Flowers for Mother's day.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · May 12, 2016

I decided to buy all our Female patients(13) flowers for Mothers Day. We screened all of them for allergies and then delivered the flowers. They loved them. It only cost me $140 which I thought was money well spent. Is this something that is out of line for a Nurse to do?

Yes. Some people might find it sweet, but I find it creepy, desperate and attention-seeking. The fact that you're publicizing it makes it that much worse.

Hopefully you wanted honest opinions and not just praise.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · May 12, 2016

Buying gifts for patients crosses the predetermined boundaries of the nurse/patient relationship. However, I realize you did it out of generosity and concern for your patients, and I applaud you for thinking of them.

I bought a hamburger for a dying hospice patient with end-stage CHF when I was a new nurse. A few days earlier she woefully said, "I can never have a burger again." I sneaked the fast food burger into her room and her face lit up with joy.

Nonetheless, as a general rule of thumb I avoid buying patients anything these days.

Extra Pickles · May 12, 2016

did you also check their files to see that they were all mothers of living children? if you didn't, then you were risking a bad reaction from someone who did not want to be reminded of their maternal status and by someone outside of their own family no less. if you did, that's just too creepy to consider.

you meant well, but I wouldn't do that again.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 12, 2016

What do you plan to do for Father's Day?

Raviepoo · May 13, 2016

You were absolutely crossing the line. As a nurse you have a professional relationship with your patients, not a personal one. You can be compassionate and personable, but gift giving is not OK.

What if one of those patients had tried for years to become pregnant without success? What if one of them had given birth to a child of rape? What if one of them had a terrible relationship with an abusive mother? What if one of them had lost a string of pregnancies to miscarriage? What if one of them was grieving a child taken away by it's father?

Mother's Day is not a happy time for every woman. Some women have reason to dread it. Did it occur to you that your gift might have actually brought up trauma for a patient? Giving Mother's Day flowers to a woman you don't know intimately is pretty presumtious and has the potential to be the opposite of therapeutic.

Kitiger, RN · May 13, 2016

In private duty home nursing, we don't give gifts of over $10 value, to avoid violating the Federal Anti-Kickback Statute. We do not want the client to think that we are trying to buy their good will. We also don't accept gifts of over $10.

Especially with finances, one must keep a professional distance.

Kitiger, RN · May 13, 2016

Mother's Day is not a happy time for every woman. Some women have reason to dread it. Did it occur to you that your gift might have actually brought up trauma for a patient? Giving Mother's Day flowers to a woman you don't know intimately is pretty presumtious and has the potential to be the opposite of therapeutic.

Mother's Day is a difficult time for me. I agree with Raviepoo; this had the potential of causing distress.

MPKH, BSN, RN · May 13, 2016

I think you crossed a line--giving gifts to patients is a big no no. Did your manager okay this?

It's different if the hospital provided the flowers to the patients--the auxiliary group in my hospital routinely gives patients spending their birthdays in the hospital with a card and a small token.

I know you did this with good intentions...but personal gifts to patients are definitely a no go in the future.

LeChien, BSN, RN · May 13, 2016

Is this an actual question from an actual nurse? It doesn't sound like it.

LeChien, BSN, RN · May 13, 2016

What if one of those patients had tried for years to become pregnant without success? What if one of them had given birth to a child of rape? What if one of them had a terrible relationship with an abusive mother? What if one of them had lost a string of pregnancies to miscarriage? What if one of them was grieving a child taken away by it's father?

Some women just don't want kids either..

BeachsideRN, ASN · May 13, 2016

Is this an actual question from an actual nurse? It doesn't sound like it.

Sounds like homework to me