Fired, how do I get over it?

Published

Specializes in PCU teley cardica vascular unit.

I need some input from fellow nurses as I am in a deep dark hole I can't seem to get out of.

Background info:

I returned to take a nursing job in my home town. I was working at a local hospital on their med/surg floor, (I was previously employed at a large hospital on a PCU teley cardiac/vascular floor). At my six month review the DON told me she had not tolerance for absences, I had contracted the H1N1 virus from one of my patients and had been very ill, I had missed around 6 shifts at work. I had followed policy and called in and informed the staff on what was going on. In my review she stated I had a great attitude at work, but was not meeting her expectations due to my absences. She also put me on 6 more months of probation.

The absence issue was taken care of and things were going well, or so I thought!

I had had a very busy day on the floor and right before report on of my patients pulled a joint drain. What a mess! Patient really needed this drain as they had put out 300 cc. I fix them up and rush into report. As I am giving report I state what had happened in regard to this patient and their output from the joint drain. I stated that I had not called the Doc yet, but would as soon as I was done with report, ( I didn't want to keep them waiting). Two of the nurses in report rip my head off about this issue, I handled it as best I could but I did get a little "testy" over their unprofessional behavior! The next AM I was put on call, which I readily accepted after this ordeal! Only to be called in by the DON and told that my position was just not going to work out. She told me that a couple of the nurses though I was overconfident and did not know what I was doing, that I had a bad attitude, was unteachable and told stories. She was reading this to me from an email she had received from one of the nurses whom was unprofessional in report the day before! I couldn't believe I was losing my job based on this email!

This was right before Thanksgiving and I have been so depressed over the whole thing! I had never had problems with fellow co-workers before and never been written up or counseled, nothing! My nursing skills had never been questioned and I had never caused patient harm.

How do I get over this and get on with my life? Am I taking it to personal? Help!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

No, you are not taking this too personal. This is your livelihood. Before Thansgiving, and you aren't working at a new job? How can you be taking this the wrong way? How are you paying your rent? Or buying your food? You are just going to have to go out there and get over this by getting another job and getting on with it. You may have to move away, but the only way to put it behind you is to get a job where you won't be taken for granted.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

Some times it seems like making the cut as a nurse is more of a sorority... like it does not have much do to with if you are a good nurse or not but whether you fit in/ the nurses on the unit accept you...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

I find it rather outrageous that you got disciplined for "excessive absences" due to calling in sick when you had H1N1. Good grief, were you supposed to go to work when you were symptomatic and expose patients and co-workers? Especially during a pandemic when many workplaces said they were easing their standards for sick calls so that workers wouldn't feel obliged to come in and infect everyone else?

I once worked with an amazing nurse who got written up by the nurse manager for excessive absences---she called in quite a bit when she was undergoing chemo and radiation when she had breast cancer. :mad:

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Yeah, it does sound like it was more of a clash of personalities and that you inadvertently stepped on the wrong person's toes. Eventually, you will make peace with this although it will take a long time. You're mourning a loss, not only of your livelihood but of a part of your self-image, a part of your very being. You have probably already heard that it will be the best thing for you in the long run, that this was a toxic work environment or not a good fit for you and that you're better off not being there. Still, that doesn't help pay the bills or make you feel any better right now.

Very gentle hugs to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

Any involuntary job loss, for any reason, can be emotionally devastating. Considering the degree to which most adults cull their personal sense of identity from their work, it is personal.

I have never experienced termination like you describe, but I have suddenly lost a job due to corporate reorganization. I was one of 224 people who lost their jobs that day, so I could hardly consider myself as having been singled out -- yet I felt unbelievably angry and anxious for months. And then that anger turned inward and I experienced a full-blown major depressive episode.

So no, I don't think you're taking it "too personally" -- but you do need to make a commitment to yourself to take care of yourself and set yourself on the right path.

Consider whether you are having depressive symptoms such as lack of interest in formerly pleasurable activities and relationships; disturbances in sleeping and/or eating habits; fatigue; or generalized anger, sadness or anxiety. Consider visiting your PMD to discuss treatment options if you are having any of these symptoms.

Commit yourself to taking a critical, objective look at what went wrong in that job. I have absolutely no respect for managers who allow a culture of, "we don't like her, so we don't want to work with her" to take hold -- but they are out there. On the other hand, none of us are perfect robots, so it's likely that somewhere along the way there was a situation or conversation that you could have handled better.

If you have not been job hunting, please start immediately. It is enormously difficult - but it will be even more so if you delay. Get a friend or family member to role play with you and map out what you'll say in interviews when the issue of why you left your last position comes up. Being prepared and even confident in your ability to discuss the difficult subject will help you to be less fearful.

{{Hugs}} to you. This too, shall pass.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The simple answer to this is to get on with your life and don't lay down and accept it. If you truly did not do anything wrong then you have to fight for your professional reputation. Go and apply elsewhere and if your reason for leaving your last job comes up tell them you left of your own accord because you did not feel it was a good fit for you, politics, dramatics, favoritism, etc. Most employers will not say why a former employee is no longer there, only that they used to work there and if they are eligible for rehire. They do this because there is too much liability and they can be sued. Unless you committed a proven criminal act on the job and were fired for that reason then anything else they say is purely opinion and conjecture and it cannot be used to dictate how the rest of your career goes. If they do not understand this then get a labor lawyer to write them a letter, $100, explaining your position and intentions if they continue to jeopardize your career. I promise you they will do nothing to stand in the way of you getting new employment. The fact that you were new there goes a long way. Most people don't know if they will be a good fit until they are working there for some time. Employers know this and they expect some people to leave a new job after a few months if they are not a good fit. Just make sure that that old job is not torpedoing you at every job interview and you will be fine. There are many, many nursing jobs out there don't forget that. In the mean time take advantage of your free time and take some certification classes that will help your career, ACLS, PALS, CEUs, etc. Make the most of it. The best revenge is finding a better job that pays more money and then emailing that nurse that fired you and "thanking" her for what she did.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

it happens, office politics gets more people fired than not doing their job.

no biggie, learn from it and move on.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PCU teley cardica vascular unit.

:redbeatheThank you everyone. I have been applying for other jobs, I started applying in Jan., however this is a very rural town near the Canadian boarder so job opportunities are few and far between. I have interviewed for jobs but no job offer has come so I might need to hire that lawyer. I did go see a lawyer in Jan. he told me that this hospital is known for doing things like this and that we could have pursued this as a wrongful discharge. However, I did not file a grievance right away so this would be an uphill battle. I am not sure if I am getting a bad employment reference from her or if it's just my interviewing skills but you think after interviewing for 4 jobs that I would have something by now! I am also going to go see my PCP as I thing I might be in need of some antidepressants!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PCU teley cardica vascular unit.

I made really good money at my previous job so I make livable money on unemployment. Enough to pay the necessities and buy food.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It takes time to not be bitter. I was fired from a place i had been at for 10 yrs. After all the times i came in and worked extra for them and stayed late. They ripped me off of over 5000.00 in paid time off benefits even though another nurse not 2 months earlier had been terminated and they gave them to her. So yep it takes time to not be bitter. I have only stepped foot in there 1 time and immediately felt the anger. It took me 6 weeks to even bother to want to look for a job and then I went totally opposite of hospital and went long term care. I love it. Its what i was doing when i decided to go into nursing. So , god has a plan for situation right now and everything happens for a reason because of that. Have a friend or someone call and see what kind of references you are getting. you never know but that might be the problem. it takes some time but you will be able to move on

Up Vote Up Vote ×
It takes time to not be bitter. I was fired from a place i had been at for 10 yrs. After all the times i came in and worked extra for them and stayed late. They ripped me off of over 5000.00 in paid time off benefits even though another nurse not 2 months earlier had been terminated and they gave them to her. So yep it takes time to not be bitter. I have only stepped foot in there 1 time and immediately felt the anger. It took me 6 weeks to even bother to want to look for a job and then I went totally opposite of hospital and went long term care. I love it. Its what i was doing when i decided to go into nursing. So , god has a plan for situation right now and everything happens for a reason because of that. Have a friend or someone call and see what kind of references you are getting. you never know but that might be the problem. it takes some time but you will be able to move on

That's a great idea for her. Have a friend call and ask for a reference. If they say anything other than name, rank, and serial number, so to speak, then go talk to a lawyer right away. You could end up getting two years salary out of it. No joke, it happens all the time. That is why labor lawyers exist.:yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

If you have been experiencing depression symptoms since November, please see you physician. Take care of yourself first .

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion