Fired, how do I get over it?

Some times it seems like making the cut as a nurse is more of a sorority... like it does not have much do to with if you are a good nurse or not but whether you fit in/ the nurses on the unit accept you...

I find it rather outrageous that you got disciplined for "excessive absences" due to calling in sick when you had H1N1. Good grief, were you supposed to go to work when you were symptomatic and expose patients and co-workers? Especially during a pandemic when many workplaces said they were easing their standards for sick calls so that workers wouldn't feel obliged to come in and infect everyone else?

I once worked with an amazing nurse who got written up by the nurse manager for excessive absences---she called in quite a bit when she was undergoing chemo and radiation when she had breast cancer.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Yeah, it does sound like it was more of a clash of personalities and that you inadvertently stepped on the wrong person's toes. Eventually, you will make peace with this although it will take a long time. You're mourning a loss, not only of your livelihood but of a part of your self-image, a part of your very being. You have probably already heard that it will be the best thing for you in the long run, that this was a toxic work environment or not a good fit for you and that you're better off not being there. Still, that doesn't help pay the bills or make you feel any better right now.

Very gentle hugs to you.

Any involuntary job loss, for any reason, can be emotionally devastating. Considering the degree to which most adults cull their personal sense of identity from their work, it is personal.

I have never experienced termination like you describe, but I have suddenly lost a job due to corporate reorganization. I was one of 224 people who lost their jobs that day, so I could hardly consider myself as having been singled out -- yet I felt unbelievably angry and anxious for months. And then that anger turned inward and I experienced a full-blown major depressive episode.

So no, I don't think you're taking it "too personally" -- but you do need to make a commitment to yourself to take care of yourself and set yourself on the right path.

Consider whether you are having depressive symptoms such as lack of interest in formerly pleasurable activities and relationships; disturbances in sleeping and/or eating habits; fatigue; or generalized anger, sadness or anxiety. Consider visiting your PMD to discuss treatment options if you are having any of these symptoms.

Commit yourself to taking a critical, objective look at what went wrong in that job. I have absolutely no respect for managers who allow a culture of, "we don't like her, so we don't want to work with her" to take hold -- but they are out there. On the other hand, none of us are perfect robots, so it's likely that somewhere along the way there was a situation or conversation that you could have handled better.

If you have not been job hunting, please start immediately. It is enormously difficult - but it will be even more so if you delay. Get a friend or family member to role play with you and map out what you'll say in interviews when the issue of why you left your last position comes up. Being prepared and even confident in your ability to discuss the difficult subject will help you to be less fearful.

{{Hugs}} to you. This too, shall pass.

The simple answer to this is to get on with your life and don't lay down and accept it. If you truly did not do anything wrong then you have to fight for your professional reputation. Go and apply elsewhere and if your reason for leaving your last job comes up tell them you left of your own accord because you did not feel it was a good fit for you, politics, dramatics, favoritism, etc. Most employers will not say why a former employee is no longer there, only that they used to work there and if they are eligible for rehire. They do this because there is too much liability and they can be sued. Unless you committed a proven criminal act on the job and were fired for that reason then anything else they say is purely opinion and conjecture and it cannot be used to dictate how the rest of your career goes. If they do not understand this then get a labor lawyer to write them a letter, $100, explaining your position and intentions if they continue to jeopardize your career. I promise you they will do nothing to stand in the way of you getting new employment. The fact that you were new there goes a long way. Most people don't know if they will be a good fit until they are working there for some time. Employers know this and they expect some people to leave a new job after a few months if they are not a good fit. Just make sure that that old job is not torpedoing you at every job interview and you will be fine. There are many, many nursing jobs out there don't forget that. In the mean time take advantage of your free time and take some certification classes that will help your career, ACLS, PALS, CEUs, etc. Make the most of it. The best revenge is finding a better job that pays more money and then emailing that nurse that fired you and "thanking" her for what she did.

it happens, office politics gets more people fired than not doing their job.

no biggie, learn from it and move on.

:redbeatheThank you everyone. I have been applying for other jobs, I started applying in Jan., however this is a very rural town near the Canadian boarder so job opportunities are few and far between. I have interviewed for jobs but no job offer has come so I might need to hire that lawyer. I did go see a lawyer in Jan. he told me that this hospital is known for doing things like this and that we could have pursued this as a wrongful discharge. However, I did not file a grievance right away so this would be an uphill battle. I am not sure if I am getting a bad employment reference from her or if it's just my interviewing skills but you think after interviewing for 4 jobs that I would have something by now! I am also going to go see my PCP as I thing I might be in need of some antidepressants!

I made really good money at my previous job so I make livable money on unemployment. Enough to pay the necessities and buy food.

It takes time to not be bitter. I was fired from a place i had been at for 10 yrs. After all the times i came in and worked extra for them and stayed late. They ripped me off of over 5000.00 in paid time off benefits even though another nurse not 2 months earlier had been terminated and they gave them to her. So yep it takes time to not be bitter. I have only stepped foot in there 1 time and immediately felt the anger. It took me 6 weeks to even bother to want to look for a job and then I went totally opposite of hospital and went long term care. I love it. Its what i was doing when i decided to go into nursing. So , god has a plan for situation right now and everything happens for a reason because of that. Have a friend or someone call and see what kind of references you are getting. you never know but that might be the problem. it takes some time but you will be able to move on

It takes time to not be bitter. I was fired from a place i had been at for 10 yrs. After all the times i came in and worked extra for them and stayed late. They ripped me off of over 5000.00 in paid time off benefits even though another nurse not 2 months earlier had been terminated and they gave them to her. So yep it takes time to not be bitter. I have only stepped foot in there 1 time and immediately felt the anger. It took me 6 weeks to even bother to want to look for a job and then I went totally opposite of hospital and went long term care. I love it. Its what i was doing when i decided to go into nursing. So , god has a plan for situation right now and everything happens for a reason because of that. Have a friend or someone call and see what kind of references you are getting. you never know but that might be the problem. it takes some time but you will be able to move on

That's a great idea for her. Have a friend call and ask for a reference. If they say anything other than name, rank, and serial number, so to speak, then go talk to a lawyer right away. You could end up getting two years salary out of it. No joke, it happens all the time. That is why labor lawyers exist.

If you have been experiencing depression symptoms since November, please see you physician. Take care of yourself first .

The best way to get back up is remember why you went into nursing in the first place. Never let a person or place define you. Move on and find another job. Nursing is tough and people can be tough but be tougher!! This too shall pass.Hugs to you. Never give up.. When the going gets tough just fight harder, quote from my 80 year old mother.