My wife, a piano teacher, and I were talking about music and she was using some pretty "technical" terms that I, not a music professional, didn't understand.
She said, "Now you know what it's like for me. You come home and start talking about your pasta and broccoli."
I didn't understand.
"Your pasta and broccoli. You know -- you talking about them all the time!"
I still had no clue.
She sighed. "When you're talking about your heart patients and how they had pasta or broccoli."
Then it dawned on me. I laughed. :chuckle
She meant when I talked about PTCA ("pizza") and CABG ("cabbage"). :roll
My elderly mother went shopping with me one day. She seemed exhausted so I asked her how she was doing. She told me she needed a banana because her "electric lights were off."
I was working on a telemetry floor in a Catholic hospital when I had an older gentleman in a-fib. He asked me when could he go home? I told him as soon as he converted. He replied " send in the nuns I'm ready to convert."
Oh dear Lord I just nearly wet myself a bagel response...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.
(Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!
I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.
(Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!
Have you had one ask you to hand them the "jug" so they can "make water" yet? I was raised in the South and that one still tickles me.
My wife has banned all medical talk in the house. If the kids get sick all she wants to know is if I can fix them or do we need to get them to a Dr. If I try to explain my reasons she just "blanks out". I guess I have done medical terminology to death.
When told that she had a fractured radius & ulna I had a patient reply that "it's lucky I didn't break it!" She was upset when she was told that yes she had broken her arm.
I had a brain-injured pt who kept putting his finger down his meatus, even with restraints on. At 2 am he started screaming so I ran in there to find blood gushing, spewing, pulsating out of his member. I grabbed a towel, applied pressure, someone else called the doc, two other cleaned him and the bed up while I sat there, applying pressure. After the clean up we were alone, he was still bleeding, and he turns to me and asks in all seriousness, "Was that good for you? I get the feeling you were disappointed."
Logomom
7 Posts
My elderly mother went shopping with me one day. She seemed exhausted so I asked her how she was doing. She told me she needed a banana because her "electric lights were off."
I was working on a telemetry floor in a Catholic hospital when I had an older gentleman in a-fib. He asked me when could he go home? I told him as soon as he converted. He replied " send in the nuns I'm ready to convert."