving Day. An older man came in with a knife stuck in his back and said his wife stabbed him because he wouldn't give her the drumstick of the turkey. They must have been pretty tasty drumsticks for that to happen.

[errn7]

Cant remember if I posted this or not...but working in ther ERRRR you tend to see stupid people doing stupid things on a regular basis. I have worked there long enough to know that most of the population is as GUMP would say "stupid is as stupid does"

(1) This happen several years back...First of Dec and this middle age gentleman was trying to hang his Christmas lights in the dark and stepped off the roof of his house....

(2) A multitude of "toy" stories both young and old....male and female, regular "adult" toys and those that could be used as such.

(3) A more recent story a sunny warm Oct a husband and wife were out horse back riding. When they stopped to open the gate the man went to open the gate while the wife stood and held both horses. The husband's horse turned his head and bit the wife in the breast area. When she got to the ER and we took her bra off...her nipple was lying in the cup....OUCH. The Plastic guy re-attached it and sent her home.

(4) Boyfriend/Girlfriend were together for the night. sometime during the night the GF preformed certain "oral favors" on her boyfriend......however, the ball came off her tongue ring and boyfriend had a laceration to his male member that required suturing.....OUCH.....

[chadash]

I took care of a 72-year-old man once who had accidentally shot out his kneecap while cleaning his .22. He'd had a few beers too many, and for some reason thought it was a good time to clean and oil all the guns in the house. Good thing he never got to the AK-47 that he kept in the hall closet......... :uhoh21:

"what are you doing this evening?"

"Well, I think I will just go home, have a few too many drinks, and clean my AK-47..."

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

"what are you doing this evening?"

"Well, I think I will just go home, have a few too many drinks, and clean my AK-47..."

I love this thread - it always makes me smile!

[Dorito, ASN, RN]

During Nursing School Days, on one of the Night shift rotations in Germany... I am NOT making this up.... Sunday night we had a father bringing in his son, and attached vacuum . Well, the evil household machinery was removed, and everyone was sent back home (with household appliance - unattached). The next night, you would not believe it, here is the father, without son, but with Hoover.... guess he had to try if he had any more luck with the suctioning device.

We had the same thing happen here. I didn't see it but it must have compared to "Elephant Man". We also had an elderly gentleman come in with an Acorn Squash up the rectum and needed surgery to remove. The same elderly man had put a pencil up his urethra a year or so earlier and also had to have surgery to remove.

[chadash]

We had the same thing happen here. I didn't see it but it must have compared to "Elephant Man". We also had an elderly gentleman come in with an Acorn Squash up the rectum and needed surgery to remove. The same elderly man had put a pencil up his urethra a year or so earlier and also had to have surgery to remove.

Now you have just got to explain this to me, what disorder causes someone to do this, and are you telling me this is not totally unusual? Wowsers!

[almostthere06]

Almost 10 Christmases ago, my 2 younger sisters, then 10 and 9, were playing together in the living room. Sister #1 had just recently begun clarinet lessons (God help those of us who listened to the practicing). Sister #2 had just begun gymnastics. Sister #1, in all of her efforts to show off her new clarinet skills, begins practicing in the living room. Sister #2, in a fight for attention, decides that the living room is a wonderful setting to practice cartwheels. Next thing we know, Sister #2's foot has hit the end of the clarinet, thus shoving the mouthpiece and reed into Sister #1's soft palate. Much blood, a Christmas morning ED visit, 14 stitches, and a new carpet later, neither gymnastics or clarinet lessons were continued following the holidays.

Swallow that one!

[orange-rn]

Over a span of 4 days we had 3 foriegn bodies. 1st one was a pt. with an apple up his rear, yes he fell on it. The 2nd was a pt. who for some odd reason pt his member into a gatorade bottle and when he couldn't remove it tried to cut the bottle off. He came into the ER and had to have the rest cut off! Needless to say he left without notice. The 3rd was a pt put a remote control up his rear. His reason was...I was up smoking crack all night and decided to put it up my .....

[lpnstudentin2010, LPN]

.....The 3rd was a pt put a remote control up his rear. His reason was...I was up smoking crack all night and decided to put it up my .....

atleast he was honest

[WannaBRN4]

When I was in High school I volunteered during the summer as a candy striper. I was in ER leaving oneday a man came in with a gerbil stuck in his bum(orifice) . It took all I had not to laugh. He was so dramatic, yelling to the triage nurse through the window," I've got a frggin hamster in my bum lady. :roll Let me back there ,get it out. It was hilarious, that is something I will never forget. I had grown close to a few of the nurses and they told me the next time I came in that the guy was homosexual and that he said it was something that gay men do for pleasure. That is slack and gross, but to each his own. I would think that was very dangerous.