Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

[MrsWampthang]

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle

All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........." :rotfl:

I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.

Pam

[FutureNrse]

Add me to the list of folks who can verify that Nair is not a good substitute for bikini wax. :imbar

Yeah, I'd have to be on that list too. But even better is the one my ex pulled years ago. You know those synthetic pumice stones you can get in bright colors? Well, I had one in the shower that I used to keep my feet smooth during sandle season. Well, my brilliant ex, spotted it and for reasons I cannot fathom, used it on his face. He came out of the shower looking like he'd sandblasted his face. :rotfl:

[nialloh, RN]

These are all too funey. I haven't had anything like them...........But I'm Waiting :chuckle

[grammyr]

I used to work in a small rural hospital in Northern MI and some guy came into our ER with "rectal pain" - he claims that he picked some girl up in a bar, they went home and the last thing he remembered was her asking him if he liked "rough sex" - who knows what really happened but it turns out the rectal pain was caused by a jar of Wylers bouillion cubes in his rectum!! The on-call surgeon was able to remove it in the ER but apparently the X-ray was pretty interesting (because those little cubes are wrapped in foil)........ :rotfl:

Helped remove a granny smith apple once from the same orifice. Never looked at apples the same after that.:rotfl:

[errn7]

This happened this week actually. A resident from one of the numerous local group homes came in to the ER via paided ambulance service for abdominal pain ie. constipation. Sending him thru triage in the front d/t a full ER and approx 1 1- 1/2 hour wait time. Upon arrival to the back and after the MD eval xrays were ordered and completed. Diag. "full blown" Constipation... When my fellow ER RN went in with the 3H's enema the pt promptly told the nurse I am allergic to soap suds......Ahhhhh so thats what the smell is .....The MD after regaining his composure walked into the room and came out and ordered glycerin supp. x2. Upon return back to the room with the butt rockets in hand the pts jumped up and said I think I can go now.....and ran to the bathroom where he preceeded to fume-a-gate the whole ER.....After the usual laughing and gagging we had a new saying......" T, u literally scared the s#*t out of him"......Our tax dollars at work.....

[MQ Edna]

I work as an appointments specialist in the Neurology department for a major suburban Boston hospital. This patient, an older gentleman, came in and quite sheepishly said that he needed to cancel his upcoming Neurologist's appointment. Without me prodding him (which is against hospital ethics as well as my own) he proceeded to tell me that he found the source of his problem. Then he told me that his original complaint was a feeling of warmth and numbness in one foot. He went for numerous tests including an EMG, several other neurological examinations that lead to nothing out of the ordinary. He THEN told me that he went back to work and found that he had that particular sensation yet again. Upon looking under his desk, he found that he had a space heater......I almost gagged, I laughed so hard. Too funny!!

[edrn472003]

I had a patient once that was goose hunting out of a blind.

He pointed the gun up and shot a goose, turned slightly to fire again. As he was firing he was knocked to the ground. It seems the dead goose got his revenge. The goose had fallen directly onto the hunter, tearing open his cheek with his foot.

[edrn472003]

Our hospital is in a town right on the Mississippi River so we see alot of river type accidents/injuries. One day a fisherman came in with one fishing hook barb in his hand and one barb still in the walleyes mouth. It was a fairly good size fish and was still flopping around. We had to ace wrap the fish to the guys arm to keep it from digging the barb in the guys hand deeper. We then cut the lure to release the fish and got the barb out of the guys hand. The guy wanted us to reimburse him for the lure since he said it was expensive. Can you believe it.

edrn

[edrn472003]

I had this guy come into the ER with C/O feeling of fullness abdomen and rectal pain. Stated he got drunk night before and had taken someone home with him and thinks he passed out. On digital exam an object was felt but could not be extracted manually. He was then given conscious sedation but they were still not successful. He was then taken to surgery and under general anesthesia using a rectal dilator they extracted a 8 inch vibrator that was still running. Good batteries uh!!!!!!

[MQ Edna]

I had this guy come into the ER with C/O feeling of fullness abdomen and rectal pain. Stated he got drunk night before and had taken someone home with him and thinks he passed out. On digital exam an object was felt but could not be extracted manually. He was then given conscious sedation but they were still not successful. He was then taken to surgery and under general anesthesia using a rectal dilator they extracted a 8 inch vibrator that was still running. Good batteries uh!!!!!!

:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[LeahJet, ASN, RN]

When I was working in a small rural hospital ER in Mississippi many years ago, one of my co-workers was a meek little thing ( I know, hard to believe she was in the ER). Well, it was a busy Saturday afternoon and I was cleaning up a guy with road rash from a bike accident and my unfortunate coworker was next door with a VERY large, rather smelly, and quite disgruntled psychiatric patient that had an adversion to wearing clothes. I carried on a pleasant conversation with my patient as the activity and the voice level next door seemed to rise. I listened as my fellow nurse tried in her sweet voice to coax the 300+ lb. stark raving mad woman to allow her to put in a foley. (the lady had some CHF going on) I was about to excuse myself to see if I could help the other nurse out when I heard a horrible crash, a scream, and then the nurse running by our room with a massive crazed completely naked mad woman waving a foley.....(holding the catheter part and swinging it like a gladiator's weapon)....at her heels. I am ashamed to admit it...but I just stood there dumbfounded for a minute. I wasn't worried about the nurse. She was a small fast little thing...and the patient only had the strength to make it a few steps. After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was a few seconds, I turned to look at my patient to see his reaction....the curtain to his room was partially open and he saw the whole thing. He was just staring blankly ahead and just as I thought he may be having a focal seizure, he said..."Damn, you don't see that every day." He was right. I have not, and I think it's safe to say, probably will not, ever see that again! =)

~~rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength~~eric hoffer

[Morning-glory]

When I was a student I was totally freaked out by IM injections, so I managed to avoid doing my first one till last semester of second year.

I was cornered by my teacher into doing this. I was not a happy puppy. Anxiety levels started to build and I was totally wierded out.

Anyway, I got it all ready, Demerol, syringe, needle, alcohol swab.

Draw up med, change needle (we did that in the old days, med on needle would cause more pain), grad swab and head into the room. Actually, pushed in!! So I go to take the cap off, cap is stuck so I pull harder, darn thing still won't come apart. So I really reefed on it hard. Cap came off so unexpectedly that I was surprised. Cap in right hand, needle and syringe in the other. Unknown to me at the time was a reaction to bring hands back together when unexpectedly separated at speed. So left hand comes back to right hand, again at speed. Needle misses the cap and goes straight through my hand. I look at this and immediately pull it out at speed. Same reaction happens again. I stab my right hand again, but does not go all the way through the second time around.

Instructor then steps behind me (no kidding) and grabs both wrists. Brings this little show to a stand-still. All this in front of the patient. I then start to laugh and cry at the same time, resulting in a strangled gasp and an easing to the floor. Never had I ever experienced this level of anxiety. WOW!

So teacher gave the patient her med. Took me aside after I had stopped making undignified noises and wanted me to give her an IM injection. I said no way. Give me a good old stroke patient who wasn't aware of what was going on and I would be ok. So I had a dear old man who's family I still remember as being one of the kindest ever. I asked them to leave for a minute, I gave the shot perfectly and we all survived the ordeal.

I went on to do a flu shot clinic job and gave 3000 shots in 5 weeks. I'm good at them now. But I am very careful about sticky caps. Twist, don't pull!! And if that doesn't work, get another needle!

[ISeeURN]

Had a 50 something man come in after thinking that the vacuum might be pleasant to use "you know where." Unfortunately, he didn't use the hose of the shop-vac, thought there would be better suction if he was closer to the motor. He's not half the man he used to be. Wound up somehow being picked up by national news service!! (yes, ETOH was involved)

During Nursing School Days, on one of the Night shift rotations in Germany... I am NOT making this up.... Sunday night we had a father bringing in his son, and attached vacuum . Well, the evil household machinery was removed, and everyone was sent back home (with household appliance - unattached). The next night, you would not believe it, here is the father, without son, but with Hoover.... guess he had to try if he had any more luck with the suctioning device.