Finally understand the Facebook no-no's

Nurses Relations

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I've been having a lot of problems with a co-worker lately, and when she requested to be my FB friend, I thought about it long and hard before I accepted. I'm a nice person, and I give people the benefit of the doubt the majority of the time. She had been a lil nicer to me, so I thought this might be her way of mending bridges.

Wrong.

I have a nasty cold. One of those ones that settles into your chest and hangs on for days. Two days ago, I slept all day, then attempted to keep my dinner plans I had made a week or so ago. I would've canceled but its for a younger girl that I mentor. I went to dinner, and I was miserable. Could barely breathe, and I was exhausted when I arrived home. Up until that point, I had been feeling ok and I was going to try working, but once I got home, I knew I couldn't manage a 10 hour shift. I called in. I posted a status about needing lots of breathing tx's and sleep, and I thanked the young girl for putting up with my miserably sick self while at dinner.

I received a call from my nursing supervisor the next morning. Basically, my co-worker knew I called out, and she saw this status. This status had nothing to do with work, and in my opinion, isn't even incriminating. She "misread" it and told my supervisor that I went out to dinner after I had called in. I had to explain to my supervisor that I had attempted to go out to dinner before I called in, but was so sick I left early. She was still angry and told me that "it didn't look good" and asked why I even went out to dinner. So, I explained that the plans had been made for a week, and it was with a younger girl I mentor. Its been a rough week between me getting sick and my gramma being in the hospital. I was just trying to fit promised time in with the girl. That seemed to shut her up a bit.

After that, I immediately deleted the co-worker. I never post anything about work, or closely related to work on my FB as I know what can happen. I have learned my lesson. Work and FB do NOT mix.

I agree w/ Ruby and OCN. I understand that one might be physically able to post on FB while too ill to work but I sincerely do NOT understand why you would want to. But then I don't understand why healthy people do it either. A lot of self involved over-sharing that interests no one but you, lol. Just keep a diary.

I do post a status at least once a day (generally not more than twice a day). One of the real benefits of facebook for me is keeping up with loved-ones lives. I have friends and loved-ones all over the country (and quite a few outside the country). Yes, of course we e-mail and call each other....but facebook allows for the day-to-day sharing of information that generally only happens with close proximity. For example, if I'm stressed about an exam, it's unlikely I'm going to e-mail that out to everyone...it's just not important enough for an e-mail.

However, with facebook, I can put, "Totally stressed about next week's exam!!" as a status. If my loved ones lived next door (or around the block, etc) then I'd see them and they'd know this information. Facebook is just a way to "see" them to share the details of our life.

That being said, I'd have to be pretty darn sick to not post on facebook. I continued to use fb through a really nasty bout with Pneumonia....and trust me, I was definitely sick. :-/ It was a great way to keep up with folks, as asthma + Pneumonia means I get out of breath during conversations....so phone calls were frustrating. I could even check fb while doing my breathing treatments! (I had a mask...hands free! )

I don't have a facebook because I do NOT trust the lack of privacy. I know many sites collect information about you from social networking sites. Google your name and you might be surprised at how much information has been collected without you knowledge or consent.

Spokeo, zabasearch, radaris, and intelieus all collect data about you from various sites.

Mylife dot com has been known to swipe photos from fb to compile unauthorized free to the public personal profiles on people with personal data such as photo, employment, addresses, relatives addresses etc.

Plus like Ruby V I've recently worked dangerously short due to a call-in. The next day a co-worker mentioned to me that the RN who had called in sick posted about something he was doing as a facebook status. Neither myself nor my co-worker told the NM but it did tick us off.

I check internet sites for my name about once a month. I've never seen any information that I didn't already know was there (profile page from work, other pages that I know are there).

If you lock down your facebook settings, they're getting about the same amount of information from you that your supermarket "member card" gets you. They're looking at aggregates, not your personal information.

But, if folks don't want to take responsibility for the privacy settings on their various internet accounts (not just FB) then I agree with you, they shouldn't have the accounts.

That being said, I would consider "friending" a co-worker (just as I have "friended fellow students). However, I do not "friend" people I don't know well (and trust), management or professors. After I graduate, I'll likely "friend" a few professors, and after I've left a job I've "friended" managers....but not until then.

I don't have a facebook because I do NOT trust the lack of privacy. I know many sites collect information about you from social networking sites. Google your name and you might be surprised at how much information has been collected without you knowledge or consent.

Spokeo, zabasearch, radaris, and intelius all collect data about you from various sites.

Mylife dot com has been known to swipe photos from fb to compile unauthorized free to the public personal profiles on people with personal data such as photo, employment, addresses, relatives addresses etc.

Plus like Ruby V I've recently worked dangerously short due to a call-in. The next day a co-worker mentioned to me that the RN who had called in sick posted about something he was doing as a facebook status. Neither myself nor my co-worker told the NM but it did tick us off.

I don't think the information is as private as users think too. About the posting of status reports-I wonder why people think everyone is interested in the mundane details of their lives. Another thing that bothers me about fb is that people seem to be doing things for the sake of being seen by an audience. It seems narcissistic imo. I call email or see my friends/relatives when I have something to say.

I don't think the information is as private as users think too. About the posting of status reports-I wonder why people think everyone is interested in the mundane details of their lives. Another thing that bothers me about fb is that people seem to be doing things for the sake of being seen by an audience. It seems narcissistic imo. I call email or see my friends/relatives when I have something to say.

What evidence do you have to support this?

How private do you think it is?

What kind of information do you intend to put on Facebook?

I'm in a career change from technology to nursing. A trend I've noticed about how folks interact with various internet entities (like facebook) is that many either over or under react.

Folks who under-react don't consider the need for security/privacy controls at all. As a result, they may find themselves in a tough spot.

Folks who over-react, tend to see goblins behind every corner and often just decide to not join any online entity.

The reality (as is often the case) is somewhere in the middle. Just as we all had to learn how to keep ourselves safe in the real world (look both ways before crossing streets, lock doors, don't walk at night in badly lit areas, don't flash cash on the street, etc)....we need to learn to keep ourselves safe in the virtual world (never put sensitive information in e-mails, don't share with people you don't know, don't download files you're not expecting, etc).

Now, we can decide to become virtual recluses just as we can choose to merely lock ourselves in the house (it does decreases risk)...or we can manage our risk and still participate.

Specializes in Emergency.
I rarely ever post on FB to begin with, but I would never, under any circumstances, post if I had called off sick. If you're too sick to be at work, you're too sick to be on FB.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I try to always listen to my gut feelings when it comes to situations like this.

Respectfully disagree with this. If I call in because I'm sick and I don't want to put my immunocompromised patients & co-workers at risk, it does not imply that I'm on my deathbed. And many of us have fb on our cell phones. So for all you know, someone could be laying in bed awake, posting on fb.

OP, I had a similar circumstance happen several weeks ago, but myself & the other people I work with that were "tattled" upon don't know who it was that ran to our manager. It's a hard lesson to learn, that someone you consider your friend and a professional chooses to act like a grade schooler.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Respectfully disagree with this. If I call in because I'm sick and I don't want to put my immunocompromised patients & co-workers at risk, it does not imply that I'm on my deathbed. And many of us have fb on our cell phones. So for all you know, someone could be laying in bed awake, posting on fb.

OP, I had a similar circumstance happen several weeks ago, but myself & the other people I work with that were "tattled" upon don't know who it was that ran to our manager. It's a hard lesson to learn, that someone you consider your friend and a professional chooses to act like a grade schooler.

Believe it or not, I do understand the concept of a "smartphone." I even have one.

What I don't understand is needing to update your status to let people know that you are booting/snotting/hocking up lugies/tooting, or whatever it is your illness is making you do. Really. Maybe I was raised differently, maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know. I just don't see the need to give a shout out to everyone to let them know what you're doing all the time.

All this back and forth about fb is giving me a headache. Maybe I should update my status.

What I don't understand is needing to update your status to let people know that you are booting/snotting/hocking up lugies/tooting, or whatever it is your illness is making you do. Really. Maybe I was raised differently, maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know. I just don't see the need to give a shout out to everyone to let them know what you're doing all the time.

I'm not sure what more you want here- you sound like you just don't like Facebook, which is fine. You don't have to. You're asking a lot of those of us who do use FB to explain it in a way that makes you suddenly decide to like Facebook.

I have friends who don't understand why I bother being an active poster on allnurses, but to each their own, right? It's fun, and I get something out of the interaction. That's what Facebook is to me too: I don't get points for talking other people in to becoming facebook fans.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
She was still angry and told me that "it didn't look good" and asked why I even went out to dinner. So, I explained...............

After that, I immediately deleted the co-worker. I never post anything about work, or closely related to work on my FB as I know what can happen. I have learned my lesson. Work and FB do NOT mix.

You owed her no explanation as to what you do in your private life. Why you went out to eat is your own business and I would have told her that....."all you need to know is I was too sick to work."

I have lots of coworkers as FB friends, including my boss and the HR manager. I am very selective about what I post as my status...knowing that whatever I say will be repeated and I have to deal with the consequences....so I don't post anything that I wouldn't want repeated. So FB and coworkers do mix...to an extent.

Sorry you were burned, that co-worker sucks. What goes around comes around, and she'll have her day.

I know how you feel. I lost my job b/c I was friends with someone from work and they took an issue to my manager. My patients that I keep in touch with and fellow workers were devestated and angry. Since this happened I deleted almost everyone I used to work with. I don't want them knowing anything about my life, or having more of a reason to be jealous of me. Be thankful you still have your job!

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i have a friend who feels compelled to update her status on facebook every few hours with such scintillating details of her life as this: "having chicken salad for lunch. yum!" or "just one more bathroom to clean, and then i can take a nap!" or "rickybaby, the love of my life is home from work early tonight. ta ta!" followed by "we had such a great time in the bedroom!" none of this stuff is earth shattering or even all that interesting. i finally "unfreinded" her because the rare times when i check my facebook account (just got it to keep track of what the child was doing on-line and kept it for the occasional update from far-flung friends and relatives) i had to wade through pages and pages of that drivel to get to anything interesting such as: "my daughter had her baby at 11 this morning. it's a girl!!!! mom and baby are both doing fine!" or "i'm planning to be on your coast next month . . . can you meet me for a few hours of chatting and a few glasses of wine?" facebook is great for the latter type of thing, but i totally miss the attraction of updating the world with what you had for lunch, what you really did after you called in sick or your housecleaning chores.

guess i'm just too old to understand.

I do have a FB account but I don't put details about my work, life etc. I have told my daughter that she posts WAYYY too much personal info on there but she still hasn't changed her posting behavior.

Specializes in School LVN, Peds HH.

I have nothing about my work either... No company name, no title, no description... Ive never had anyone ask me for it either. It's better that way.

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